Redesigned Ditties: I Want A New Rug

I want a new rug

One that won't make me sick

One that won't make me spend so hard

I think a Persian might do the trick

I want a new rug

One I hope won't shed

One that really catches the eye

One that just might be red

One that won't make me nervous

Wondering what to do

One that makes me feel like it's a great value

Like it's a great value

I want a new rug

One that won't pill

One that won't cost too much

Or increase the bills

One that won't make me nervous

Wondering what to do

One that makes me feel like it's a great value

Like it's a great value

I want a new rug

One that won't go away

One that won't make Ben put up a fight

When I say that it's got to stay

One that won't make me nervous

Wondering what to do

One that makes me feel like it's a great value

Like it's a great value

I want a new rug

One that does what it should

One that doesn't make me feel too bad

One that does makes me feel oh so good

I want a new rug

One with no doubt

One that won't cost a lot

Or make the bank freak out

One that won't make me nervous

Wondering what to do

One that makes me feel like it's a great value

Like it's a great value

Like it's a great value

Oh yeah, great value

Redesigned Ditties: Sectional Seduction

I'm gonna take my time

I'm not gonna rush to buy

I'm gonna take it slow

I can't spend out of control

sectionals roche bobois

So we can get a sectional seduction

So I can get a sectional seduction

So we can get a sectional seduction

Sectional seduction

sectionals

It might be high priced

But it's all about me, me, me

Just can't buy from the mall

I don't want to get fleeced, fleeced, fleeced

sectionals cappellini

And all that I'll ever do is lounge on her seat, seat, seat

And watch HDTV

And go back to sleep, sleep, sleep

sectionals

Cause I done got a Sectional seduction

Sectional seduction Sectional seduction

Sectional seduction

sectionals

I'm gonna take my time

I'm not gonna rush to buy

I'm gonna take it slow

I can't spend out of control

sectionals

If you don't know by now

Erin Dogg is a freak, freak, freak

I keep a hot couch with me

Seven days out of the week, week, week

sectionals

And all that I'll ever do is lounge on her seat, seat, seat

And watch HDTV

And go back to sleep, sleep, sleep

sectionals

Cause I done got a Sectional seduction

Sectional seduction

Sectional seduction

Sectional seduction

sectionals

I was up in the store havin' a look, loungin' all sweet

When I peeped this little freak out

I was all on the sale when Togo corner couch came out

Then she hit the floor, now

sectionals togo

With a low pitched seat, leather, bright white style

Lookin' good enough to eat

And a playa know if I take her home

With that real soft squish, you so right I'm gon' sleep

sectionals

So I approached the sofa I liked the most

Nice curves on her with some hot lil pillows

I whispered in her ear, "Lil momma, what you cost?

I know that you're not cheap but for sure I ain't gon' say no"

sectionals

My new couch is outrageous

We got into the crib and exchanged some love faces

And even though Hunny knows it cost a ton

Now he wants to buy me a matching one

sectionals de sede

Sectional seduction

Sectional seduction

Sectional seduction

Sectional seduction

(all the time, any time)

snoop dogg

Click to play the original song. I dare you not to think about couches.

(Sources: 1. Roche Bobois 2. Karl Anderson 3. Cappellini 4. Richard Powers 5. Living Etc 6. Shoot Factory 7. Ligne Roset 8. Elle Decor 9. Met Home 10. Ligne Roset 11. Light Locations 12. Met Home 13. De Sede)