I get so bored with picture after picture of beautifully styled, perfectly inhabitable, regular old rooms. That’s why lately I’ve found myself branching out little by little, creeping at the fringes of bizarre traditional decor. Am I rushing to cover my walls in acres of toile? Not yet… although if I had a paying client you can bet I might try to convince them to do it. Just look how cozy this David Netto room is (my fave part is the tripod and camera in the mirror… is that a Hassy?).

But honestly, I like toile when it gets weirder.

This room swathed in Manuel Canovas fabrics is totally the neotrad version of the nutty Danish modern camouflage room I posted Friday. John Boehner and his orange fauxtan are probably hiding in there somewhere.

Ok, so maybe this is a little too weird, like grandma stopped taking her meds again. But there are some amazing details in here. Hello, swan bed!

Now this is good. For the moment let’s gloss over the fact that if I found myself in this room, I might be afraid to touch anything lest I besmirch those very expensive fabrics with my proletarian fingers. Would I change a few details about the decor? Mos def. For starters I’d add this:

Hendrik Kerstens knows it’s better to take tradition with a dose of humor.

Art is an undervalued endeavor — it does not create algorithms to invest money, invent pharmaceuticals, or generally further business interests in any way. And so, when the young and ambitious set their sights on the humanities, parents get nervous and friends shake their heads, and the young and ambitious learn to eat ramen and wear black. Street cred is a necessity, but so are clothes that hold up to paint, chemicals, and infrequent laundering. It’s pretty glamorous, the life of an artist is.

Photograph by Tracey Moffatt, via Emmas Designblogg

I have spent 15+ years slaving over a hot darkroom sink, many more poring over art books, and several years teaching, but I still can’t get enough of the photographs that set me on the path to poverty in the first place. Once afflicted, there is no cure for what ails you, save to embrace the disease.

Photograph by Andres Serrano, via NYT

And as much as I enjoy just browsing images on the net, it warms my cold, dirty black heart even more to see some of my favorite artists in the homes of the rich and famous. Thank jeebus somebody can make a living off their work, because who else could inspire the young and ambitious to sacrifice wealth, hygiene, and nutrition, in the name of art?

Vik Muniz, Bernd and Hilla Becher, and Christopher Bucklow, via David Netto

Photos by Mark Shaw via Nate Berkus

Images by Rineke Dijkstra via Fox Mahem

Work by Adam Fuss via David Duncan Livingston

Image by Candida Hofer via Richard Powers

Image by William Eggleston in the home of Krysten Ritter

Photos by Thomas Struth and Andreas Gursky via Michael Richman

Photo by Thomas Struth (on the right) via Met Home

Photo by Gilbert and George via OWI

Works by John Coplans (left bottom) and Loretta Lux in the home of Vicente Wolf

Photos by Steven Klein in the home of Nacho Figueras

I got a little obsessed while doing, ahem, “research” for this post, so I hope you won’t be terribly disappointed if I hit you with a two-fer. Back on Monday with another roundup of not quite so epic proportions. In the meantime, I’m entertaining out of town guests, but Karly will be here to regale you with her always acerbic wit.

Have a great week!

I have a problem. Yes, I frequently misinterpret Neil Diamond lyrics, but it’s worse than that. It’s my lighting addiction. Every night when the lights get low and my sleep deprivation has turned itself inside out, transforming me into a frenetic Mrs. Hyde, and there is nothing on tv — not even a Flipping Out marathon, I start trolling the dark streets of Ebay, looking for a fixture. Or two. Or three. I can’t stop myself from adding sconces, table lamps and chandeliers to my watch list. And do I need these things? Well, I could use a new light for over my kitchen sink, but in short: No. Hell no. I have a garage full of crap bought from Craigslist, Round Top, thrift and vintage stores. Anytime I shop for furnishings, I studiously avoid anything that is not, in and of itself, a source of illumination. Lighting is the jewelry of the room, and I like da bling.

So, during all my sleepless nights spent trolling, I’ve noticed two distinct lighting trends: restrained industrial, and architectural glitz. In the restrained camp, there is a plethora of very elegant French lights by 50′s designer, Serge Mouille:

House to Home

Mouille lights are classic and spare, but with an edgy vibe. Very French, no? In the glitzy camp, we have scintillating fixtures by Italian designer Gaetano Sciolari:

Via Brown Turtleneck Sweater

Sciolari’s lucite and brass chandelier does a lot to glam up an otherwise studiously neutral room, don’t you think? So, which do you prefer — French, spare and edgy, or Italian, shiny and voluptuous?

Catherine Deneuve or Sophia Loren? (And if someone can direct me to their male equivalents, I’d be most appreciative…)

I know. It’s cruel asking you to choose between two gorgeous creatures, but can two such strong personalities coexist in a polygamous marriage? I’m talking about the light fixtures, of course. Need more lighting porn to help you decide? Your wish is my command:

Mouille in David Netto’s apartment.

