After months of resisting the urge to buy another single solitary stick of furniture for this overstuffed house, I finally gave in to temptation. Craigslist has been wining and dining me with brass this and lucite that, but I stayed strong. Until something suddenly came up.
And now I have a seven foot long black leather grub worm in my kitchen/dining area.
I hope you will forgive the janky photos as I didn’t have a lot of time to play Richard Avedon this morning, but I think you can still make out the fact that I have a GIANT BLACK LEATHER THING IN MY DINING ROOM.
Actually, this “thing” is a Tobia Scarpa for Cassina chaise and matching ottoman (with labels!) that I scored for $75 including delivery. BLAMMO! It’s a pretty sweet deal considering that it should go for a minimum of 10x that price. If you could find one.
It do be having some issues, though. Like a missing button, and some scuffs and a few deep gouges. I think I’m going to order some leather dye and polish this bad boy up, but I don’t know what to do about the button. I’m totally open to advice on leather care.
But some day I’d really like to reupholster this behemoth because black leather is not the bizness — sorry, black leather lovers. Karly says it will be a nightmare, but how awesome would this be in a super slubby oatmeal linen?
Oh, you know… kinda like the ones Kelly Wearstler has in her fancy beach mansion. The mansion that she’s selling for 21.9 MILLION. Maybe she wants to buy my chair, too?
But I digress. It can’t be that hard to drape some fabric over the frame, wave your hands over the surface, and hey presto! this baby into life, right? Can I get an Amen?
But my biggest problem is that I bought a giant thing and I AINT GOT NOWHERES TO PUT IT, which is why it’s occupying its own zip code in my dining area. Shhhhhh, do not tell the Hunny about this little epiphany I just had, since he was totally against this really stupid purchase in the first place, and I do not feel like putting up with his I told you so shenanigans. But in my defense, this picture was dancing like a sugarplum in my head when I decided I just had to had to had to have it:
Thank you, Karl Anderson, for taking such a gorgeous stunning beautiful picture and making me buy this dumb thing I don’t need. You bastard.
Ok, I bet you thought this post was going to end right here, but you were so very wrong. It gets worse.
You see, along with the chaise I also bought this Pace Collection coffee table for another whopping $75. BLAMMO! Score! Plus the dude delivered it to my house along with the chaise, which is a big fat freaking deal, since it weighs 200 lbs. At least. Seriously, I do not want this thing to live in my cramped, overstuffed office, but now that it’s in there, it’s going to take an act of congress to move it.
(Sidenote: check out the teak desk (which used to be our dining table) raised up on blocks in the reflection of the chrome. This was the Hunny’s brilliant solution to a too low table that would not allow him to roll his chair underneath it. We are keeping it klassy at our house.)
So now I have a giant black thing in a place where no seat should be, plus a coffee table that I can’t move because it weighs more than me, Ben and Ike, stacked up like a pyramid of clowns on a bicycle. I took a picture of my finger next to the glass and chrome so you can see how thick it is. It’s probably going to drop through our floor any second.
So I’m thinking I could put the Scarpa chaise and ottoman against the wall where that futon (covered with a tapestry) is right now, and the futon will go live with someone else — which is no great loss since futons are hideous, worthless pieces of furniture, anyway. But before I can put the chaise there, I have to move the coffee table. UGH. I suppose the table can live at the end of my giant bed, which I promise to photograph someday after I clean my room, but that probably won’t happen anytime soon, so don’t hold your collective breath. You can’t have everything, you know.
I personally am taking a very deep breath right now, and I’m going to put on my magic brain cap and figure out how to solve this dilemma. I’m afraid the solution involves buying a bigger house, and that makes me all anxious in my innards, and now I feel an overwhelming sense of analysis paralysis.
I think I might just take a quick look at Craigslist instead.
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that IS a big hunka hunka glass! You always find the best stuff. Not sure about the chaise in place of the futon bc it seems like it should be freestanding. But until you get that bigger house, it could do.
Here’s a solution: Buy your mother-in-law’s house and use the extra 3 bedrooms to store all your Craigy finds until the day you will actually move into said house. In the meantime, avoid the tv shows “Hoarding” and “Hoarders” because you will be stabbed in the eyes and ears with knifelike guilt pains. Ooops. That was MY solution! Seriously, your purchases are stellar. You will love them the rest of your life and always be thrilled at your great bargains. I LOVE the knubby linen idea for your Cassina chaise. It will be fabulous!
