Crystal Blue Oasis

Why hello homies, I’m back from Hawaii and still rubbing the sand out of my eyes — both literally and figuratively. It’s Monday, I have a major case of jet lag, Ike started his first day of school today (sniff), and this week is already trying to crush my soul, but I won’t let it win. I plan to bust a cap in Monday’s ass by treating you to some pics of a fabulous estate where my mom may or may not be getting married…. well, she’s getting married fo sho, she’s just not sure if this is the place. I think she needs a nudge, so let’s help her decide, ok?

Yeah, I know — super shitty location. But we’ll try to make do.

Is it wrong of me to be so easily persuaded by fire?

I don’t need an arrow to point the way to the ocean, do I?

Did you know that none of the beaches on Hawaii are private, and therefore a homeless bum could at any time waltz up the beach to wreck your wedding? Somehow I don’t think that would be a problem here.

Plus there is a super fancy pool, so who cares about the stinky beach anyway?

After five years of living in Hawaii, I might be a bit jaded. But I’m pretty sure this place is still good enough to host my mom’s fancy wedding.

What do you think?

Also, in your face, Monday!