Right now my house is an absolute mess.  Totally and completely.  My refrigerator is empty too, which has forced me to live on a scrambled egg white and turkey bacon diet for the last few days.  Remedying both of these problems was at the top of my to-do list this weekend but you know what?  I didn’t do any of it.  Instead I spent the entire day Sunday watching movie marathons on tv and catching up on my crafting projects.  Regrets: zero; New pieces of artwork: 2.

This is a before and after post, so don’t be scared by this first picture:

I found this bandaid colored mess at the thrift store last Friday and was really digging all the pattern magic that was happening.  The flesh tones, not so much.  So I dug out my box of paints and paint brushes and grabbed a sharpie then went to town.  The results?

A brightly colored laser-light-show wonderland that isn’t nearly as blurry in real life as it is in this photo.  I know, I know, I’ve been laser light show crazy lately, but at least I put a new spin on this with the little black triangles scattered throughout.  It was a risk, but I think it paid off.

Here’s a closeup of my master work:

The polka dots weren’t here before, either.  I also added the red, blue, yellow and green because those were the only decent colors I could find.  Seriously, I don’t know where all my good paint ran off to.

I had such a grand ole time sprucing up the print, once I was done I decided to move on to the 3 dimensional project I’ve had on the docket for quite some time now.  I found this creepy madonna and child sculpture at a thrift store in Ft. Smith, Arkansas over Christmas break.  Having wanted to play laser party on a sculpture for a while now, I figured this was as good as any to start with.  One Tom Hanks movie later and here’s what I got:

I have to admit, I actually tried this project right after Christmas with decidedly different results.  I originally taped off all the areas I wanted to keep white then spray painted the exposed portions with black paint.  Despite my meticulous taping, you know that paint bled and it was yuckytown USA.

I repainted her white and started from scratch.  This time, I bought chartpak tape, a thin, high-gloss tape that comes in every color of the rainbow (even metallic gold!).  The lines you see here aren’t paint, they’re actually tape.  Once the chart-pac tape was applied, I sprayed her with clear-gloss spray paint to keep everything in place.  Here are more views:

And that is that.  Now I have to skeedaddle, these groceries aren’t going to buy themselves.

Every year I start off with a new laundry list of resolutions — eat better, exercise (ha!), make stuff, be cooler — but this year there’s only one resolution that really matters: LEAVE THE HOUSE. Yes friends, I am finally out of the Guantanamo Bay stage of parenthood and IT’S AWESOME. Baby Ike is now magically entertained by salt shakers and menus, and wouldn’t you know that mama’s boy loves a good bargain. Whew! Thank jeebus he takes after me and not his thriftphobic daddy, because then I’d have to check the return policy on both of them.

So, Karly and I took the Ikester out on thrift rounds recently, and I managed to score some great finds with my lucky charm in tow. In the spirit of my house sharing resolution, I snapped some pics so you could bask in the glory of my goodies, as well as in my delicious new freedom.

I almost had to scrap with some chick over my excellent new plant stand, which came from the Salvation Army for $25. Kinda steep, but it’s heavy and has a mirrored bottom, and the middle thingie moves. Plus someone else wanted it, so of course that made me like it even more. But it does look pretty smooth with my new tulip chair, which is in dire need of a cushion. One day at a time…

I totally had the Lichtenstein post in mind when I picked up this set of dishes, although Karly says they look like a Bill Cosby sweater… we can both be right, can’t we? $30 for the entire set, although I need more bowls. I found some replacements online, but two bowls cost as much as I paid for the entire set. Uh, no.

A closeup of the totally tubular 80s graphics. The Hunny stacked them all OCD like. I’m planning to display these babies on our newly installed kitchen shelves, which I was far too lazy to photograph today. What do you people expect??? I can’t shop, and take pictures, AND clean. Priorities, priorities.

I snagged this vintage teapot for $1.99. It’s marked Made in Sweden, which probably means it’s from Ikea. Still, he is very handsome, no?

Ike picked out a few things for his room, too, like this Red Cross lightbox for $4.99, which is brand spankin’ new. The hot gold lion came from Zid Zid, courtesy of Raina; Ike can look, but he can’t touch mama’s favorite stuffed animal. You can blame Karly for the boa constricted nightmare clown.

You can also blame Karly for spotting this badass giraffe head, a steal for only $4.99. Say what?! Yeah. It’s HUGE.

Speaking of huge, these roided out lamps make Lou Ferigno look positively diminutive. I’m planning to give them a fresh coat of white paint from tip to toe, and top them with black shades for my new Bauhaus bedroom. Hopefully my nightstands won’t buckle beneath them.

I scored some other sweet stuff, like a giant vintage painting and a ginormous mirrored picture frame (apparently I have contracted a severe case of megalomania), but I haven’t found a home for them yet — by which I mean they’re still stacked in the entryway. The Hunny is not excited that I’m back to shopping, not that I’m going to let it stop me from adding to the piles of unused lamps, chairs and frames I’m “collecting.”

Doesn’t he realize that I have six months of thrifting to catch up on?