Howdy kids, hope you all had a swell weekend! We spent the days doing yardwork and the nights eating and drinking yummy stuff, so it was mostly lovely and relaxing… and I am totally unprepared for the cold hard wall in my face that is Monday. Thank jeebus for Wallpaper Magazine, because they always have the most interesting spreads (when they aren’t showcasing 20 pages in a row of disgusting albeit beautifully photographed raw steaks… although maybe that also qualifies as interesting?). Anyway, look at this:

How about that Ligne Roset bed? Amazing! What’s that you say — something is obscuring your view of it? Oh yes. Giant taxidermied animals were obviously necessary to illustrate the hipster appeal of these fine furnishings.

That Jaime Hayon chair is certainly foxy, though.

If I only had 5 seconds to grab something out of this room, I’m not sure if I would yank the lamb away from gaping lupine jaws, or put that Herve Van Der Straeten console table under my coat and run for my ever loving life.

What do you think? Is Wallpaper too clever for its own good?

Or maybe just crazy like a fox?

Ho Ho Ho, we’re climbing the gift guide charts here at DC headquarters:  today we’ve made it to the under $500 category.  I’m hoping and preying that any of you taking notes have me on your list.  I mean, those $25 gifts were nice, but don’t you really want to show me how much you care?  As Erin says, recession-schmession.  At least, I think she’s said that.

You know I love gold.  and black.  and gold and black together.  So, basically, I’ll be happy when you hand me any of these:

Love / Hate Convertible Chain Shades, $252

Suspiciously similar to D & G DXG Camcorder, $150

Lowrider Headphones, $128 (keeping my fingers crossed that you can find them in black.  or just all gold.  yes, all gold sounds good)

Loop Candelabra, $123  (I’ve been dreaming of owning one of these ever since Erin did This post)

Right out of my personal wish list: Pantone Color Bridge Set, $119

Ceramic Bubbles Candle Holder by Jaime Hayon, 387….. Euros (whont, whont)

Life Size Grazing Sheep, $448  (totally, completely, 100% worth the price) (seriously)

Equus Pedestal Bowl, $450  I wanted it for my table last year and, yes, I want it for my table again this year.

Humbert Throw by Missoni Home, $375

Park Planters, $100  You really should go to their site to check these out… most of the sculptures depict things you don’t want to see in the park.  Think George Michael.  Got it?

Copenhagen Terrariums, $145 – $195  Perhaps these come with a handy guide explaining how to keep plants alive inside a sealed container unlike my vintage terrarium with, ahem, dead plants nestled under the plastic.

Braided Mixed Metal Chain Necklace, $120

Paper Cut art, $300

So there you go.  500 gifts for 500 dollars.  I mean, a few gifts for 500 dollars.  Whateves.  It really doesn’t even matter at this point since tomorrow I’ll be bringing you the ultimate, most mind blowing Christmas gift of your scene loving life.  Buckle Up.

Hey dudes, I’m not here. Well, I am… but I’m not. Come find me over at From the Right Bank, where I’m guest posting for Ally while she moves cross country to Hotlanta. Did I just type that?

Speaking of hotness, my guest post is about yummy checkerboard floors, like those found in this gorgeous restaurant designed by Jaime Hayon:

And speaking of yummy gorgeous hotness, I don’t think Raina would let me live without posting a picture of Senor Hayon, hisself:

Not too shabby babes, not too shabby.

Monday marks the start of our annual gift guide, so ya’ll come back now, you hear?

Happy weekend!

Today is the last day of the Spring Projects exhibition in London.  Designers Jaime Hayon and Nienke Klunder collaborated on American Chanteau, part of which included this:

Rocking Hotdog

Here’s another view:

Last time we saw a Hayon and Klunder colab, This is what we ended up with.  Did it get better this time?

Take the weekend, think about it.

