At any given time, I have about 10 items ready to go in shopping carts all over the web. The only thing that stands between me and a neatly organized browser is, of course, money. Sadly I’m not a wealthy woman, so I have to pick and choose which wants make the cut. And it’s probably a good thing I can’t just rush out and buy whatever my little heart desires as soon as it fixates on an object — I may or may not possess a rather capricious nature. I might change my mind once or twice (or a million times) whilst concocting a final plan. So let’s check out what I’m looking at and decide what to buy, mmmm kay?

First is this guy from shades of light, which I’m planning to put in the nursery. He’s about $200 shipped to my house and I know that’s not bad for a fixture, but I’m cheap and keep hoping to stumble upon something just as good for half the price.

I also have samples for these scrumptious wallpapers by Flat Vernacular, all of which kind of fit my color palette. Some I might have a place for, some are just objects of lust.

There’s also this hilarious toile print made of derby cars from the same company that would make the cutest kid’s bathroom ever, but not sure I want to go that juvenile… or maybe I do. TBD.

Adorable leopard pillow by Arianna Belle. I don’t really need this, per se, but it’s cute and splashy and $55.

Ikea has new leather furniture out, and it’s pretty damn comfy. The Karlstad now comes in white leather, which is probably not the most kid friendly, but at least it cleans up easier than fabric. Our chesterfield is looking shabby, and this mightmightmight work as new seating. Don’t worry — I would burn those legs in the fireplace and buy a new set of chrome ones. For $899 (plus $135 back as an Ikea gift card), it’s a whole lotta sofa for not a lotta moola.

Of course what I really want is a pair of these plush Ikea Mellby chairs to replace Chester. A pair of chairs would suit our seating configuration so much better and be more versatile down the line. Sadly, Ben would rather have a couch to sprawl out on… comfort vs aesthetics? Hmmm.

Probably I will buy neither right now and focus on other matters.

Like the marble table I have yet to order…

Or the paint I need for the kitchen cabinets, the upholstery for the nursery chair, bedding for the guest bed, chairs for the new table, a desk for the office, or any of the other million pressing issues I would like to tackle before the baby arrives.

I might have some problems with focus.

So help me out — anything on this list I must buy today?

Yesterday Ike, Ben and I, drove all the way to the northern wilds of Round Rock, home of the Texas Ikea. It’s so far north Karly asked me if it was snowing up there, but sadly I had to inform her that hell had not yet frozen over, and that it was 105 degrees in the shade. The heat is sending me into a fugue state of ever increasing laziness, so as a result I’m gonna dispense with the chit chat and get down to some really important list making. Let’s read about how we lost three hours of our lives riding through the desert on a cart with no name.

1) I finally sat on this couch.

So, yon Hovas was actually pretty comfy, but Ben was utterly repulsed by the slipcoveryness (Ben is not terribly savvy in the cleaning department, obvi). While there were a few details I was not thrilled with — the arms are a little too rounded, the seat cushions stick out too far, and I wish the back cushions weren’t contoured like that — I thought it was pretty awesome for $499. Too bad the fabric choices are abysmal. I will be waiting until they make some nubby linen like covers like they do for Ektorp.

2) They did not have my Vago patio chairs so I rolled around in the middle of the store and threw a tantrum.

This is patently unfair, since that dumb chair is one of the best things Ikea has ever made. Check out Modfrugal taunting me with her fancy Vagos, arranged around a campfire. Awesome! Although just looking at that fire is making me hot.

This is really very frustrating, though. WHY can I not order things through the Ikea site? WHY can they not even ship site to store? It’s so ridiculous.

3) I bought Ike a bunch of kiddie crap.

Besides purchasing several accessories with funny Swedish names like Mesmakr and Pslinger, I snagged a Mammut stool so Ike can sit around the baby pool and dip his cute, chubby little toes into the boiling water.

4) I struck out in the rug section.

Ikea has some great, kid friendly rugs. I love the new Basnas, which is much nicer than the pictures show. It’s a nubby gray flecked flatwoven rug that has a lot more texture than a kilim, but no nasty pile with which to trap cereal bars and legos. The only problem is that, like many of Ikea’s rugs, it doesn’t come in an 8×10 option. The Swedes must live in shoeboxes. Same story with this Perisk rug, which was on super sale, but was super small.

5) Despite utter failure on many accounts, I did snag some cute planters.

Of course, most of the good stuff was already sold out. Oh, and while I’m working myself into a lather, let me ask why most Ikea pots do not have holes drilled in the bottoms for drainage? Plant whisperers, am I missing something here?

Enough kvetching. Sorry I’m Miss Bitchy today. Mondays suck.

I mean, YAY! Happy Monday!

Tomorrow I will be all sweetness and light. Pinky swear.

It’s that time of year, y’all — the time of year when the whole world slows down to a snail’s pace and everyone is on siesta time. That’s because (at least in our neck of the woods) it’s over 100 degrees outside and even walking out to the car forces a stinky sweat. I know you’re too hot to contemplate big fancy posts about the design world and stupid trends blah blah blah, so instead I’m going to tell you about all the window shopping I’ve been doing from the comfort of my air conditioned home.

