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My Mind is Officially Blown

It’s official.  I can completely and totally stop perusing the internet for any more art or design.  It’s all over.  My mind has been blown and there’s no topping it or going back.

Are you sitting down?  Seriously.  Get ready for me to tell you what’s happening here:

So, here’s the deal:  Cuban photographer Abelardo Morell creates these images ON WALLS via a little process you may have heard of called camera obscura.  Ok ok, backing up:  Morell blacks out the windows of rooms then cuts a small hole in the fabric he’s used to shut out all the light.  That pinhole is used to expose the window’s view onto the opposing wall.  He then takes a picture of the projection using a large format camera.  The film often takes up to 10 hours to expose.  Yeah.  It’s bananas.  I don’t even know if people say that anymore but I feel it’s appropriate here.

Ok.  So I might maybe not shut down the blog tomorrow, but it’s going to be a long long time before I stumble upon something this mind-blowingly good again.

UM, PS. How amazing are the views from each of those rooms, by the way?

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Woodn’t this be a great title for a post about Wood

Sorry about that title.  I just wasted 5 mintues of my life googling clever sayings and song titles with the word wood in them.  My bucket list is really coming along nicely.  Not.  I do not have a bucket list and if I did I would come up with a better name for it.  Even if it meant I had to spend TEN minutes googling clever sayings and song titles.  What does all this have to do with today’s post?  Nothing, except those are all words that you are reading in today’s post.  capiche?

Anyway, today I’m showing you (an even number of rooms crazy erin) with wood in them.  why?  because my house is finally looking like it may be close to done and there’s not really much wood anywhere so of course all I want now is wood and I want to redo my house.  Let’s do this:

And boom goes the dynamite.  I know I’m giving away Christmas right out of the gate with this one but who can resist.  It’s magically unstoppable.  I want to eat fancy reconfigurations of comfort food at this table until my head explodes.  Note, it will explode from laughter because I will probably be hanging out with some really funny people.

After my hilarity laugh riot meal of ecstasy I will climb these stairs to burn off all those calories.  ha ha no i won’t.  I will turn and look at these stairs and think about what a genius i was for building them.*

*i did not build these stairs.  Please do not write and ask me how i did it.**

**some people actually write and ask us dumb shit like this.  can you believe it?

This perfect potty belongs to furniture designer J.B. Blunk.  He, unlike me with the stairs, carved that sink out of redwood.  Write him and ask your goofy questions, weirdos.

This is old and I don’t know what it is but i do know that it is awesome.  I do have an obsessive blog partner who can probably tell you who’s house this is, when it was built and how long, down to the minute, they took to furnish it.  You can write her too, she loves mail.

picture 1, picture 2, picture 3, picture 4 is unknown source

P.S. I would like to note that 99% of you who write us are awesome and amazing, please don’t take offense to this post.  But there is the 1% out there who will email us with questions like “how did you make that couch” without 1.  letting me know which couch they are talking about and 2. realizing that I am not, in fact, a couch maker.   99%, keep it coming. Love and kisses

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This Is My Post For Today So There

So, I’m 4 weeks in to my return to blog land and I have yet to venture outside of our own blog for real inspiration.  Let us quickly recall such posts as the one about my coffee table, and the one about my brother’s coffee table, and the one about the other coffee table that was so large that it was actually a 10-story tree house.  Something about this full time job slash full time mom gig keeps my leash short but when erin posted these psychedelic pics Monday I immediately craved an entire life shift into a home with small rooms that I could cover surface to surface with insane contrasting pattern.  And a naked lady needlepoint pillow.

I stumbled upon the wallpaper company jannelli e volpi, which apparently is super famous and I’m supposed to have known about it but whatever.  Anyway, it looks like a few of their offerings will get me started on my knew psycho house fantasy.

Hell to the yes to the super saturated prisma color floral paper.  On the ceiling?  Yes, fine.

The more subtle little sister.  For the laundry room perhaps?

And lest we forget that they also do floors.  I’m seeing this in the garage.  Matt’s not going to be allowed in there anymore.  It will be where I park some expensive black car like a Rolls Royce or some crap.

Oh, wait, did I forget to mention that they make this RGB wallpaper?  Oh geeze, I really didn’t mean to make you wait for the most badass wall covering of all time.  Sorry guys.  So yeah, this paper is made from 3 overlapping designs, one entirely in blue, one in green and one in… you guessed it… red.  It rocks my face off so no bad comments.

Here it is from another angle.  You’re welcome.

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Blast from the Past

Last week when I posted this new top-ten pad I started thinking about the various spaces we’ve written about in the TWO PLUS years since design crisis hit the interwebs.  The very first place that always pops into my head is the one featured below.  I’ve reposted the post today. (look it was from November of 2008 and only 3 of you have been reading this blog that long)

Originally I was obsessed with the mural in the opening picture, but whenever I think about this space now I always fantasize about the wood paneled walls.  Anyhow, let’s take a look back at the days when I only had 2 cats, thought Missoni chevron was the bees knees, and I hadn’t been pregnant for 41 weeks straight.  Enjoy!

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Good morning, good morning! What a wonderful Monday it is thanks to Raina who sent me this insane article from W magazine. After months of loyal readership she has managed to pinpoint, with laser-like accuracy, exactly what mama likes: obscene use of color? Check. Artwork run wild? Check. Garish accessories, interesting use of materials and a view to boot? Check, check, and check. Behold:

You may be wondering if I could actually wake up every morning to such a full-blown-hyper-color attack on my retinas. The answer is: yep, you bet your sweet ass I can. Did you get a load of those dogs? If I thought my pets would still come snuggle up to me at night, Laser and Magnus would be in neon lampshades faster than you could say holy good lord that’s hot.

Let’s talk about what’s going on here: Blessed owners Tobias Meyer (ahem, head of Sotheby’s worldwide contemporary art) and Mark Fletcher pose in front of mural by Brazilian artist Assume Vivid Astro Focus. A John Currin oil is perched above a French 1740s kingwood commode. Commode! Who owns one of those? Jeeze.

These dudes had me at hello, but I’m sure, like me, you’re dying (dying!) for more:

The only dream-shatterer here is the mural on the ceiling, I’m not 100% on that. But really, don’t you all just want to curl up in a little ball next to that pillar while hugging the Missoni pillow, thanking whatever god you believe in that you’re alive? Holy Crap my mind is going to explode!

Time for us all to hyperventilate in tandem:

Andy Warhol gun + LIGHT UP DOLLAR SIGN + a naked man that Nagal would have painted if he’d painted men? It’s just TOO GOOD! Here’s what the owner’s had to say:

Everything is about the reality of it all, about the human condition and facing death. Art right now is about desire, human nature, sexuality, power and violence.

These men are spending life inside a living, breathing piece of art. And I want to strangle them for it.

Kleenex time!

Plywood befriends the trippy Stark carpet while a diptych from Matthew Barney’s Cremaster series hangs above a German 1760 gilt-wood console. The whole kitten-kaboodle is topped by German rococo ormolu candelabra (MATTHEW BARNEY!!! what is this? The freakin Guggenheim?)

The owner’s note that they enjoy using low-grade materials in the design as there is “a hopefullness to it’s unfinished quality.” Um, right. Keep talkin, buddy. Now, don’t get me wrong, j’adore la plywood, but if I even consider putting that moldy old board next to my plethora of craigslist finds, it will be all over. I think it’s important to note the power of context here, with a side note that I, despite my delusions of grandure, am not the head of the world’s premier art auction house.

To wrap it all up, let’s take a look at the window I may or may not have to jump out of:

Do you see the dollar sign reflection? Doesn’t it just make your heart sing? You can all send your thank you notes for providing such a majestic kick off to your week to me at godsend@design-crisis.com*.

*not a real email address, but it should be, huh?

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Erin Knows Me

This morning I woke up to a precious gift in my inbox:  Erin sent me a link to one of my new dream houses.  This is a sign of several things 1.  Erin knows me pretty dang well 2.  Erin is slowly making her way back to the interwebs which means that 3.  Hopefully she’ll be taking over for me soon and 4.  You get to see great pictures today.  Let’s do this:

Designed and occupied by Guilherme Torres, this living room fulfills my every last fantasy.  The only thing I would change is the chandelier.  I would replace it with this one.

Hello ceiling!

(ps, what’s up with the tiny fan up there?  It will go the way of the light as soon as I move in, promise)

Chair: stays

G:  replaced with either a K or an M or one other letter that I can’t reveal to you just yet

No to the toys, yes to the texture created by the conduit.  I will also be replacing that spread with something a bit more cheerful.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still loving this place

I displayed this one XXL so you could get a full frontal of those walls.  I think I need to make this happen somewhere… you know I have my own kitchen to remodel.

I would let Erin stay here when she visits, just for being so kind as to send me this link.

Thanks Erin!  And happy weekend bros!!

xo, K

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