Some of you may remember that my mother (Connie, for those of you who follow our comments) is undergoing an incredibly painstaking home renovation this winter.  Since she is overhauling her entire house she and my stepfather are being forced into the basement for 4 months (ha ha).  Don’t worry, though, the basement comes equipped with a window, a bathroom, a refrigerator and, most importantly, a wet bar.  The renovation hasn’t had much impact on me as I’m able to suffer through the torment of picking new tile from a safe distance of roughly 1,500 miles.  I have had the misfortune, however, of losing most of my office space to make room for boxes and boxes of family “heirlooms.”  Hey, after almost 50 years, and 3 generations of families, that basement has accumulated more than it’s fair share of crap-ola.  When my mother called me this weekend, going through more stuff, I wanted to hang up the phone and change my number, instead I allowed her to send pictures of the items I was to pick through:

I call this piece “meditation on cut glass.”  My grandmother’s love for cut glass was exceeded only by her affinity for rust and avocado, and for some reason, 21 years since her passing my mother still has it in her basement.  Those beautiful yellow linoleum counters are probably the youngest item in this photo.  Sad, sad.

I sifted through – oh, this is only the tip of the iceberg, i really spared you kids –  and picked my poison:  that bust statue, for example, was a keeper.  However, I probably would have been a more enthusiastic participant if my mother’s offerings had looked a bit more like this:

Jaime hayon has teamed up with Baccarat, designing his Crystal Candy series of whimsical vases that recently debuted at MAISON et OBJET.  Now, other than a sad fabric design commision for Bernhardt Design with disastrous results, this Spanish design superstar continues to prove that he really can do no wrong…minus the one time.  Let’s take a closer look:

Sorry I got a little carried away with the pictures there, I couldn’t pick a favorite.  Now, raise your hand if you think that this would have been a better selection for dear-ole-ma to share with me.  I mean, really, she didn’t even need that fancy backdrop from photo 1, I would have settled with this:

Of course, after her renovations are complete (will it ever end??!!) I expect to see something more like this:

Feeling overwhelmed, Ma?  Don’t worry, I dug up some sketches to get you started:

Ok, let’s see, a little cut here, some honeycomb pattern there, and, yes, a splash of red.  See ma, easy!  What else are you going to do while you’re hanging out at the bar in the basement?  You can’t cook in that easy bake oven I got you all the time. 

P.S. I would like to stage a preemptive strike:  No mothers are allowed to leave comments that allude to any of the following:

“I didn’t have to send you anything, I could have sent it all to (blank)”

“Fine, then I won’t bother asking your opinion on my tile selection anymore”

Or

“What easy bake oven?”

+++++

Update for Raina, why did I leave this one out before:

Good morning, kids and Happy New Year!!!  If you find yourself reading this through blood-shot eyes, I’m hoping it was one of the following picture perfect aperitifs that did you in:

Now, even though you may have left your house to ring in the new year that does not excuse you from being design-minded at all times.  No matter how many cocktails you may have imbibed, I pray to all things holy that you were never seen with an unsightly tall-boy and instead, had one of these:

1.  Champagne glasses by Michael Anastassiades (psst, check out the showcase section on his site)

2.  Champagne to go by formstark (do you think that will fit in my cup holder?)

3.  Inside Out Champagne Glasses designed by Alissia Melka-Teichroe available at The W Hotel Store

4.  Veuve Clicquot Globalight available at The W Hotel Store  I’m really not sure how this works (who has time to read pesky descriptions?) but I’m sure you would have been the bell of the ball had you been caught carrying it last night.

5.  Piper Heidsieck Champagne bucket and bowl designed by (are we getting sick of him yet?) Jaime Hayon

6.  Veuve Clicquot and Porsche designed Ice Cube (hopefully this comes in other colors, unless, of course, you have something to prove)

If you found yourself at a big-fat-open bar (lucky you) hopefully your hostess fully comprehended the importance of appearances and chose one of the above in a larger scale:

Piper Heidsieck champagne design by Jaime Hayon

Can you imagine the conference call where this little gem was thought up:

PH:  So, Jaime, you know that bucket and bowl you designed for us before?

JH:  No

PH:  Well, we’re worried that a few people may actually be able to afford it, so we’re going to need something a bit, um, bigger

JH:  You can’t pay me in champagne any more

PH: Right, anyway, we want it bigger. And with a lamp.

