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I (Don’t) Know What Boys Like

It’s been an eventful, loooooooooong weekend at Casa Erin. Our brand new cast iron sink arrived shattered in pieces, my in laws came to assemble cabinets and sew seat covers for us (yay!), and we found out that we’re having a boy. Oh, boy! Now, somehow — despite my initial instincts — I had convinced myself I was having a girl, so this was a little shocker. And I hope you won’t think I’m a terrible person for saying this, but it’s kind of scary. I mean, I know what girls like. We like unicorns and rainbows, purple and pink, and we like glitter. Sparkles rule! But growing up with two brothers has taught me little about boys, except that the rubber wheels on Tonka trucks get excellent traction in long hair, and being drenched by a bucket of cold water is not a nice way to wake up in the morning.

Decor for boys? Complete mystery.

For months I have been stuffing the guest room/nursery with thrifty toys, snippets and remnants from other projects, hoping the whole mixture will magically congeal into a happy baby wonderland. Now, I’m confused. Really confused.

baby deer

Will he appreciate my fondness for precious baby deer, other than to one day see them as dinner?

deer pillow

My dad is seriously going to jump straight out of his Carhart pants when he realizes we’re having a boy. He’s already got plans to buy baby hunting outfits and tiny rifles. I don’t suppose they make pink camo?

pillow

And I’m guessing my frilly scalloped pillow shams with mystery messages (anyone speak Vietnamese?) will have to go. I think boys like dragons, but I don’t think they like ruffles… unless I get really lucky and have a baby Miles Redd.

lion nursery

Maybe my favorite vintage piggy bank will make the cut. But I don’t know about these guys:

creepy clowns

I think that coulrophobia is probably gender neutral. The little guy is actually pretty cute, but the fleshy one looks like he hasn’t shaved for days and may be hiding a bottle of ripple behind his back.

marbro lamp

I wonder if my own little guy will appreciate the stellar deal I got on this gigantic Seguso for Marbro lamp ($25 at a thrift store). Or will it just end up all broken pearlescent glass, smashed into a hot mess by an epic Big Wheels accident?

Anybody want to buy a lamp?

furby

Will he be soothed by the sounds of my Furby, or will he attack it with a hammer, ostensibly to figure out where the sounds come from? Not that I’ve ever seen one of my precious, precocious brothers do such a thing… (RIP, Happy Apple)

stuffed animals

I’ve been saving these since I was a teenager. Surely everyone loves monkeys and Pikachu? And Kermit? No one likes Miss Piggy, not even girls.

books

books

When he’s older, will he enjoy the books I have so conscientiously selected for guests? Perhaps I should warn him that some are much better than others.

Or maybe it’s best that he find out on his own.

While I struggle with tiny, inconsequential matters — like how to raise a boy when I myself am completely wang-free — I thought I’d ask you wonderful readers for ideas on how to decorate the nursery. Here’s a few overview images to set the stage:

nursery

nursery

nursery

Don’t mind the rolled up carpet and stacked piles of art in the corner; renovations have caused a fair amount of deco shuffling. We’d like to keep the bed and dresser in here, but I was thinking about moving the tall chest into the closet and putting this crib in this corner, so I can easily see it from the door.

This is the only room in the house that still retains its original band-aid beige wall paint (just say no to flesh toned paint!!!), so I definitely plan to paint over it. I was thinking of doing pale gray with black on the window wall, but now I’m thinking of gray all over and painting a colorful super graphic on the wall opposite the bed. I love this post that Molly over at Designer’s Brew did for a chill, gender neutral baby room. How would pale gray, aqua, tangerine, and maybe a hint of tomato red look together? Plus black, white and gold as neutrals.

Don’t worry — I will be editing the accessories. Severely. (If you live in Austin, stay tuned for garage sale info!) But, if I can, I think I’d like to keep this guy in the room:

tiger

He might just make up for losing the deer.

Ok, readers — especially those of you with boys — any sage decorating advice for a first time, shell shocked, mother to be?

And for everyone who perishes the thought of decorating a nursery, not to fear! I’ll be back on Thursday with expert paint advice in our very first Ask Sanders column.

But, wouldn’t you know it — all the rooms will be blue.

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