Oh, my, god. Becky, look at that art.
It is so big. It looks like,
one of those abstract expressionists.
But, you know, who understands those art guys?
They only paint things, because,
they were like total alkies, ‘kay?
I mean, that art, is just so big.
I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like,
out there!

I mean – whoa. Look!
It’s just so … black!

I like big art and I can not lie
You other sistas can’t deny
That when a big paintin’ hangs in an itty bitty place
With that color all in your face
You get sprung, wanna write out a check
Cause you’re a lusty wanton wreck

This art ain’t made for sharing
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring

Oh canvas, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My accountant tried to warn me
But that shape you got makes me so horny

Ooh, Rump-o’-smooth-stroke
Been thinking about you since I woke
Well, come home, please me
‘Cause you ain’t an average new piece

I’ve seen small paintings
To hell with all them things

You’re a net asset,
Got me goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette

I’m tired of magazines
Sayin’ gallery walls are the thing
Take the average woman and ask her that
Art gotta pack much back

So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah!)
Does that painting match the carpet? (Hell yeah!)
Then just take it! (Take it!) Take it! (Take it!)
Trust your inner gut!

Baby got back!

[Nuevo Estilo, Miles Redd, Gary Hutton, Alex Katz, Marilyn Minter, Robert Motherwell, Pamplemousse, Elle Decor, OWI]

She’s got legs, she knows how to use them
Hot for turned legs, I can’t stop cruisin’ them
So good it’s no wonder someone made them

Would you get five of them if you could only find them
From victorian, to the fifties
Vintage shines bright

She’s walnut down to her nails
She’s got burl wood right up to her dovetail
Every time I’m plannin’ to put her to use

Everybody comes to me, to see if they can mooch
She’s so fine, she’s all mine
Go get your own tonight

She’s got legs, she knows how to use them
Hot for turned legs, I can’t stop cruising them
Cost more than a dime plus half of my mind

Stayed out all night thriftin’ through time
Oh, I want her, said I got to have her

That chair is all right, she’s all right

Click to play the original version.

[Marie Olsson Nylander, Darryl carter, Babington Hotel, Skona Hem, Jessica Helgerson, Desire to Inspire]

Once I had a love and you know it was brass

Soon turned out, had a heart of glass

You know I love gold bling, but now I find

It’s not enough

I need more shine

Once I had a love and it was divine

Soon found out I lusted after light

It seemed like the real thing cuz brass is so bright

It’s not enough

I need more shine

In between “what I find is pleasing” and “I’m feeling fine”

Love is so confusing

There’s no need, I find

To choose between the two

Glass is just so good, it’s changed my point of view

Lost inside this illumination and I love the light

It’s the thing I’m wanting, it just feels so right

I could even live with chrome, yeah…

Yeah, riding high on love’s true vintage light

Ooh ooh ooh whoa

Once I had a love and you know it was brass

Soon turned out, had a heart of glass

You know I love gold bling, but now I find

It’s not enough

I need more shine

Ooh ooh whoa

Ooh ooh whoa

Ooh ooh whooooooooa

I want a new rug

One that won’t make me sick

One that won’t make me spend so hard

I think a Persian might do the trick

I want a new rug

One I hope won’t shed

One that really catches the eye

One that just might be red

One that won’t make me nervous

Wondering what to do

One that makes me feel like it’s a great value

Like it’s a great value

I want a new rug

One that won’t pill

One that won’t cost too much

Or increase the bills

One that won’t make me nervous

Wondering what to do

One that makes me feel like it’s a great value

Like it’s a great value

I want a new rug

One that won’t go away

One that won’t make Ben put up a fight

When I say that it’s got to stay

One that won’t make me nervous

Wondering what to do

One that makes me feel like it’s a great value

Like it’s a great value

I want a new rug

One that does what it should

One that doesn’t make me feel too bad

One that does makes me feel oh so good

I want a new rug

One with no doubt

One that won’t cost a lot

Or make the bank freak out

One that won’t make me nervous

Wondering what to do

One that makes me feel like it’s a great value

Like it’s a great value

Like it’s a great value

Oh yeah, great value

I’m gonna take my time
I’m not gonna rush to buy
I’m gonna take it slow
I can’t spend out of control

So we can get a sectional seduction
So I can get a sectional seduction
So we can get a sectional seduction
Sectional seduction

It might be high priced
But it’s all about me, me, me
Just can’t buy from the mall
I don’t want to get fleeced, fleeced, fleeced

And all that I’ll ever do
is lounge on her seat, seat, seat
And watch HDTV
And go back to sleep, sleep, sleep

Cause I done got a
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction

I’m gonna take my time
I’m not gonna rush to buy
I’m gonna take it slow
I can’t spend out of control

If you don’t know by now
Erin Dogg is a freak, freak, freak
I keep a hot couch with me
Seven days out of the week, week, week

And all that I’ll ever do
is lounge on her seat, seat, seat
And watch HDTV
And go back to sleep, sleep, sleep

Cause I done got a
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction

I was up in the store havin’ a look, loungin’ all sweet
When I peeped this little freak out
I was all on the sale when Togo corner couch came out
Then she hit the floor, now

With a low pitched seat, leather, bright white style
Lookin’ good enough to eat
And a playa know if I take her home
With that real soft squish, you so right I’m gon’ sleep

So I approached the sofa I liked the most
Nice curves on her with some hot lil pillows
I whispered in her ear, “Lil momma, what you cost?
I know that you’re not cheap
but for sure I ain’t gon’ say no”

My new couch is outrageous
We got into the crib and exchanged some love faces
And even though Hunny knows it cost a ton
Now he wants to buy me a matching one

Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction (all the time, any time)

Click to play the original song. I dare you not to think about couches.

(Sources: 1. Roche Bobois 2. Karl Anderson 3. Cappellini 4. Richard Powers 5. Living Etc 6. Shoot Factory 7. Ligne Roset 8. Elle Decor 9. Met Home 10. Ligne Roset 11. Light Locations 12. Met Home 13. De Sede)