Ok, that was the stupidest imagined conversation ever.  But really, a lamp?

Moving on.  If you’re the type of person who completely overhauls your decor according to season, then you surely would have needed to impress your guests with this:

Veuve Clicquot Loveseat

Had you planned accordingly, your new years could have looked like this:

Don’t you love advertising?  These people really capture my lifestyle.

If you aren’t much of a drinker but still wanted to be in the Champagne-y new years spirit you could have jetted on over to London to enjoy this:

Portrait, Installation by designers Fredrikson Stallard for Veuve Clicquot.

I guess those lights are supposed to conjure up the image of champagne.  Pop Quiz:  How many of those lines do you see after a full bottle of bubbly?

And finally, if sparkling wine just ain’t boozy enough for you, I hope you tried these:

Cointreau Pearls infused with Strawberry and dropped in Champagne

um.  hells yes.

So, what the hell does all of this have to do with interior design?  Nothing really, but I’m sure after a few sips of today’s post, you may find the courage to paint your dining room that hot shade of electric pink you’ve been considering.

Remember when the holidays were fun and awesome and filled with toys? My brother and I were so freaking excited on Christmas Eve that we staged reconnaissance missions to determine the specific nature of our gifts piled high beneath the tree. One of us (not me) may or may not have gone a bit far by actually unwrapping said gifts and PEEKING beneath the wrapping paper. I’m sure my brother will be annoyed that I’m ratting him out, but dude — dad totally knows! It doesn’t take a forensics expert to recognize that grubby fingerprints on mangled tape = one excited little brother.

In an effort to recapture that sweet feeling of childish anticipation I am showering you with good time gifts today. Couldn’t we all use a little more fun in our lives?

How much better is a chocolate wrench than a metal one? A lot. Just try eating a metal wrench… gross! I’m not sure these would work on real nuts and bolts, but thankfully there are chocolate versions included in the set. Yes, chocolate nuts.

Speaking of yummy treats, who knew design could be so delicious? Check out this edible version of an iconic Eames house by chocolatier, Thomas Haas. You can even see the recipe here. By the way, how does one grow up to be a chocolatier? I feel like I missed my calling.

The design savvy would also enjoy unwrapping these designer dolls by Olivia Lee. Choose from Empress of Architecture: Zaha Hadid, King of Plastic: Karim Rashid, and Chief of Ceramic: Jaime Hayon. The dolls are supposed to caricature the designers’ personalities while also evoking the styles of their products. All I know is I always thought that Jaime is a cute and cuddly little dollypants.

I bet these Baby Cubs by Insurgent Wilderness Gruppo would satisfy your deep, dark bloodlust for adorable animal misfits. Eyeballs on a spit and blood spattered polar bear cubs, oh my! These dolls may be for grown up children only.

Remember how much cooler Nintendo was before the Wii? Just kidding… sort of. Get back to really basic with a lego rendering of Duckhunt. I love this inanimate tableau of lego taxidermy because those stupid ducks were hard to hit, what with their zigging and zagging. Can you tell I was never a gamer? If you can’t master Duckhunt, you’re kind of a loser.

If you have some extra legos left over after playing games, why not try to be a real champion? Whosoever can duplicate this bust of Freddie Mercury shall be bestowed with the title of Lego Queen (you, too, dudes).

Check out what this guy did with some blocks — made a space invaders cutting board! You can even buy a handmade version, which they repeatedly and vehemently warn is only hand washable. I have included an illustration to reinforce their point, and also to point out that homeboy has a Linux sign over his sink. Hubby would approve.

If you ever hoped and prayed to find a Red Ryder BB gun under the tree, maybe you’ll find this upgrade even more alluring. Hellz yes, that is a My Little Pony AR-15 with a purple night vision scope. Lucky Care Bear body armor sold separately.

You remember in The Christmas Story when Ralphie gets that big pink floppy eared bunny suit and, despite his abject misery, actually has to wear it? Don’t do that to your kids. Sure, you might think this pea green knitted Yoda hat is cute, but will they?