I really want this dumb craigslist headboard so I can just be done with the neverending no headboard drama, but these stupid bitches won’t write me back. If it’s not available, delete the post, people! Anyway, I’m still pretending they are going to let me pick up this king sized, gold leafed, wood carved goodness. For $100 no less.

Then I will pair it with my new white duvet and these cutie pie tie dyed sheets from Overstock. I love so many of the colors, but I’m pretty sure only ivory, rose or black, would look good with my stuff/paint color. Guess which one I’m going to pick? $36 bam!

Moving on from the bedroom, it’s time to replace our milk and cereal bar encrusted rug (thanks, Ike!).

I could buy the exact same leather braided rug we already have ($150 here), or I could shake things up… maybe like this.

Of course, who knows exactly what “this” is, since the picture is so craptacular? You’re killing me, craigslisters. Anyway, if I buy a totally different rug, then I will need… other totally different stuff. You know how it goes.

I’ve been eying Ikea’s Hovas sofa for a while now… it’s so cheap! But it’s white, and I explained what happened to the rug, right? But it’s slipcovered! But will I ever wash said slipcover? Hmmmm. Has anyone ever sat on this sucker? What do we think about it?

Speaking of Ikea, they reissued the wildly popular Vago patio chairs (thanks to Modfrugal for the tip!), and I’m dying for a set, but our store doesn’t stock them. I think you should all call your local congressman to complain.

And since I apparently only like black and white things (did you figure out which color sheets I want yet?), I’m thinking about running over to our local West Elm and picking up these blackened planters on sale. Or maybe I will just save myself some sweat and order them. I’m so environmentally aware.

Ok, maybe not, but I am aware that I’m lazy.

Stay cool, homies!

Yesterday I made the grueling trek into the northern wilds, home of Ikea. Land of milk and honey. Or so I thought. See, I have long been incubating radical plans to radically update our completely unradical bedroom — our bedroom that is now headboardless, directionless, and a complete mess (if you don’t have kids, judge not lest you be immediately impregnated).

Before I headed to Ikea and was completely destroyed by the juggernaut that is ubiquitous Swedish decor, my plans to revolutionize sleeping through the power of psychedelic design were maybe somehow inspired by these rooms:

Minus the barfy dress.

Minus the funny face.

As I stood in front of the racks and racks and racks of duvet covers (while Ike melted down t-10 seconds to naptime), I thought about how I’m supposed to buy a blanket instead of a duvet cover, because duvet covers are so fall 2010. But all I saw were duvet covers. About 5237866 of them. And I know I probably should have gone home and bought a blanket off the interwebs, but I was under pressure from fluorescent lighting and toddler tantrums. Plus I’m tired of looking at the stupid mauge comforter (suspiciously close to this color) on our giant bed. So there I stood — endlessly, painfully pondering the duvet cover conundrum.

First I picked this up:

And then I put it down, because it had flowery flowers on it and I suspected it would not play well with the giant black panther picture hanging beside our bed. Or the Oriental nightstands. Or the chrome bench. Or pretty much anything in that room.

I bought a white duvet cover. It’s not even worth picturing. It’s white.

How did my technicolor dreams turn to dust in the wind? Damn you, Ikea, for overwhelming me with your conspicuous overstocking. Whatever. I’m moving on, and I think things are headed in this direction:

Just kidding. It’s pretty, but I have too much stuff to live in here.

I have a new plan. It has elements of crazy, but also supports the new white duvet cover theory formula corollary.

Alas, we’ll have to discuss it ad infinitum later because I have to go to a biggo photo job right now… someone has to pay for all that crap I bought at Ikea.

Have a good Monday. Do some psycho shopping for me.

[Desire to Inspire, Elle Decor, Magnus Marding]

When Elissa wrote to us for help designing her living room around a newly purchased vintage couch, she appealed to our sense of Texan loyalty. Ok, plus she told us how much she liked the blog, and we’re total suckers for flattery. Buckle up, kids. This is going to be a looong post, because as a Texas ex-pat now renting a gorgeous 30s apartment in Seattle, Elissa really needs our help moving forward.

Elissa says:

PLEASE HELP ME. Here’s the thing, I got this couch off of Craig’s List. I call it my “grandma couch.” Because it so is… I just love it. The problem is… I’m terrified to buy anything else. All I have is a hand-me-down unfinished Ikea mission-style couch table that is against the wall for my record player that I figured was better than the storage stubs my record player was previously on. I’d really like to make my front room nice, but I’m terrified that if I get something not in the style of my couch, the couch will look really weird, and if I DO get something in the style of my couch, I may as well put out a bowl full of unwrapped hard candies and cat hair and call it a damn day.

I want to make my place awesome but I’m totally commitment phobic. I need guidance rull bad y’all.

Dude, there is nothing in this apartment. How do people live like this??? Nature abhors a vacuum, Elissa. I would have filled this placed with tschotskes five seconds after moving in.

Well Elissa, you’ve come to the right place. I love to play decorating party, and I love an empty space. So, looking around I notice some fairly modern pieces that need to be integrated with the awesome grandma couch. I also see that the front room is pretty tight and needs to remain open. She can’t paint because the apartment is a rental. When I asked Elissa if she had any ideas or if there were any things she wanted to avoid, she mentioned that she liked Persian rugs and hates glass.

