In a nutshell, the trouble is photographs lie. You aren’t really that fat (promise), the perfect gray paint color that looked amazing in a magazine looks like shit on your walls, and those pink curtains I lusted after weren’t even pink.

Remember this room? I was all, Oooh ahh magic! over it and how such a sophisticated room could pull off those pink curtains. Well get a load of this:

Same room. Not exactly pink pink, more of a rose…

Huh. Well I might consider that to be more of a clay red — something with a fair amount of brown in it.

Not pink at all.

So, you see, I was doomed from the start.

Witness:

Oh me. Oh my.

The other trouble with photography is that it’s awfully labor intensive. I almost turned around to shoot the back of the room so you could see my secret piles of toys and laundry drifts, but I wanted propagate the myth that I keep a semi clean house. Still, why didn’t I move the speakers? Or restyle the fireplace? Or hang those curtains higher and replace my chesterfield and find a new place for the tv?

I have a lot of work to do. Focus.

Yet another problem with photography is that some of you are probably thinking, Those pink curtains are bananas, dawg!

Well, I hope your brain doesn’t think in those words, because that may be the trouble with you.

Anyway, those pink curtains were like eight year old sparkly bubblegum pink unicorns riding rainbows to My Little Pony land.

Hell. No.

It’s not like the flax curtains fared much better. Once again — they may look ok in the picture, but they were green in real life. Not pretty with my peachy pink walls.

So I took that crap back and now I have two totally different curtains up. Plus I just ordered two more.

And I’m trying to stop myself from ordering sandy beige… I think I’ll save super neutral for the double height curtains I might get around to someday.

The trouble with me is I am so used to taking photographs that I expect my house to look like one.

Also I am extremely overwhelmed and indecisive.

Will report later on the ever expanding curtain conundrum.

In the meantime, let me tell you why you aren’t as fat as you look in pictures. It’s because humans see with two eyes, and we can sort of see around objects to the background behind. Cameras only see with one eye and they flatten everything onto one big fat plane.

So there you go. You are 10 pounds thinner.

That’s something, right?

How was your weekend? Mine was filled with painting and cleaning. Ok, and maybe eating. The Inlaws kept Ike Saturday night so we could go out on a date, and I somehow found myself  faceplanted in a ginormous stack of fried donuts stuffed with cream cheese and bananas, drizzled with caramel sauce, and smothered with cinnamon ice cream. I think I had a When Harry Met Sally moment in the restaurant, but hours later as my rapidly shrinking underwear began digging into my butt cheeks, I felt a little remorseful for bingeing.

No I didn’t. That was the most delicious thing I have even eaten.

These rooms are delicious, too. How do you like that segue?

Art. Art. Art. Scale. Edible coffee table.

Everyone needs an amphora served with a slice of hot pink pie in their life.

Like a lemon meringue — crisp and frothy yet satisfying.

Later, taters. I have to go briskly waddle around in hopes of burning off some of those sweet delicious calories.

Worth it.

[Images via pinterest]

I’ll let you ascertain what exactly the extra “F” stands for. On Wednesday I woke up sure that it must be Saturday, but no — just another day in the longest week in the history of the world. So I apologize for not being the postess with the mostest, but when you’re trying to type with Pitbull’s “I Know You Want Me” cranked up to the max on a xbox dance game, you can’t really expect much.

I will say that Ike is a very talented dancer. And yes, I am awaiting my parent of the year award. I hear it’s coming any minute.

Anyhow, I’m having an internal debate about the wallpaper I had chosen for the front entry:

I’m looking for something that can play second fiddle, because Wallpaper X will be holding court next to the dark front room and I don’t want the paper to get any melodramaculus ideas about stealing the show.

So this is Neisha Crosland’s Zebra in stone, and it’s a two roll minimum. From England with mega shipping rates. So that makes it well over $200 for this order alone. Now that’s not a ton of $$$, but when I have a zillion things to buy it’s about $100 more than I had intended to spend. Remind me again of why I’m not rich and famous?

Anyway I find myself shopping for wallpaper. Again. So far this is the best I’ve found:

I like most of Harlequin’s Deco inspired Arkona collection, actually. Otto is a pretty pattern, but not quite as light and bright as the NC’s Zebra.

Cole and Son’s Malachite in silver on beige is also a contender. It’s super hard to photograph, but I think this picture shows the color and texture well. You can also see a picture I took of it here.

So, I’m open to suggestions for interesting tone on tone wallpaper. Hit me with your best shot.