Sciolari via Vintage y Chic

Mouille in Jenna Lyon’s bedroom.

Sciolari via Apartment Therapy

Mouille, forgot source. Je regrete!

Sciolari in Kelly Wearstler’s crazy pink and purple guest house

Mouille via Met Home

I ran out of home pics with Sciolari chandeliers in them, so I’m including this sexy number all by its lonesome.

Mouille via Gribouillis Magazine

Sciolari. I think I just had a brassgasm. Orbrassm.

So, lovely readers, what are your thoughts? Shiny or spare? Glittery or sophisticated? Could you decide between one style over the other, or does the very idea of such a Sophie’s Choice bring a tear to the eye? Perhaps you think the two could be peaceful bedmates? Tell momma all about it.

I pretty much don’t buy new things. Mostly it’s because I’m cheap, but when I’m making some pretense at self righteousness (usually when trying to justify the purchase of yet another thrifted chair to the Hunny), I say that I’m saving the earth. Pretty much single handedly. Ok, Karly helps, too. However, we’re remodeling our kitchen, and gosh darn it’s hard to thrift built in cabinets. Plus we’re furnishing/decorating a nursery, and used sheets and rugs for le bebe just won’t work for me. This newfound taste for uh, newness, has resulted in THREE trips to Ikea in the past week alone. If you’ve never been to an Ikea store, just know that a) there is never one conveniently located by your house and b) it takes hours just to navigate the showroom labyrinth.

You see, Ikea’s “floorplan” is actually a nefarious plot designed to keep you trapped within the store for the longest possible time without actually causing brain damage. But I can tell you, it comes damn close. So today, I’m going to shower you with all the Ikea knowledge I’ve gleaned over the past few months of epic trips, in the vain hope that I might spot some goodies for you and prevent Ikea overload should you ever step into the store yourself. Even so, it might be best to tie a rope to your car, all Poltergeist style. Just in case.

First of all, what in the world have I bought there? Well, this corner of our nursery (yes, there is a bed in our nursery, but don’t worry — there’s a crib, too) features a Ludde sheepskin on the rocker ($49.95), the Stockholm nubby throw ($29.99), a pair of black Jorun pillows ($14.99 ea), and linen Aina curtains ($49.99 for 2). Sorry, Le Tigre is not available at Ikea. I have to say that of all these items, I think the curtains are a steal. They’re linen, 8 ft tall with rod pockets in the back and faux pinch pleats in the front. Good deal.

Additionally, I’ve bought a bazillion dollars worth of kitchen stuff there, including Abstrakt white cabinets and Nexus brown black cabinets. (You can read all about my obsession with both in this post.) I’ve been shopping for some kitchen accessories to go with, and I think these Asker egg shaped cups on rails are pretty swift. They also look nice in this cute office, which is sadly marred by that creepy “Hello.” Link via Apartment Therapy.

And, of course, I love my giant wicker beehive light ($89.99 for the biggun) that hangs in our dining room, which currently looks nothing like this. At all.

In addition to all these purchases, my pinched pocketbook lusts after — but will probably not buy — the following items:

Blob lights! Ok, I might actually buy a pair of these bad boys because THE HUNNY LIKES THEM. This does not happen. Ever. Ikea Jonisk, $49.99. Awesome proportions — it’s big.

I would also lurve to have an entirely new patio set… alas, I am broke. But if you’re shopping for a giant umbrella, Ikea has some super fantastic ones. This cantilevered badass is HUGE. Ikea Karlso, $129.00 for 10 feet of shade.

Ikea also rolled out these new deck chairs for the summer season. Brommo has all the elements of a classic: clean lines, decent construction, and it’s comfy. Plus you gotta love a good rope chair. $59.99.

You could always imitate the effervescent Ione Skye and buy these lounge chairs for your outdoor wonderland. Karl Skrona is kinda pricey at $169, but if it’s good enough for ex Mrs. David Netto… (Netto, what were you thinking, anyway? Ione is adorable!)

If you’re among the rich and famous and have $129 to burn on ONE chair, the Ange is Salternini sweet. Oh, and Karly and I would each like a set of six while you’re at it. Thanks!

Anna from Door Sixteen has the Karlstad couch, and I have to say that sucker is super comfortable! Another friend has the same sofa in a sectional configuration, and I am sorely tempted to sell my leather sofas and buy one, too. It’s that squishy good. Do yourself a favor and buy the best fabric they have. $599 for gray wool flannel.

One of Ikea’s greatest strengths is probably their textiles; the rugs in particular are priced well considering the materials and patterns. Clockwise from top left: 1) Admete, two sided cotton runner, $19. 2) Flatweave Jorun, two sided wool, $179. 3) Tarnby, braided jute $99 (much nicer in person — very thick). 4) Stockholm, wool, $229.

