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Bathroom Bling

What better to repost on Christmas than a diamond encrusted toilet and a dancing Miles Redd dressed as Fred Astaire? These are a few of your favorite things, right?

In honor of Karly’s solid gold bathroom, may it rest in peace, I present to you an array of scintillating bathroom selections, a panoply of golden goodness, a display of dazzling diamond denizens so fine and blinding you may need sunglasses lest your retinas pay the ultimate price. Although, honestly, I’d rather my retinas than my wallet pay for this:

diamond toilet

Yes, the diamond encrusted toilet from designer Jemal Wright goes for the low low price of $75,000. Yet, despite its obvious glamor, I don’t really know that I need my latrine to be encrusted… it sounds unsanitary.

Let’s face it. In today’s world of luxury and commodity, hygiene is commonplace. We’ve really got to elevate the bathroom into a space worthy of our capitalist desires. Enter Lam Sai-Wing, Hong Kong jewelry mogul, and his palatial estate replete with a 24-karat solid gold bathroom:

gold bathroom

Apparently he recently started melting it down and selling it off because the global economy is, quite frankly, crap, and now gold is crazy valuable. Thus his golden sink is worth a goose or two. But he says he’s keeping the toilet no matter what, and I can’t really blame him. It seems warm and oh so soft when compared to cold hard porcelain. Do you think they make gold potty paint? Can you imagine what my dear hunny bunny would say about that?

I bet he would like these diamond encrusted faucets; he’s such a sucker for gadgets. No, a toilet does not qualify as a gadget.

diamond faucet

Maybe it’s just the marketing and slick photography, but I can totally envision these gleaming white gold faucets in my house. You know, right next to the mountain of diamonds I keep on my bathroom sink. Oh wait, this line of bathroom accessories is “strictly for those with the taste and means to enjoy such an exclusive pleasure.” Guess I’ll just take my bucket of lime and head to the outhouse — but not without my roll of colored toilet paper from Spanish Portuguese supercompany Renova. It’s only four times as expensive as regular old Charmin, but it comes in always stylish black.

renova toilet paper

Ahhhhh, that should leave me feeling fresh as a daisy, maybe even singing in the rain Fred Astaire-style like my favorite buddy Miles Redd in his most amazing mirrored bathroom, which was featured in Avenue Magazine:

miles redd

Now that is the bathroom I want! But is the top hat included?

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