Or maybe I should just go with this mural:

It is pretty tempting… but I think I better stick with my original plan.

Happy TGIMFF, y’all.

I am so. damn. tired. Yesterday I took a picture of my basketball sized belly so you could see that I’m headed into the misery stage, but I’m too tired to upload it. I even took pictures of my crazy curtain debacle but I’m also too tired to deal with that.

This is shaping up to be an exciting post. Let me spice things up a bit.

I am obsessed with every single thing in this room. I’m not sure I would be happy living here 24/7, but as a cozy library it KILLS. Those window treatments put all other window treatments to shame. The paint color and glossy built ins are ridic. The textile combo is absurdly good. And I’m going to steal that light fixture… as soon as I can figure out where it comes from.

This room by fellow Austinite Bailey McCarthy touches my happy place (visuals not necessary). The glow in the dark constellation wallpaper may make an appearance in the kid’s bathroom at our house.

GLOWS IN THE MF DARK, Y’ALL. If I were really brave, I would paper Ike’s ceiling with this bizness. But that sounds hard and I may have already mentioned that I’m tired.

Instead I think I’m going to just order this cute print for Ike’s room, glue some glow in the dark stars to the ceiling, and call it a day. (Thanks for the poster link, Katie!)

In other news, I might paint our bedroom this color:

Or maybe this color:

Dede Pratesi’s bedroom is pretty much my idea of perfection.

And as if this post weren’t already disjointed enough, you need to head on over to MFAMB and check out the room Jenny Andrews just decorated for her precious kidlet.

Awesome real people decorating on a budget makes me SO HAPPY.

What is not making me happy is my curtain situation.

Still working on it. I don’t understand why this stupid room has to be so difficult.

Yet another trip to Ikea is in the works, and a trip to the West Elm outlet already happened.

Pictures to follow. Soon.

You already know AB Chao, although you may have trouble placing her face. That’s because she looks like this:

Yeah, she’s kinda famous for her headless self portraits. But she’s even more famous for this:

You can’t even google the words “farrow” and “ball” without this room coming up. EVERYONE has seen it — even Kelly Wearstler. And she liked it. A lot.

But AB Chao has made other things, too. Like this:

And this:

And even this glamazing garage redo:

Pretty awesome.

And sure — you might hate her a little. She’s tiny and even peppier than her teenage daughter, she used to write for fancy tv shows, and her clothes are always cute. Even her husband is cute.

I mean — dammit, AB. You need to quit it with the cuteness.

But here’s the thing:  I’ve known her for years and she’s a really nice, really real person who knows how to make something out of nothing (those curtains in the top shot? first dropcloth curtain diy I know about). This is important because being an average middle class wage earner should not be an impediment to style.

And now you can join her Dewit Design Camp and be like AB.

Dudes, AB Chao is coming to Austin from June 30-July 1 to school you! Learn this stuff:

• Basic principles of design
• Creating inspiration boards
• Drawing layouts
• Paint, wall coverings, lighting, window treatments, furniture, art
• Using and repurposing existing items
• Decorating on a budget
• Common mistakes
• Putting it all together
• Styling
• Shooting interiors
• Q & A

Plus you will get to eat yummy food and hang out at Meredith Pardue‘s fancy new art studio. You know Mer:

She makes those paintings that are in all the glossy magazines.

She lives in Austin, too.

Austin is cool.

Cool people live here.

Be even cooler and meet Misses Chao and Pardue in person and soak up their coolness by osmosis.

Sign up for Dewit Design Camp right HERE.

I might even show up if I don’t drop a baby first.

Curtain talk tomorrow.

Comment if you have any Dewit questions today.

Ben is pretty tolerant of my decorating whimsies. He let me choose the wood flooring in our house. He let me paint the dinette peachy pink. He begrudgingly allowed me to paint his office… twice. Basically I get to control all aesthetic decisions in our house.

Except for the pink curtains.

If you will recall, I planned to do double height curtains in our great room. Well I’m too tired to tackle that expensive problem right now, so I decided to just throw a pair of cheap (but good) Ikea linen curtains on the lower windows to allay my neurotic empty window fixations. I chose some pretty basic flax linen curtains and figured everything would look kinda like this:

Ok, and I may have taken the liberty of switching out the navy chesterfield for a pair of those Ikea Mellby chairs, because in my heart of hearts I know a pair of chairs (or maybe a chaise) would be best for my house… also, for anyone doubting the quality of Ikea’s new leather wares: go sit on them. They’re really nice soft pebbled leather. Totally worth the price.