HATES GLASS?!

I’m going to overlook that for now, Elissa. Let’s get started with some inspiration:

So is it possible for a grandma couch to look modern? If the homes of Nanette Lepore and Annie Schlecter are any indication, then absolutely — especially if you want to reupholster it in a punch color. I’m just guessing that isn’t an option right now.

This room gave me a mini brainwave: Elissa can’t paint, but she can add big color and/or texture through a folding screen. Putting something sculptural in that back left corner would rock, too. So, I propose she buy a cheapo screen off CL or Overstock and staple some fabric to that bad boy. It couldn’t be easier. Even duct tape would work.

Keeping that in mind, I found this groovy bird of paradise fabric that I felt had a Persiany feel. I really like the muted but interesting colors:

And then I made it into a folding screen… ok, I pasted it onto the wall in photoshop.

My formula for designing her space went a little something like this: CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP. I mean, why else would she ask the world’s biggest penny pinchers for advice? Ok, seriously — to create an eclectic/transitional vibe that would embrace the grandma couch yet avoid going Miss Havisham on Elissa, I mixed an organic pattern with a modern, geometric pattern, and kept the furnishings light and airy so that the room would feel open.

Room #1 source list: Tapestry is $30 from Amazon, Rug is $179 from Ikea, floor lamp is $79 from Ikea, coffee table is $40 from Seattle craigslist (I might paint the base black…), sweet Thonet chair is $25 from Seattle CL, velvet pillow is $32 from Urban Outfitters.

Did you see all that craigslisting I did? Hells yeah.

I also did another room with a Persian rug I found off Seattle CL. I’m calling this one, Ike’s Room With Grandma Couch.

Room #2 source list: fabric is $7/yd Ikea Kajsastina, rug is $150 off Seattle CL, floor lamp is $249 from CB2, reclaimed wood and metal coffee table is $116 from Overstock, leather Wassily chair is $70 from Seattle CL, velvet pillow is $32 from Urban Outfitters.

At this point I became weary of photoshop,and then I decided to just pull a textile combo that could be used with the furnishings I selected above. You can use your imagination goggles, right?

Tree of life tapestry is $38 at Urban Outfitters, Ikea rug is $179, magenta velvet pillow is $28 at UO. Dizang this would make a cute room. Also, apparently I love stripes. And hot pink. Who knew?

I’m sure that once art and accessories are added in, Elissa’s pad will be killer. I’m pretty excited about this room, in case you couldn’t tell… maybe I went a little overboard?

Do you guys have a favorite combo?

Thanks, Elissa, for writing in with your question. I had a super fun time playing decorating party with you!

Today marks day one of The Hunny’s stupid week long business trip to LA, which means for the next five days it’ll just be me and precious Baby Ike. Now I’m not a religious person, but I do believe I just crossed myself all Father, Son and Holy Ghost, style. Anyhoo, Karly promised to think about maybe possibly potentially accompanying me and the babe on an Ikea shopping spree this Friday, which would be Ike’s second trip to Ikea although he visited at least 867 times in utero. In fact, we went so often while renovating the kitchen that we may have named our firstborn son after Ikea (he’s going to love this story when he gets older).

These days I can’t just jet off to Austin’s northernmost reaches whenever I feel like it — I have to PLAN, so I think I’m going to get started by typing up my dreamboat shopping list. Some of these things might get boughten, and some of them might not. By Friday, I will probably be playing fast and loose with the credit card, but I can always claim delirium as an excuse.

Part Most of Ikea’s allure lies in its flagrant cheapitude. Clockwise from top left: the Fado pendant light will be going over the kitchen sink (but you know I will be painting that hardware a bronzy gold), Gilda pillows for the living room, yet more Aina linen curtains to form a giant sexy curtain wall behind my bed, and loads of Elly dishtowels.

I have no use whatsoever for either of these new Ikea Charlotta fabrics, but I am in love, sweet love, with both of them, especially the Block print on the left.

How adorable is Ikea’s new Dekad alarm clock? As if I needed something other than Ike to help me wake up… Whatevs. For $5.99, it’s coming home with mama.

The time has come for Ike to get a highchair, and I had been planning — nay, counting — on buying Ikea’s Leopard chair on the left, but it got discontinued due to some supposed safety issues. DAMN IT. Now, instead of looking at a Casala inspired, ultra cool leopard, I’m going to have to settle for a wimpy old Antilop. Definitely not king of the jungle, but least it’s cheap.

In other news, I have a pillow and blanket problem. Behold:

Cute stuff: Karlstad, super cheap Henny, and Gilda pillows in two different colors.

My blanket fetish has been spurred to new heights by these inexpensive offerings. Clockwise from top left: Henny, Stoff in charcoal and natural, and Sticka.

ZOMG I want this so bad! The new Solig solar powered floor lamps are scorching hot.

Ok, so what I really want is this dumb CB2 knit pouf thing, but it only comes in puke green. WHY CB2? WHYYYY? Must everything come in some kicky punch color? Would it kill you to make it in white or black or gray? Whatever. I plan to fill the gaping pouffle shaped hole in my life with Ikea’s Alseda, which is A) not green and B) hella cheap. $29.99 — take that, CB2 bitches!

I want a new bed, so I plan to peruse Ikea’s offerings. So far, I’m interested in these fine specimens:

Queen of ubiquity, the Malm. Perhaps painted white?

I’m pretty intrigued by the Aneboda‘s shape, but I’m a little concerned about those screw things in the corners. Will this look like a cheap piece of crap?

And of course there is the super dreamy Edland, which would unfortunately draw the eye right up to the nursty faux wood grained ceiling fan over our bed. What? It gets hot in Texas.

Does anybody have one of these beds? Do they even make them in King sizes?

Speaking of cheap, what do you think about this:

I’m a little embarrassed to even post the Tranby, but I’ve been looking for a pair of round mirrors for my living room and why the bleep is everything so expensive? I don’t know about this, though… I kind of feel like it belongs at TJ Maxx.

And finally, IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! I need your help:

We neeeeed a new rug, and I want something big, cheap and flatwoven, because I am sick to death of woolen tumbleweeds blowing through the house. Which of these Stockholm rugs do you prefer for my living room? The furniture has been rearranged, but the pieces are still the same. I’m worried that the triangle rug will be too busy, but will the striped one get dirty on the white parts? Plus everyone in the universe has the striped one — should that disqualify it? Plus I’m not even sure that Ikea still makes the large 8.5 x 11 size. Does anyone know if they still carry it?

Ok, by my calculations I have spent approximately $3459 virtual dollars, and that doesn’t even include all the cinnamon rolls and ice cream cones I plan to eat. Gotta trim the list down. What do you dudes like?

Bang, bang, Baroque is dead. There’s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Euclid. Along with Deputy Pythagoras, Sheriff Euclid is here to promote order — no blurry lines for this straight edged law man. Still, Euclid ain’t afraid to loosen up and get all scalene in the hizzy. So bust out your protractors and compasses, and don’t forget to bring your perpendicular polygons. Kids, we’re gonna wax axiomatic today.

Softly rounded biomorphic ribbon chairs by Pierre Paulin are the perfect foil to hard angles. via Karl Anderson.

Hot shiny circumference supported by sexy supplementary angles = featherweight heavy hitter. Geo Side Table by West Elm, $199.

Kelly Wearstler knows a thing or two about balancing solid forms. I love this idea. Going to tell The Hunny to bust out his whittling knife and get busy.

Who wants a piece of the Pi? Just don’t forget to square the radius, or you may end up with a wimpy circumference. via Ngoc Minh Ngo

These wee Hexpods would be fab dangling from fishline, forming a constellation of acute angled beauty. I would paint them gold and silver and hang them in front of a black wall. Small Hexpod is $9.95 from CB2.

Hexagons and rhombuses, unite! via Ruy Teixeria

Chad Hagen’s Nonsensical Infographic No. 1 may not prove any corollaries, but it does demonstrate how beautiful spatial relationships can be. Prints available through 20×200.

No funny stuff, just crushing on these rectangles. I want this painting bad. via Ngoc Minh Ngo.

Apparently the home owner never leaves his house. I wouldn’t either if I had a pool flanked by these mirrored isosceles megaliths. via OWI

I’m considering this rug for my redesigned living room. It’s probably too busy, but think of how much cat hair it would hide. Ikea Stockholm Rug, $229.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if just one window in your house had beevision? You have to appreciate how orderly those little captains of industry are. via Ruy Teixeira.

Balance. Mathematical perfection can come from a paint can. via Christoph Theurer

Boho Geo Fringe Pillow courtesy of Urban Outfitters, $38. Love it.

This is quite possibly the coolest bathroom I have ever seen. Something tells me I can’t get those cabinets from Ikea, but that’s not going to stop me from lusting after their trapezoidal beauty. via Christoph Theurer

That’s it for today’s roundup. Hopefully you were all able to follow along, and are prepared to take a pop quiz. Questions: What do you think of this new trend? Do you mourn the absence of curlicues? Could geo peacefully coexisit with flowery damask?

I wish I had a cyber tour bus to drive in front of my kitchen, just so I could drive it off, thereby making the big reveal dramatic! and exciting! I would jump up and down — propelled by the overwhelming spirit of joy and gratitude — screaming and crying about how amazing it is, and about how getting a new kitchen has changed the very core of my being. But that would be untrue, because (let’s face it) macaroni cooked over a bunsen burner in a dorm room is the same as macaroni cooked on a brand new stove in my pretty new kitchen.

But that don’t make it any less pretty.

Remember when I first enlisted your help with my junky kitchen a looooooooong ass time ago?

Yes, the red is very charming (unless you have to live with it), but everything else in the kitchen deserved to be burned in a pressure treated blaze of glory. Trust me, it was a LOT WORSE than it looks in my awesome picture. Well, a mere six months and 10k later — with only one week to spare before the baby is due — it looks like this:

I know, I know! You miss the tile and the bank of head bonking cabinets, the chipped almond formica and the spectacularly filthy appliances, but at least the rugs are cute, right? In all seriousness, this was crazy hard to shoot because the light was not cooperating and the paint wants to read as brown instead of gray, but hopefully you get the idea.

We still have a lot of trim issues to deal with and loads of accessorizing to do, but it’s 95% done! Hooray! And despite what must be universal hatred of barstools, I love that we have some extra seating near the kitchen instead of wasted space on the living room side, like we had in our old kitchen. Plus, you have to admit that my vintage Thonet stools are pretty fly.

Hallelujah, you can even see into the living room without busting your head open on a fortress of low hanging cabinets! Downside: I have the sudden urge to replace those hideous ceiling fans, STAT! Any recommendations?

So, what did we do in here, anyway? I detailed the floor renovations a while ago, but you can read about them here. We yanked out all the old oak cabinets and mounted them in the garage (whee! extra storage), then replaced them with Ikea Abstrakt gloss white cabinets, and Ikea Applad black cabinets mounted to form a pantry wall.

So much better than the floating fridge situation we had before! Oh, and surprise! I am the kind of person who sticks stuff all over the refrigerator. Hunny Bunny hates it, but how else will I know where to find my Babies R Us coupons? What do you think of my crazy Moroccan brass tray up there? I know it’s kind of passe to stack stuff on top of your cabinets, but because our room is vaulted, it felt really naked without something…

The peninsula was ripped out and HB built a new, taller wall for the bar to anchor the cabinets onto. He and Matty bear also tore out the old post and replaced it with a smaller, dry walled post. The counters are Ikea Numerar in oak, and the backsplash is soapstone, which Matt installed. Karly bought the vintage Danish pendant lights on Ebay and decided they didn’t work for her. Bonus! They are perfect in my house. I got a new stove on sale at Lowes, the Datid hood for half price at Ikea, and I am unnaturally obsessed with our new Ikea spice rack. Now I just need three more spices to fill it…

On the sink wall, Matt installed a soapstone tile countertop in a very labor (and dust) intensive process so that the countertop looks like a slab. No grout, and half the price! He did a super excellent job, and if you live in Austin I highly recommend you contact him for all your handyman/renovation needs.

We bought a Kohler cast iron sink that has a very low divider, so it’s kind of the best of the single/double sink worlds. Love it! The faucet is also Kohler, and the dishwasher was on sale at Lowes. I had the vintage light fixture already and it’s ok (I like the brass), but I think I could do better. Someday. Maybe. Oh, and the reversible cotton rugs are from Ikea, of course.

The window wall feels a little unfinished, so we’re planning on putting up a couple of shelves where I can display cute dishes and whatchamadoodles. What do you think: glossy white? black? or butcherblock? Who knows when we’ll get to it, since we’ve only got a week until the baby is due and still need to clean renovation dust out from under the furniture, but we can dream, right?

So, that’s it for my kitchen tour. We hatched a half baked plot in November of last year, started gutting in January, and “finished” just days ago. I think our original idea was to slap some paint on our ugly cabinets and call it a day, but I’m glad we took the advice that many of you gave us — which was to rip it out and go for it. Including the appliances (except for the fridge), the floors, counters, sink, hardware, cabinets, lights, paint, and Matt’s labor, we came in at around 10k, which was pretty close to my original estimate. It took the short side of forever to complete, but because Hunny did most of the work himself and Matt helped out a lot, we were able to spend most of our budget on materials instead of labor.

So far, we’re super happy with it, but I’ll be sure to let you know if any of the walls fall down…

I pretty much don’t buy new things. Mostly it’s because I’m cheap, but when I’m making some pretense at self righteousness (usually when trying to justify the purchase of yet another thrifted chair to the Hunny), I say that I’m saving the earth. Pretty much single handedly. Ok, Karly helps, too. However, we’re remodeling our kitchen, and gosh darn it’s hard to thrift built in cabinets. Plus we’re furnishing/decorating a nursery, and used sheets and rugs for le bebe just won’t work for me. This newfound taste for uh, newness, has resulted in THREE trips to Ikea in the past week alone. If you’ve never been to an Ikea store, just know that a) there is never one conveniently located by your house and b) it takes hours just to navigate the showroom labyrinth.

You see, Ikea’s “floorplan” is actually a nefarious plot designed to keep you trapped within the store for the longest possible time without actually causing brain damage. But I can tell you, it comes damn close. So today, I’m going to shower you with all the Ikea knowledge I’ve gleaned over the past few months of epic trips, in the vain hope that I might spot some goodies for you and prevent Ikea overload should you ever step into the store yourself. Even so, it might be best to tie a rope to your car, all Poltergeist style. Just in case.

First of all, what in the world have I bought there? Well, this corner of our nursery (yes, there is a bed in our nursery, but don’t worry — there’s a crib, too) features a Ludde sheepskin on the rocker ($49.95), the Stockholm nubby throw ($29.99), a pair of black Jorun pillows ($14.99 ea), and linen Aina curtains ($49.99 for 2). Sorry, Le Tigre is not available at Ikea. I have to say that of all these items, I think the curtains are a steal. They’re linen, 8 ft tall with rod pockets in the back and faux pinch pleats in the front. Good deal.

Additionally, I’ve bought a bazillion dollars worth of kitchen stuff there, including Abstrakt white cabinets and Nexus brown black cabinets. (You can read all about my obsession with both in this post.) I’ve been shopping for some kitchen accessories to go with, and I think these Asker egg shaped cups on rails are pretty swift. They also look nice in this cute office, which is sadly marred by that creepy “Hello.” Link via Apartment Therapy.

And, of course, I love my giant wicker beehive light ($89.99 for the biggun) that hangs in our dining room, which currently looks nothing like this. At all.

In addition to all these purchases, my pinched pocketbook lusts after — but will probably not buy — the following items:

Blob lights! Ok, I might actually buy a pair of these bad boys because THE HUNNY LIKES THEM. This does not happen. Ever. Ikea Jonisk, $49.99. Awesome proportions — it’s big.

I would also lurve to have an entirely new patio set… alas, I am broke. But if you’re shopping for a giant umbrella, Ikea has some super fantastic ones. This cantilevered badass is HUGE. Ikea Karlso, $129.00 for 10 feet of shade.

Ikea also rolled out these new deck chairs for the summer season. Brommo has all the elements of a classic: clean lines, decent construction, and it’s comfy. Plus you gotta love a good rope chair. $59.99.

You could always imitate the effervescent Ione Skye and buy these lounge chairs for your outdoor wonderland. Karl Skrona is kinda pricey at $169, but if it’s good enough for ex Mrs. David Netto… (Netto, what were you thinking, anyway? Ione is adorable!)

If you’re among the rich and famous and have $129 to burn on ONE chair, the Ange is Salternini sweet. Oh, and Karly and I would each like a set of six while you’re at it. Thanks!

Anna from Door Sixteen has the Karlstad couch, and I have to say that sucker is super comfortable! Another friend has the same sofa in a sectional configuration, and I am sorely tempted to sell my leather sofas and buy one, too. It’s that squishy good. Do yourself a favor and buy the best fabric they have. $599 for gray wool flannel.

One of Ikea’s greatest strengths is probably their textiles; the rugs in particular are priced well considering the materials and patterns. Clockwise from top left: 1) Admete, two sided cotton runner, $19. 2) Flatweave Jorun, two sided wool, $179. 3) Tarnby, braided jute $99 (much nicer in person — very thick). 4) Stockholm, wool, $229.

They had some pretty cute new duvet covers when I was there, too. Love this one in a child’s room, styled by Creature Comforts. Unni Slinga, $19.99 for duvet cover and two pillowcases.

Ikea’s other greatest strength is its straight up cheapness when it comes to the basics:

Remember my last post about Blobs where I waxed hateful on Damien Hirst and how damn much money he makes for “designing” things like the light configuration in this home? Well, eight Ikea lights later and you’ve got your very own Damien Hirst design. Left: Lillholmen, $9.99. Right: Fado, $29.99. Boo ya!

So, in closing, I would like to summarize all the things I like about Ikea: 1) It’s cheap. 2) Sometimes it’s cool. 3) They have great customer service, as in they will take ANYTHING back. Are you listening muthereffing Target? I’m also in love with tiny Bob, the kitchen designer at the Austin store, and Kumar, the most excellent customer service dude, ever. 4) They have this new deal where using your debit card nets you a 3% credit on your next trip. Yay! Free money! 5) They only have reusable bags — no disposable plastic nasties. 7) “Ice cream” cones. 6) Occasionally they give their products very funny names, like this corkscrew:

But it’s not all sweet smelling rosy stuff. There are things I hate about Ikea, too. 1) It’s far away. 2) It’s really far away. 3) The zombies:

If you’ve ever been to a brick and mortar Ikea store, then you know eactly what I’m talking about.

As you already know, everyday is a party here at DC headquarters.  Unfortunately, the South South Austin branch of our conglomeration is not reflecting this ideology all too well.  Enter, a trend I’ve been spotting all over the web:  Garland.  Both festive and feminine, these lovely paper cutouts say “Yeah, it’s Wednesday, why don’t you just go ahead and get your groove on?”

via Please Sir

The flag banner in it’s most basic form.  Can’t you just smell the turkey legs and screaming children?

Artist Sophie Cuvelier juxtaposes the flag banner hype with quite interiors:

The small scale of her hand cut pieces become blissfully overwhelming when produced en masse. I can see these in every single room of my house.  If only I had the patience and time it must take to assemble these suckers. 

Wedding stylist Rebecca Thuss  Brings the jamz with her large scale garland alter.  I am wondering how my husband and mother will feel if I file for divorce so that I may remarry (same man) under this insane piece.  I will not be wearing that blue dress, though.

For a totally over-powering paper cutout experience, check out the works of stylist Zoe Bradley  her garland displays are to-die-for and probably even bring window-dresser-to-the-stars, Simon Doonan, to his Burberry knees. 

Zoe combines boxes, bags, paper and bows to make a Karly-Flavored dream display

If you need to water down your garland fashion for everyday wear, perhaps something like this is a bit more your style:

This garland inspired necklace from flickr user Vera Joao creates an instant traveling party.  Perfect for running errands or taking your cats to the vet. 

One of my very favorite flag banner pieces is this print by artist Elisabeth Dunker.  It has been my desktop image for as long as I can remember, one day I will own it in the flesh but for now it cheers me up every time I hop on my computer (which is almost every second of the day).  Note:  much more inspiring than a keep calm and carry on poster/pillow/towel/trash can liner.

You may remember that I have a smallish obsession with twins, when twin brothers Marc and Ian Hundley were featured on the Selby with their garland I almost fainted.  Seriously, why don’t you just throw Christain Bale into the shot so I can be completely sent over the edge?

If like me your heart rate has excelled to a no-longer healthy pace and your head is spinning with visions of garland throughout your house but you find the task of construction a bit daunting, you can always visit our fine friends at Etsy:

clockwise from top left: cupcake garland by etsy user Frivolous Whimsey; Garland of Paper Flowers by Millalove; Royal Garland and Royal Garland detail by Royalbuffet; Baby Mama Papel Picado by Aymujer

While (thank god) I don’t have a use for the Baby Mama garland, I think it’s probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.  Millalove’s paper flowers are so delightfully perfect. I can barely fold a booklet and this gal is whipping out paper dalias like it’s nobody’s business.

I’m a pretty crafty lady, but the one quality I possess that outweighs my creativity is my aversion to tedium – I’m willing to bet a million dollars that I never knit an entire scarf – so it’s good to know that these Etsy kids have my back and are willing to bring the party while I kick back and spike the punch.

+++++

UPDATE!  2 of our lovely readers reminded us about these lovely flag banners:

Woodley Park Zoo welcomes her new Feesh flag banner style.  I dare you to find a cuter fish welcome sign.

And thank you, Anna, for reminding me about my favorite Ikea fabric (how could I forget????)!!!  

I enjoyed Karly’s post on rough and tumble agrarian chic immensely, possibly because it might be the perfect foil for my new obsession: industrial chic. I know, we should stop using the word chic because it has the aura of class, and we all know that Klassy = Sarracuda t-shirts. If I once again employ the transitive property A=B and B=C, therefore A=C, then we can agree that chic is a very bad word indeed. Special brownie points and a gold star to anyone who can think of a better word than chic, but which also sounds good with agrarian and industrial. “Bravura” is not an acceptable submission.

It might help if I showed you some pictures, right?

Industrial light fixtures have been de rigeur in the kitchen since stainless took over as the metal of choice. The oversized pendant lights on the left evoke 30s/40s elegance in a thoroughly modern kitchen, while the (tiny picture of the) green wall-mounted beasties on the right from Desire to Inspire’s fab site are a little more turn of the 20th century.

Actually, get ready to see a lot of pics from Desire to Inspire because Kim is remodeling her own kitchen and she and I share similar taste in fixtures, including articulated lamps like the ones I posted about recently.

The Style Files also showcases some great kitchens, including this very simple one with gargantuan pendant lights:

Speaking of lights with titanic proportions, check out this baby from CB2:

She is very sexy, no? Like a polished fusilage or jet afterburner, whatever those things are. Too bad that rug is KILLING me. Too small, too red, too marled. Actually, I like marled things… I just had to add one more insult for a little bit of tertiary symmetry.

Time for some retail therapy:

Pendants and sconces and a SCISSOR lamp, oh my! All from Pottery Barn — seriously — except for the bottom left one, which is from Restoration Hardware.

I have a rabid scissor lamp fetish… start snatching them up where you can because people are getting fizzy over them on Ebay. I kind of think either super sleek or super crazy, like this funky green pair from Radio Guy:

Radio Guy has some awesome fixtures (plus a ton of really weird masks and mannequins) in a more turn of the century vein, and I can definitely get down with some old school shizz, like these cage lights from Rewire.

Hotness! These are from 1915-1920, and Rewire says they’re shown with Edison bulbs. Can you even buy those anymore??? (Totally unnecessary aside: maybe they should be called Tesla bulbs, since Edison was such a damn dirty thief…) Whereas the 30s/40s sleek chrome fixtures would be fabulous with more rustic materials, I think these antique fixtures need a more modern backdrop to give them bite.

Par example, check out this hot number via Desire to Inspire:

Perfect combination of all that is good: bare natural materials in conjunction with clean hard lines, and to accessorize: THE MOST AMAZING LAMP EVER (check check and checkmate).

Bongiorno, I am the the most amazing lamp EVER, designed by maestro Mariano Fortuny in 1907. Yes, that Mariano Fortuny. I may be over 100 years old, but I look as fresh as a newborn babe, and I represent all that is holy and good in the lighting universe. As a matter of fact, even though I was originally designed with theatrical and photographic industries (wink, wink!) in mind, I am so hot that no one would dare think of hiding me behind a curtain. Because I’m hot. And Italian. And expensive. And did I mention hot?

There’s no topping that. But I shall press on bravely.

Some more inspiring images via Desire to Inspire, soon to be followed by a veritable onslaught of retail lighting goodness.

Floor lamps that aren’t as cool as the Fortuny, but we can’t all be gazillionaires: Clockwise from the top left we have Restoration Hardware, Pottery Barn (!), Chiasso (that hunk of steel is over 6 feet tall), and Pottery Barn (again!!).

And for those of us that aren’t even thousandaires (thanks, Reaganomics!), even Ikea has some good lights with game:

Wouldn’t it be cool if that sconce were really that big? Like four feet tall? Wouldn’t it also be cool if it took a regular bulb instead of a halogen one???

You all know by now that I’m partial to brass and gold, but maybe I’ll take my cue from fashion and mix and match metals with abandon.

All lamps from Circa Lighting, which is fast becoming a favorite, except for the top right, which is from CB2 (another perennial provider).

Even Sundance is busting out with goodies, like this Luminary Lamp. Yeah. Sundance

Stay tuned for my next post on Friday, where I fully intend to cover industrial furnishings that are totally unrelated to lighting. Because in my world, there are only two categories: lighting and not lighting. In the meantime, try not to get too overwhelmed by all of the choices out there and end up like this guy:

Electricity is dangerous, and something tells me he may want to step away from the wires.

(via pan-dan)

Yesterday, my loving brother (who shall be hereafter referred to as “Bubba”) requested a post on patio furniture that’s so robust it could withstand even the impending destruction of Hurricane Ike, and frankly I can understand his concerns since the last time I visited him a lightning storm zapped our laptop and struck so close to the window that I jumped bolt upright out of bed, positive that someone had cruelly popped a camera flash into my sweetly sleeping eyeballs (which would not be outside of my brother’s repertoire of juvenile pranks, I tell you).

Well, Bubba, the season’s end presented a few challenges, but I’ve done my best to round up a bevy of waterproof wonders sure to weather the sharpest storm in style. I’m skipping the Big Box stores and starting off with a bang. First of all, you’re going to need this:

Sure, the LED Lightbench from Frellstedt comes in other colors, but I’m really feeling the hot pink for my big, burly brother. I’m almost positive he needs this, too:

I mean, it’s gold, it’s got Dictator Chic written all over it, and it’s amazingly WATERPROOF! Generate Designs and Design Front carry this little honey in many colors for the low low price of $7K. The producer, Studio JSPR, also makes a few different models of outdoor chairs, all designed to evoke interior opulence:

For that kind of cheese, you’ll want to be sure that your precious purchases are chained down, lest they fly off the mountain. Of course, JSPR’s plastic chesterfield chairs are my favorites because, as the Nerdy Fashionista knows, I loves me the tufting!

Then there are the requisite pods, for maximum loungeitude:

Holy hell these guys are expensive, but since they’re woven from resin wicker on a powdercoated aluminum frame and topped off with Sunbrella cushions, at least you can be sure they won’t melt into a puddle of moldy ooze. Via Home Infatuaton.

Of course, you can go for a minimal pod with a slightly less posh price tag. Check out the Outback Hanging Chair from Amazon:

Ok, on to some chair and table sets, most of which are actually — gasp! — affordable. Yes, it’s a new day for Design Crisis.

There aren’t a lot of choices in terms of materials for outdoor furniture, but lately designers have been making the most out of plain old plastic, and I love the lines and variety of color choices on all of these. Clockwise from top left: Reproduction of the historic Panton S Chair, $260 for a set of two from Advanced Interior Designs, Ikea’s Urban Chair for only $40, Philipe Starck-designed Dr. No Chair, $263 each from Hive, Air Arm Chair designed by Jasper Morrison at CB2, $149 each.

Now, I don’t like matchy matchy things so I would pair these chairs with an outdoor teak table for a little warmth and contrast. This one from Design Public is pricey, but the form is nice:

If you like this look but not the expense, shop around for local dealers who might carry some of the cleaner teak designs. Just choose something without all the extra business going on underneath… let the chairs do all the talking.

Here’s another table option from CB2 if you prefer something sleeker:

It’s a bit hard to see here. but that red powdercoated and welded metal x-base is pretty hot, and glass is definitely waterproof (if messy). Not bad for $399.

In case little brother is a matcher, here are a few patio sets that might work. First up, Brown and Jordan:

Brown and Jordan have been making sleek and fabulous patio furniture since the birth of exterior design, and they do it well. And expensively. But occasionally you can find a nice set of Brown and Jordan secondhand, and I particularly like their 70′s designs.

Sorry for the crummy picture, but this little resin wicker set is relatively inexpensive, so I thought I’d throw it in:

The chairs are very Kelly Wearstler, and overall I think the set has an ornate tulip table feel. Just not with the striped cushions!!!

One more frilly set for my six foot tall 200 pound muscle-bound brother:

For a more traditional setting, this set from Overstock could work well with some punchy cushions. At $440 including tax and shipping, it’s priced well for wrought iron.

Ok, now for a few more modern mash ups:

I like the idea of either the folding red metal chair by Blu Dot (sold by Hive Modern for $129 each including shipping!) or the fabulous steel and vinyl cord hoop chair sold by Plain Air (which I think is about $400 each, although you may be able to find a vintage Salterini patio chair with a similar form for less) with this simple metal and tempered glass table from Ikea for $199.

Last, but not least, my relatively attainable mid-level fantasy patio set for your viewing pleasure:

First, I need the plastic polymer Bubble Couch and Bubble Chairs designed by Philipe Starck and sold at Hive. The couch is $1020, and the chairs are $680 each.

Next, I need this lime green powdercoated steel coffee table sold by CB2 for only $249!

And to cap it off, I’m going Starck again with GOLD LIMITED EDITION gnome buddy side tables, Napoleon and Atilla, $375 each.

That comes to a grand total of $3,380. You know, Bubba, that sounds like a fair fee for my time today.

I kid! But I won’t be sad if you buy me a golden gnome for Christmas.