They had some pretty cute new duvet covers when I was there, too. Love this one in a child’s room, styled by Creature Comforts. Unni Slinga, $19.99 for duvet cover and two pillowcases.

Ikea’s other greatest strength is its straight up cheapness when it comes to the basics:

Remember my last post about Blobs where I waxed hateful on Damien Hirst and how damn much money he makes for “designing” things like the light configuration in this home? Well, eight Ikea lights later and you’ve got your very own Damien Hirst design. Left: Lillholmen, $9.99. Right: Fado, $29.99. Boo ya!

So, in closing, I would like to summarize all the things I like about Ikea: 1) It’s cheap. 2) Sometimes it’s cool. 3) They have great customer service, as in they will take ANYTHING back. Are you listening muthereffing Target? I’m also in love with tiny Bob, the kitchen designer at the Austin store, and Kumar, the most excellent customer service dude, ever. 4) They have this new deal where using your debit card nets you a 3% credit on your next trip. Yay! Free money! 5) They only have reusable bags — no disposable plastic nasties. 7) “Ice cream” cones. 6) Occasionally they give their products very funny names, like this corkscrew:

But it’s not all sweet smelling rosy stuff. There are things I hate about Ikea, too. 1) It’s far away. 2) It’s really far away. 3) The zombies:

If you’ve ever been to a brick and mortar Ikea store, then you know eactly what I’m talking about.

Well, friends, today’s post comes to you from the depths of Ye Olde Texarkana, located at — you guessed it — the funky junction of Texas, Arkansas and Louisisana. To put it mildly, my computer here is a little wonky (AOL???! why not just hook a bicycle up to the computer and pedal to power it like crazy Ed Begley Jr.?), but bear with me for a two-part series on the crazy adventures of Yves Klein and the electric blue zeitgeist that’s sweeping the decornation.

When I was in art school, Yves Klein was something of a mystery to me. A conceptualist in the 50′s and 60′s, a lot of what he did was just paint stuff –any stuff — blue, but not just any blue; he patented his own lapis lazuli shade which he titled IYKB (International Yves Klein Blue).

(photos courtesy of the Yves Klein Archives).

Yves loved him some naked ladies, which he employed as paint brushes that wielded his Klein Blue paint during performances where Anthropometries, or visual measurements of the human body, were created.  And so the human paintbrush trend was born…

But he wasn’t above stealing readymade forms, like a copy of the torso of Venus or a common globe, and coating them with blue paint, much like Karly covers everything in gold paint. I suppose International Yves Klein Blue has a continental ring to it that International Erin Williamson Puce doesn’t really have, but I’m starting to think I should have gotten wise to the whole “just paint stuff” movement a lot sooner.

Yves died in 1962 of a heart attack — dude was only 34! — but a lot of his works have been in heavy rotation for the last couple of years. Check out that very same bust of Venus in a contemporary posh pad decorated by Brown and Davis:

Blue and yellow are back together again, for the very first time…

And here’s the now familiar globe at the Hotel Verhaegen in Belgium:

In this room, that globe looks like it landed from an alien planet and I LIKE it. I also like the idea of staying at a hotel where an incredibly expensive piece of art is just sitting on the coffee table, waiting for me to stash it in my slightly oversized purse.

The most attainable and decorative of Klein’s works are the infamous lucite coffee tables that have been popping up everywhere:

Design superduo Yabu and Pushelberg are practically cooing over their Klein table, which I must say, makes a major statement in their largely monochromatic apartment.

And according to Habitually Chic‘s website, designer David Netto says “You’re not living until you have an Yves Klein cofffee table.”  I guess I’ll keep that in mind, that is if I have a mind, because I must be dead. Oh, and just in case I’m not already sleeping with the fishes, the rest of David Netto’s art collection makes me want to choke it’s so amazing.

But not quite as amazing as Marianne Boesky’s collection, which features a pink Klein table. Surprised you with that one, didn’t I? Extra credit if you remembered from an earlier post that he made gold tables, too.

I love the bizarre pop of color these tables give to conservative spaces, and I would KILL someone for those hooded head prints. This may be one of my favorite apartments. Ever.

Back to blue. Focus! So, I can’t afford one of the only 300 tables in each color that were made. But I was thinking of buying one of these and working it over:

The OG table on top, lefty is from Eurway and righty is from Ikea. It would be so easy to paint the tops of either table and have a piece of plexi cut to cover the top, just to protect the finish and add some extra shine.

So move over gold, there’s a new color to just paint stuff: Klein Blue, aka, Pantone 72C Pantone 286 mixed with Reflex Blue. Thanks, Anna at Door Sixteen, for alerting me to my faulty color match!

People, I am busy. I am literally (seriously) going fishing tomorrow, and I have buckets of fried okra to eat after that, but I’ll be back for Thursday’s sure to be poorly written AWESOME post, where I shall overload you with pretty pictures of Klein Blue interiors. Because I heart you.