Anyway, the mockup isn’t perfect but I think it proves a priori that the flax curtains would be just fine and we should hang them and move on.

But…

And:

Plus:

Maybe a little too girly, but still:

Finally:

Yeah. Pink curtains keep whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

And of course Ikea sells pink linen curtains, so I mocked that beeswax up.

I switched the art because I think pink works best when mixed with dirty colors… otherwise it comes off as juvenile and/or cloying.

So now it is super girlytown up in there. Ben also hates the lady painting, but that is just wrong.

What do you think? I would say the board does not accurately reflect colors, that the curtains are warmer and and that there is definitely baby pink in the rug even though you can’t see it in the board. Overall the rug is more raspberry than red.

Or perhaps I should just go halfway to girlytown with the lady painting and flax curtains? I could probably ask my sweet MIL to sew coral pink velvet piping on the curtains to up the oooo ahhhh factor.

So, for $100 which curtains should I choose? Flax? Or risk the wrath of my normally mild mannered husband and demand pink? I am, after all, about to be vastly outnumbered by penises and I don’t really think he has a leg to stand on.

Ahem. Insert joke here.

And another joke.

Ignore my morning prurience. Instead tell me which art and curtain combo you like.

Thanks.

[Head Over Heels, Ruthie Sommers, Pinterest]

At any given time, I have about 10 items ready to go in shopping carts all over the web. The only thing that stands between me and a neatly organized browser is, of course, money. Sadly I’m not a wealthy woman, so I have to pick and choose which wants make the cut. And it’s probably a good thing I can’t just rush out and buy whatever my little heart desires as soon as it fixates on an object — I may or may not possess a rather capricious nature. I might change my mind once or twice (or a million times) whilst concocting a final plan. So let’s check out what I’m looking at and decide what to buy, mmmm kay?

First is this guy from shades of light, which I’m planning to put in the nursery. He’s about $200 shipped to my house and I know that’s not bad for a fixture, but I’m cheap and keep hoping to stumble upon something just as good for half the price.

I also have samples for these scrumptious wallpapers by Flat Vernacular, all of which kind of fit my color palette. Some I might have a place for, some are just objects of lust.

There’s also this hilarious toile print made of derby cars from the same company that would make the cutest kid’s bathroom ever, but not sure I want to go that juvenile… or maybe I do. TBD.

Adorable leopard pillow by Arianna Belle. I don’t really need this, per se, but it’s cute and splashy and $55.

Ikea has new leather furniture out, and it’s pretty damn comfy. The Karlstad now comes in white leather, which is probably not the most kid friendly, but at least it cleans up easier than fabric. Our chesterfield is looking shabby, and this mightmightmight work as new seating. Don’t worry — I would burn those legs in the fireplace and buy a new set of chrome ones. For $899 (plus $135 back as an Ikea gift card), it’s a whole lotta sofa for not a lotta moola.

Of course what I really want is a pair of these plush Ikea Mellby chairs to replace Chester. A pair of chairs would suit our seating configuration so much better and be more versatile down the line. Sadly, Ben would rather have a couch to sprawl out on… comfort vs aesthetics? Hmmm.

Probably I will buy neither right now and focus on other matters.

Like the marble table I have yet to order…

Or the paint I need for the kitchen cabinets, the upholstery for the nursery chair, bedding for the guest bed, chairs for the new table, a desk for the office, or any of the other million pressing issues I would like to tackle before the baby arrives.

I might have some problems with focus.

So help me out — anything on this list I must buy today?

As I awoke to the sweet strains of Old McDonald and BINGO!, I realized with a start that today is the first day of Ike’s summer vacation. Moms everywhere know what this means — basically that time for showers, house cleaning, and blogging is suddenly diminished to the point of non existence. Le sigh. So while you may not see me more than a few times a week while Ike is running rampant through the house, smearing jelly on anything that will stand still, be not afraid (at least that’s what I’m telling myself). I’ll still be around.

I also want to say a big huge sloppy THANK YOU for all your kind and generous comments last week. It’s amazingly comforting to hear from people I both know and don’t know — many of whom have been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale. And for those of you without kids, don’t worry too much. It’s not all tears and sleep deprivation. It’s also a lot of hugs and sweet baby kisses and funny stories about legos and pizza that make no sense.

So, short post today. But I’ll probably be  back tomorrow and until then I need for you to put your heads together and figure out how to make my kitchen look like this. It could happen, right?

