Coming off the heels of my crazy-insane apartment post on Monday, I thought I should continue my fantasy life as an extravagant gazillionaire art collector. As I am writing this post from the very cold, and very dry desert (I'm in Albuquerque this week) I thought it would be appropriate to spice up my daydream with a little warmth and salt water I'm thinking it will go a little something like this: My wealthy CEO husband has just left town on, yet another, last minute "business trip," I clumsily hand off our annoying baby to the nanny and thank God that I've had the good sense to give the pool boy (who bears a striking resemblance to Christian Bale) the afternoon off. We playfully chase each other up the ramp to the yacht that I will most certainly retain after the long and messy divorce. Can you blame me:

Guilty, commissioned by Dakis Joannou, with exterior camouflage by Jeff Koons, Interior Design by Ivana Porfiri

While it is truly devastating that this yacht does not belong to me (I can barely even afford a bath-tub toy that I could paint on my own), I am quite content just knowing that this yacht exists.

Let's take a closer look:

How much radder would Overboard had been if Kurt Russell had been painting this mural rather than customizing a closet? He could have worn a beret!

The outside stairwell and master suite

Normally I can't stand posters or signs that say things in your home (think: keep calm and carry on... gross) but this neon "Feelings" sign, seems to spit in the face of all the uplifting mantras that came before it, which really just speaks to my soul. Plus, it's neon. Holla!

The main lounge. Looks like I'll have to expand my staff so that we can keep these floors clean. I'll get the house manager right on that.

An internal stairwell

I do love how the eerie light interior juxtaposes with the obnoxiously graphic exterior and, despite their differences, the two totally work together. There's really only one word that can describe this sailing masterpiece: