Good morning, Monday! Thankfully I am ignoring your lame ass by vacationing with my good buddy Shohreh, who’s down from the Big D to show Austin who’s boss. Should I hang my head in shame and apologize to all you fine readers out there, feeling more than a wee twinge of guilt because I know you’re busy rubbing the sleep from your eyes while typing away on coffee stained keyboards, or should we all go on a vacation together? I think I know the answer to that “question,” so let’s get going on our fantastic voyage. Next stop: Milan. Who’s with me?
The five star Boscolo Excedra Hotel, should meet our needs, right? It’s just a humble little establishment of 154 rooms, but I think we can make do.
Ok, so the Boscolo’s custom made Meritalia furniture, 4,000 led lights, and Gio Ponti-esque design, make a drag queen look demure, but since we’re hoofing it all the way to Milan, I figured we should go for broke.
Silly me, did I neglect to tell you about the ginormous harlequin sculpture in the middle of the hotel? Well, it is easy to overlook, but I know how much you love a good carnival, so I thought I should mention it.
So here’s the plan: after we check in, we head up to our rooms to check out the accomodations.
It looks flea free — I think we can make do.
Then we head to the spa to unwind after our long trip. I say Marco! you say Polo! Whatever, you can’t hide for long with all those mirrors keeping tabs.
Oh look, there’s a champagne bar beside the pool… tank up, ladies (and gents), it’s going to be a long night. Be sure to check your reflection in the Tom Dixon pendants for cute hair and lipgloss on your way out.
Downstairs we’ll dine on Italian delicacies… and more booze.
Wheeeeeeeee, riding the merry go round is fun! Wait? That’s not a ride? I could have sworn it was moving.
I suppose we could retire to our rooms to sleep off the booze, but let’s not kid ourselves — sleeping is for old people.
The night is young, and who knows what it will bring? No, really… what will it bring? Apparently the Boscolo urges you to leave with a lasting souvenir of your stay.
It’s ok. I won’t judge.