Ike’s room is almost done, the nursery has been painted, curtains just got boughten for the fireplace wall, I’ve made 8000 trips to Ikea recently, and I still need help with the master bedroom and kitchen.

We have lots to discuss. Stay tuned.

So yesterday I went to the outlets again in search of more mongolian fur pillows, but they were all gone — probably because I broadcast the message of cheap West Elm stuff far and wide, which was incredibly altruistic of me. But also maybe not so smart for a bargain hoarder. Anyhow, I ended up buying this:

[Not my house! See the entire nursery here]

While it would be a total score if I could walk into an outlet and buy this whole room, I was still pretty happy about snagging that  bassinet for half price:

Isn’t it cute? So cute that no fewer than five middle aged women told me how their ovaries just melted before I could even stuff it into the car.

So I wheeled my fancy new bassinet into the bedroom next to the bed, where I plan to house Baby X after I hit the ejector seat, and then I went to sleep.

And then the nightmares started.

This whole pregnancy, throughout all the complications and bed rest, I’ve been in total denial that we actually have a baby coming. I didn’t want to get too attached in the beginning because Baby X might not make it. And also my experience with Little Infant Ike was not exactly a cakewalk — he wouldn’t eat or sleep. He colic cried for four months straight. My nipples cracked and blistered and bled until he was six months old. He slept (or didn’t sleep) for eight months in our bed. I did everything I could to be a “good mom,” but I seemed to fail miserably. Still he was cute and smart as all get out, and most importantly he was healthy, so I just buckled down and made it work because that’s what parents do…

Now there is a crib in our bedroom again.

When I woke up at 3am and looked over, it reminded me of nothing so much as a lawnmower, coming straight at me Stephen King style. I tossed and turned for hours, wondering how I’m going to make this work again. I finally have a kid that is relatively self sufficient, and now I’m starting all over? W. T. F.

I worried about the blog — who’s going to take over while I’m recovering? Will anyone read when I come back? Does it even make sense for me to blog at all anymore?

I worried about my livelihood, not just for money but for my sense of self worth — I haven’t taken a photo or decor job since I went on bed rest.

I worried about Ike — he’s not going to be happy to share the spotlight.

I worried about our marriage — having a newborn is stressful.

I worried about my mental health — I don’t think I need to elaborate on this one.

I’m 10 weeks away from my due date, and of course I’m still worrying about furniture and paint and wallpaper and kitchen cabinets, because those are things I can control (barely). There’s progress in there somewhere.

So I apologize if I sound crazy and stressed and wishy washy. And if it seems like I’m incapable of making decisions for myself, it’s because I am.

I just wanted to say thank you for being here and reading, for indulging my hysteria (using that term with the original root in mind). It helps more than you know. I feel a little ridiculous and sappy sentimental saying that, but it’s true.

Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone. I hope we can all engage in some much needed R&R.

See you Tuesday, ready to talk decor.

[Isabel Lopez Quesada]

I have the urge to purge. Ok, and the need to bring the benjamins, because I have to pay for my fancy new table somehow. You know, the table which I have not yet ordered. Sorry to disappoint you guys — I’ve been busy, but hoping to order asap.

Anyhow, if you live in the Austin area and are interested in any of my fine wares, please leave a comment or respond to the craigslist ad and I’ll make you a sweet deal.

First up, I still have this stupid table. I have gotten a trillion emails about it, but no takers. Please come get it.

Craigslist ad HERE.

Oh, I also have a pair (yes, TWO) of those Knoll executive chairs for sale, but they’re not posted on the Craig. They look like this but with five legs:

Upholstery is a gray green wool in good condition, although there are some spots. Casters are a bit sticky. Knoll labels still intact. Sorry I’m too lazy to take new pictures. Make me an offer.

Next up, vintage cube table.

Craigslist ad HERE.

It’s in pretty good shape, and it’s taking up valuable real estate in my living room.

Next I have a pair of (TWO) Lane walnut end tables.

Craigslist ad HERE.

You can kind of sort of see both of them here:

These are dope. Solid walnut, inlaid edges. A few nicks and one spot in the finish pictured.

Buy them before I change my mind…

And then there is this brass console table, for which I have only hideous pictures.

Craigslist ad HERE.

Um, yeah. That is a shamefully bad picture. But hopefully you can see through the glare to the majesty within.

Brassy is as brassy does.

What else? Oh yes — this:

The infamous blue velvet and chrome rocker. She’s Italian, I think. Sexy as all get out. But if I can get the right price, out the door she goes.

A lot of people have expressed interest, but I’m going to try to sell her locally if possible. If you live in the area, make me an offer.

That’s all I have for now.

Buy my stuff, please.

Sorry I couldn’t respond to all your wonderful advice yesterday, but since the doctor stole a gallon of my blood, made me drink a hideous glucose confection, and gave me a shot to which I had some weird feverish reaction, I thought it best to hide out until I could string three words together without sounding like a raving brain dead pregnant lunatic. Although let’s face it — that’s pretty much who I am 24/7 these days.

Anyhow, I read and greatly appreciated every single one of your comments. Thank you! Extra special thanks to those I psycho emailed with 800 questions. I feel ever so much better today and will try to avoid doing that again… no promises, though.

So, I started reviewing my dining inspiration files and noticed a distinct trend:

White, white, and more white tulip tables.

I know the wood tops are sexy and seductive, but I think for longevity a white table will afford me the most possibilities. ANYTHING goes with a white tulip table. Anything.

See? It’s just as happy with traditional as with modern.

So now the question is marble or painted white. Both have their pros and cons. I’m going to call the sales rep today and let him try to talk me into the marble — it’s only $336 more so I’m going to splurge if I think it’s a sound purchase.

Will let you know how it goes.

And thank you for talking me out of the rugs. As much as I hate my tile, I just cannot make two big decisions at once.

You guys are the deciders and I love you.

[Casa Orlandi, Barrie Benson, Yatzer, Tom Scheerer, Barrie Benson, unknown, Decorno, Fawn Galli, Christian May, all via pinterest]

Ok guys and gals, I have two major decisions to make today. This would be doable, except that I am a used up, burned, crispy charred piece of toast. This weekend we cleaned, hauled trash, painted, and moved Ike into his big boy room. I woke up at 2am feeling like I had done a speedball — all hot and anxious and confused about where I was. This morning is not faring much better, and that is why I desperately need your help. Let’s get to it.

Decision #1: Buy a Damn Table Already

I am driving the poor sales rep at the furniture store crazy with my waffling, so I’m determined to order something today. Ok, but do I get a marble tulip table, a white painted tulip table, or a walnut tulip table?

Marble tulip cons:

Most expensive. Unknown quality — the table I’m getting will not be carrara, but some other unknown white marble with less veining (no pictures are available because the marble varies so much). Fragility — how does a giant elliptical piece of marble stay balanced on a small pedestal without breaking???! Staining — am I going to wish I had chosen something easier to maintain? Redundancy — I hope to get marble counters someday and I’m concerned about marble overload.

Pros:

IT’S MARBLE. Is marble overload even possible? I seriously lust after this table.

White painted table cons:

Diminished sex appeal — it’s basically white painted veneer. Unknown quality — no pictures of finished product available. Durability — will it chip and gouge out to reveal veneer underneath? Cleanability — can I scrub the crap out of this without abusing the finish? Length of ship time — it’ll probably take three months to get this table into my hot little hands… gross.

Pros:

Inexpensive (relatively). It’s plain white, so it’ll go with anything. Easier to move. Not concerned about breaking it.

Wood veneer cons:

Wood is bossy — rosewood or walnut will limit my chair options in a major way. Durability — this is veneer so will it gouge out? Not refinishable (veneer). It may clash with my (to be installed in the future) white oak floors.

Pros:

Relatively inexpensive. Available soon. Lighter than marble. Will not limit my counter choices.

Ok, which table should I buy?

Decision #2: Maybe Buy a Cheap Rug While They’re On Sale Today

West Elm has 15% off rugs today. I have sample for this denim and jute rug, and it’s cute but maybe a little juvenile with my coral/pink walls?

Look at me, I made a mockup. Shocking.

They also have plain jute flatwoven rugs. I’m looking at the fourth one down — the flax color. This is kind of boring, but it would allow me to do some fun seating upholstery. No mockup. Sorry, I got tired.

Meanwhile, Overstock is also having a sale. I like this two tone herringbone jute rug, but I’m concerned about staining. Is jute easy care, or is that only seagrass? I know sisal is the worst.

Finally, I could just not buy a rug. I would be missing out a bit on the sales, but perhaps I’m trying to make too many decisions at once…

Who, me?

Opinions? Concerns for my mental health?

I have to go to the doc in a few to do my third trimester blood sugar test… even though I haven’t gained much weight so far, I’m worried that my steady diet of donuts is about to backfire. Anyway, I may not be able to respond to your comments but I will be reading them while people stick needles in me and examine my hoohah.

It’s a good day all around.