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What I Learned at SXSW 2011

SX this year was an epic, traffic jammed affair. We stood in lines too long, walked too far, and drank way too much beer. My hair is a tangled beehive of dried out straw and my head is still stuffed full of cotton batting, but I have survived to bring you this year’s report. Let’s do this.

#1. Toro Y Moi is preparing to take over the world. If you don’t already have the latest album, go buy it. Now. These kids are a funked up MGMT and they’re good. Also, I have no idea what’s in his mouth.

#2. Fader sucks balls. I will never stand in a line this long to attend a show where the bar closes before the last act takes the stage ever again. PS: that’s not even half of the line.

#3. The Smith Westerns are assholes, but they’re cute assholes. Most of this band isn’t even old enough to drink, so I’m inclined to give them a pass… for now. Weren’t you a jerk when you were 19? Aren’t you lovely and refined now? Plus they have really pretty hair and they rock. This song is from their old album, but it brought down the house at the DeVille.

#4. Short shorts really aren’t that flattering. The glaring Texas sun is not kind to our thighs, ladies — not even if you’re lucky enough to be super skinny. I don’t think we need any pictures to illustrate this point, do we? Let’s just agree that we don’t and move on.

#5. If you don’t have these shoes, you may be the only one left in the world. They look pretty cute with dresses, actually.

#6. This is coming back. I do not approve.

#7. Avoid the big buzz shows like the plague. I’m so glad I didn’t brave a crowd 25,000 people strong to see The Strokes’ free show. By all accounts, it was a tramplefest of sprained ankles and bruises. Hell no, I won’t go.

#8. Wanda Jackson is the Queen of Rockabilly. Most of the bands we saw were fronted by 20 year olds, but age and experience have their place, too. Her new album was produced by Jack White, and it’s a bold offering from a lady with gravitas purring from every note of her gravelly voice.

I should probably come up with numbers 9 and 10, but I’m too tired and hungover. If you were there, feel free to leave a comment with your suggestions.

Sleep now, back tomorrow with some interesting new developments in the real estate saga…

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