On the other hand, everyone wants a knitted digestive tract. Everyone.

You know what else everyone wants? This crazy cute Monster Skin Rug by Joshua Longo. You should take a look at some of his other toothsome, deranged creatures. I would have included them, but I decided this should be a special holiday family post. Except for the chocolate nuts.

The holidays are all about spreading the love, so don’t forget to include your furry friends in the gift giving process. Perhaps your feline would enjoy a collapsable cardboard Cat Playhouse. Obviously Clint is lovin’ every minute of it. Oh yeah. I think I would have some Christmas claw marks if I tried to shove my half feral little buddy down the hatch, but that’s just me.

Are you feeling the holiday sprit now? Feel like playing a game? Tell me about some of your favorite holiday presents and adventures. I live for your witty and incisive comments. No, really, I do.

When Karly and I went to the Round Top antiques fair last month, the most common sentences uttered between us were either, “If only it was a tenth of the price!” or “I just wish it was bigger.” At that moment I realized I had developed a severe case of megalomania, although (silly me!) I should have seen it coming a year ago. Sometimes I feel like I’m just stumbling around aimlessly in the world of design, being as I am just a lowly artist type, and it so often happens that I’m a bit slow to catch onto the latest trends. But methinks this one caught me unawares because I mistook it for art. But it’s not art. I don’t think.

Take, for instance, the work of Dutch design duo Studio Job:

Their dazzling white gold, mosaic-covered, Silver Ware series for Bisazza featured traditional tabletop pieces in monstrous proportions; the teapot alone is six feet tall (photos courtesy of Dezeen and The LA Times).

Yet, only a few years ago, according to the International Herald Tribune:

Studio Job was condemned by Dutch design critics for its disdain for function and for its self-indulgent symbolism. “It was horrible,” recalled [co-designer] Smeets. “We were accused of making bad art by the art world, and bad design by the design world.” Today they are being lauded, for exactly the same reasons, as the poster boy and girl of the new expressionism in design.

So caught between art and design — or let’s say concept and function — Studio Job occupies a nether region of functionless and lack of concept, wrapped up in a shiny package with a (very) high price tag.

But what’s the difference between Studio Job’s giant spoon:

And Claes Oldenburg’s giant spoon (photo from Minneapolis Sculpture Garden):

No, I don’t think the only difference is the cherry on top, but seriously no one disputes Oldenburg’s status as a “real” artist. Is it only because he thought of making things that are usually small really big first? (This sculpture was made in the mid 80′s, but he started making gigantical sculptures in the 60′s.) And he’s certainly not the only artist to make giant sculptures. Take the always colorful artist Jeff Koons, for example (via If It’s Hip, It’s Here):

I’m extremely distracted by the gorgeous background, but how is this giant balloon dog different from, say, designer Jaime Hayon‘s giant creepy doll thing (other than the difference in zeros on the respective price tags. Hint: artist Jeff Koons’ is exponentially more expensive):

Both sculptures are big and shiny, but could we say that Jeff Koons’ includes some kind of cultural critique of society, whereas Jaime Hayon’s does not? Maybe. I’d be interested to hear some of you super smart readers argue either side of that point.

What is it about epic proportions on everyday objects that make them so interesting, anyway?

Is there anyone who is not transfixed by this ridiculously ginormous rubber duckie? I didn’t think so. And no, it’s not photoshopped.

The design world definitely seems to have picked up on the “Bigger is Better” aspect of our culture, because big is REALLY BIG right now.

Marcel Wanders certainly looks pleased with his gargantuan “table” lamps. Of course, there’s no table in the world they could fit on… except maybe one of the silver “tea platters” by Studio Job, featured near the top of the post.

Perhaps he was just trying to one-up Philipe Starck’s design for the Parris Landing Condominiums?

