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How Many Canes is Too Many?

Lately my thoughts on design have been filled with more questions than answers:  Should i go with 2 small or one large coffee table?  Box-up, display, or hock the knickknacks I’ve been carting around for years?  And, most importantly, when to say when with a teddy bear colletion:

Psst, I’m pretty sure the answer is one.  Or a million.  Shit I don’t even know.  I kinda sorta like how 80 gazillion raggedy bears create a textural, bizarre landscape in this otherwise simple space.  But then again, they’re teddy bears.  And then we must consider that they are in the same home as these displays:

Someone likes collections.  On one hand I appreciate the restraint with which all these groupings are displayed.  Despite the fact that Mr. Homeowner also owns 452 canes and 347 magazines (my figures) the place is still pretty spiffy and looks nothing like the vintage shops most collector’s homes resemble.  But, then again, these are canes and bears we’re talking about here.

And glasses, let’s not forget that we need 18 thousand glasses.  I saw a wide shot of this room and that cupboard is like 90 feet high, this is only a third of the glassware.  That bird is like head level to me if that helps put it into perspective.  Why not 4,000 birds you ask?  Fear not

For there are at least 782 quail on the premises.  And, if my design logic is correct these puppies are smack-dab behind teddy bear alley.

But, then again there is this Jesus on the Cross right below a fossilized fish, so there’s that.

What do you say?  Are 433 canes appropriate?  Should I keep all those stupid knickknacks of mine?  And what about the double / single coffee table dilemma?  Sorry, you get no visual on that.  Go with your gut.

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Emerald City

You guys know that I could never paint a color bolder than gray on any of my walls but that doesn’t negate my burning desire to hang out in rooms with some seriously bold color.  Right now I’m being seduced by these moody emerald walls.  Emerald?  I know, go figure.

Twig Hutchinson

Now I’m not going to let a pesky little detail like my current inability to sit on that couch stop me from digging this room.  As soon as the little bambino pops out I can roll all over that yellow beauty.

Zownir Locations

Hmmm, this yellow and emerald combo looks familiar, but that couch is decidedly more practical given my current condition.

Sunset

In person:  could be awesome, could be scary.  I just don’t know.  I hope the towel is clean.

VT Wonen

Kinda emerald, right?

Diane Von Furstenberg

And if, like me, you can’t paint your walls green and, unlike me, you have a gragillion dollars, you can add the sexiest accessory known to mankind to your room via this Dian Von Furstenburg rug.  Psst, I found this over at If the lampshade fits and have been dreaming of it ever since.  Think I can sneak it onto my baby registry?

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Choose Your Own Adventure

Quick!  Let’s list off some of the things I love:  animal furniture, groovy sculptures, anything gold, pretty pieces of furniture, well organized spaces, animals, animals, animals.  I think that’s all.

So, what happens when you take all of those things (minus the gold) and roll them into one?  Karly is in heaven

Choose Your Own Adventure cabinet by Misha Kahn

Designed to hold all the goodies strewn about his floor, the CYOA cabinet is what dreams are made of, people.

See how messy life is without it

and now everything is so neatly put away.  Tada.

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Fish Are Not Decoration

The New York Times is running an article online about extravagant fish tanks: $200,000 tanks with $1000 monthly maintenance fees.  What I find particularly jaw dropping about the story isn’t the cost of the homeowner’s decor, it’s the fact that the homeowners consider fish decor in the first place.

Fish are animals.  They do not belong in little glass boxes and they do not exist to decorate your room or to amuse you.  They are living creatures.  And seriously, before I get a bunch of hate comments (I’m not changing my mind) yes, yes it is different from having a cat or a dog, both of which are allowed outside to roam and coexist in a mutually beneficial relationship of companionship with their care givers.  I do not own a cat so that my living room looks prettier.  In fact, my cats make my space look much worse, but I love them more than my things so I manage.

(sorry for the long disclaimer, I just really don’t want to fend off hate comments today.)

The designers interviewed in the article note that aquariums answer the age old questions: “How do you humanize this space, how do you introduce natural elements? How do you make it feel like you’re not standing in a white, pristine, soul-less box?”

8 fish swimming endlessly around 2 rocks doesn’t feel soulful to me.  Fail.

The owners of this 6,000 pound, $200,000 suspended tank “get lost in it” at night rather than the television set.  I’m so so glad that nature’s creatures are able to provide you with endless entertainment.

It is noted that the owner’s of this tank’s other point of pride in their home is the tanning bed in the basement.  Need I say more?

Ok, really, I’m sure there are lots of people who will disagree with me today.  I’m sure several of you have aquariums and love your fishies and I’m sure you make great homes for them.  And, no, they are not being hunted and eaten.  I know there are several sides to the fish-in-home debate, and I could probably be persuaded to accept several of the gray areas, but the bottom line is that fish as decor creeps me out.  Please try not to get too hatey today.  Besides, this whole look is really 80s, and not in a good way.  xoxo

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