Whatever the case, a relatively scaled down megalomania is wending its way through the homes of middle class consumers everywhere, as evidenced by this popular pad on Apartment Therapy:

How much do you love that giant screwdriver on the left??? It looks dangerous, which I am quite sure is the appeal for me. And check out the Mini-Me version of Starck’s giant light bulb. The surge of supersized objects doesn’t end there, though:

Even the typically refined anglepoise lamp — designed in the 40′s with smaller scaled homes in mind — has been pumped up by massive steroid injections. Unlike a scintillating six foot tall teapot, this lamp could fit right in to today’s McMansions. (photo on left via Desire to Inspire, photo on right via Apartment Therapy)

Another example of Design/Art’s (Des’Art?) trickle down economics:

Giant fork sculpture in Missouri via some guy’s Myspace evolves into giant fork wallpaper from Anthroplogie (pictures via Apartment Therapy):

Becomes giant fork in Mads Lauritzen‘s surrealist photograph. Because improper proportions are surreal.

For some reason giant cutlery is really popular right now, and that brings back painful memories of those huge wooden forks and spoons that everyone’s Mom had on the kitchen wall. Whatever you do people, please don’t go there.

I have to admit that I like some of the more practical supersized designs. There’s a big difference between Studio Jobs’s giant golden coffeepot dumping a stylized brown river of what I can only hope is coffee:

And these nifty giant golden hand chairs seen in the sweetly elfin Jonathan Adler and adorably scathing Simon Doonan’s house, which was featured in Met Home:

By the way, I’m sure Adler got his chairs from super chic antiques dealer Todd Merrill, but I’ve seen them in hideous colors for as little as $30 on Craigslist and Ebay. Gold spray paint anyone? Or white, even?

Whew, I’m tired from thinking so much today, and I really hope I haven’t worn you out too much to discuss exciting things like: art versus design, or the decline of western civilization, or whether all design will simply grind to a halt in the face of a deepening recession. Is megalomania bound to shrink in direct proportion to our shrinking economy?

In case the real question you want to answer is, “Why do I have to read this crap? I’m not in school anymore,” I have a present for you:

It’s a super cute, supersized bunny! And if you like it, you won’t click on this link to find out what happened to it.

About a month ago I promised you that I would spend the rest of my time as a design writer waxing poetic about Spanish design super star, Jaime Hayon.  Never in a million years did I ever ever foresee this post.  Let us start by reviewing a bit of his work thus far:

ok, so we’re all on the same page here:  this man is an insane design genius.  (counter clock-wise from top left: The Restaurant La Terraza del Casino, Swarovski cabinet and chandelier, Prive ceiling and Green Chicken).  Since 2004 he has been collaborating with Dutch photographer, Nienke Klunder. Klunder’s self portrait sequences genuinely leave me asking for more in a world otherwise completely overrun with photography series.  Ici:

From the Happiest Celebration series

This is easily the best series of photographs ever created at any Disney greater metro area.  I want to cry right along with you, sister.  Those ears are to die for!

So, after reviewing the above, one would be lead to believe that the love child of such immaculate artists could only be the purest image of perfection.  Upon hearing about new fabric line I was hoping to see the work of a 21st century Charles and Ray, instead it was a bit more John and Yoko:

WTF?  no, seriously, what. the. fuck?  Are you kidding me Jaime and Nienke?  I feel so, the emperor has no clothes.  Is this some sort of inside joke / test to all of us loyal followers to see if we really will fall for any Hobby Lobby knock-off you throw out into the world?  Well, it’s not funny and I’m not falling for it.   I still love you both enough to adore every last thing in each of your personal portfolios, but this is just plain silly.  

The “”"colaboration”"” is entitled Serious Fun and was produced for furniture manufacturer Bernhardt Design.  I understand that the artists were limited to work within the Bernhardt aesthetic, and that they wanted to create a fabric that would not just be a flash in the pan, but a bit of a flicker would have been ok, this is just plain, well, plain.  More, if you can stand it:

oh, wow, blue and red?  Maybe this really is the greatest fabric ever?!  No it’s not.

Jaime and Nienke outshining their lame fabric.

If you haven’t sworn off our blog forever after posting such horrid pics, and you can actually stomach more, here’s what the designer’s had to say for themselves:

” This textile collection for Berhardt Design aims to bring a fresh and exciting input to the fabric world. We started to create funny fresh patterns, and using colour combinations which were just a bit more daring. Colour was the key, Basta with the browns, greys, green greys, blue greys and beiges!”

There is an exclamation point after the word beiges.  beiges!  Wrong, wrong, not ok.  What does all this mean?  Fresh, funny, daring color, color was key?  As opposed to all other textile design where what I had for breakfast was key?  Oh, how revolutionary, they decided to let color be the driving force. Genius!  And the breathtaking use of blue and yellow next to each other is astounding, who ever knew that complimentary colors would compliment each other so beautifully?  Bravo!

This fabric is lamer than the selection at Rowe furniture in 2001. 

Ok everyone, am I just missing something here?  Is this like one of those 3-D mall paintings where, if I look at it long enough a satanic robot will leap out at me?  If so, I could almost begin to like this fabric but I would never ever let it in my house.

Among the 872 new items I need for my house is a new sofa.  You would think I just landed on planet earth yesterday and have never had a place to sit, eat or look at artwork before.  That’s not true, I just want to get rid of everything I’ve ever owned and replace it with all the furniture from the Viceroy.  Since that probably won’t happen for at least another couple of days, I have to live with my fantasies and handy-work until then.  Enter, my inspiration sofas.  Bask in the glories people:

designers Nipa Doshi and Jonathan Levien, purveyors of all things great and true, pull at my heartstrings once again with their sofa, beautiful backside, available at Moroso.  With an unlisted price, it must be free and I’m sure shipping from Italy is pas de problem.  Incase, like me, you want to fill your room floor to ceiling with their heavenly goods you may also want to consider their princess and the pea bench:

It is with the utmost respect and kindness that I say:  I can totally knock that sucker off.  Perhaps my legs will pale in comparison to the glory pictured above but I can apply black laquer to a thrift-store bench like nobody’s business.  Enter a few thin foam pads… and, oh!  some of that Ikea fabric Erin just posted about and geeeze, louise, I’ve got a hot hot seating area for my bedroom.  How do you like them apples?  Tasty and delicious, I say.

Incase you like to be reminded of your eminent demise all the live long day, perhaps this little number from, ahem, coffincouches.com is for you:

I’m a claustraphobe to the max and have informed all my friends and loved ones that I want to be creamated for fear of eternity in a wee little box, I clearly can’t handle the coffin couch.  I am however a bit charmed by it’s mix of luxury and whimsy with a creepyness factor of eight hundred thousand.

Moving on.

If you love the coffin couch but don’t want to be troubled by all that messy death stuff, might I suggest another option: I am currently in the middle of a hot and heavy romance with Jaime Hayon’s BD Showtime collection:

Like the coffin couch it has a hard outer shell (safe for use underground?) and a sexy tufted leather inside.  Unlike the coffin couch, it comes with a lady in turquoise.  Brace yourselves, people, you are about to spend the next 437 years listening to me wax poetic about our lord and saviour, designer Jaime Hayon.  Buckle up.

In my quest for the perfect seat, I find myself, time and time again drooling all over my keyboard at the likes of these beautiful boxy couches:

la la la love the clean modern lines, ha ha ha hate the vintage/designer price tags.  Dear, sweet matty bear swears he can make me any of them, just hand him a picture, but I fear that this project might slow down the kitchen remodel I’m forcing upon him so instead, I bought this on craigslist today:

Once you’ve dried your eyes from all the tears of pain you likely just shed and are able to read again, let me promise you, dear readers, this solemn vow:  I karly, of sound mind and body, promise to sand down each and every piece of wood, re-stain with a semi opaic black benjamin moore stain, and cover with a protective, shimmery polyeurethaine coat.  I also will rip and shred every heinous piece of denim from this sad sad sofa only to recover with love and kindness in a lovely fabric, possibly from Ferm or (sigh) Ikea.  Pick up is scheduled for tomorrow, before and after post to follow.