AMEN! OK, I totally understand buyer’s remorse, but these are FABULOUS finds that deserve a hell to the yeah. It does mean something less dear to your heart may have to move out…but that’s all part of the gig, right? Raina could show you how to upholster that baby..and for now…just sew another black button on there and shine it up with some dye and polish and you’re golden. AMAZING finds.
Ok, ok, i like the slubby linen, sorry i doubted you. Everyone above is right except for the DIY upholstery suggestion. Take it from a gal who knows how to sew: leave that mammoth designer-recovery job to someone who has done it before. Even if it costs a lot, it’s still a gazillion times cheaper than buying the set from a dealer.
Also, I can help you with the button for now, you just need to find a small piece of black leather and we can fix it up real quick like.
That table is INSANE and looks hefty enough to survive Ike’s future impromptu tap dance recitals.
And you already know what I think of the Cassina pieces.
The futon should be Craig-ed immediamente. If you’re still too crowded, feel free to ship your new pieces up to the Denver warehouse (my house).
I am starting a “Our wives keep buying furniture” support group. Spread the word.
Anders, shhhhhhhh, you need to keep this shit on the dl!
Naomi, the chaise in place of futon is not the best solution in the universe, but we are (hopefully) moving to a bigger house soon, so it’ll just have to work for now. And I hate that futon.
I really wish I were an upholstery queen, because it’s going to cost a fortune. Anyone have a great cheap fabric resource? The fabric alone is going to kill me.
Good stuff! Can’t wait to see what happens w/the upholstery.
Also, the grammar in this post reminds me of the second panel in this comic:
http://www.overcompensating.com/comics/20100414.png
It hurts my brains.
Whoa, was this on Austin Craig’s?
Hi Stacee and welcome. Yes it was!
Ainsley, I am working hard to put my lit degree to good use
Erin, I have the very best CHEAPO fabric source in the whole wide world. It’s where fabric goes to die. Fabric World. All upholstery is $3.99/yard. Most of it is crap, but just sometimes you score big. If you want to send me samples of comparable fabrics, I can stalk the store and call you from there if I find something. Their stock changes every couple of days and you just have to happen upon a find. Here was my last buy and it’s unbelievably good: http://tinyurl.com/y379wgb
Also, I just learned of http://www.modern-fabrics.com out of North Carolina for discounts on commercial-quality upholstery. And then there’s http://www.designdivafabrics.com which is super hit or miss and the real bargains are only if you buy the entire bolt. http://www.lsfabrics.com/fabric_catalog.php?cPath=1_37 is here in Atlanta. There a fabric called “slubby linen” that you might like and another named “Erin.” Seriously. If you need me to check anything out in person, I’ll use any excuse to buzz by there.
Susie, you know I had you in mind when I sent out the Bat signal, right? How could I forget your EPIC KW fabric score?! It was AMAZING.
Anyway, I’m going to check out some of the online sources and see what I come up with. I’m afraid the fabric I want is going to be very, very, very expensive. If I get desperate, I’ll call on your fabric world hunting skills to get the job done right.
THANKS so much for your help!
I have never written (sorry) but enjoy your posts. This one was over the top and my seams are busting from laughter. If ever there were a first time to have to write..this is the one! Enjoy your new pieces..!
Your super sleuthing skills have proved exceptional yet again, Williamson. I may have a cheap upholsterer…will let you know!
P.S. If you ever spy a cool swag light or coffee table you think I might like (pretty much the same taste as you and Karly) please please let me know
congrats! congrats! they will blend-in in no time! i am constantly on houston cl and when i press “r” the computer KNOWs that i am ’bout to type roche bobois and same story with “c” and “l”… yeah.. no hits yet, but someday.. someone is going to be chunking out a togo in river oaks for the bargain price of $75 and it will be mine…. hee hee
I don’t have any advice, but this post was hilarious.
Susan, you are a genius! I have seen a few RB pieces here, but they were all overwrought Italian, not sleek and classic.
Ingrid, THANKS for taking the time to comment! It made my day
Andrea, you already know I am on it, since I just emailed you some stuff n things.
Cassie, thanks for the niceness! You are awesome, so I extra appreciate the love.
Sometimes those bargains come back to bite you on the tocas. Actually, you sound a lot like my wife who just can never resist a bargain. And I keep saying, but what are we going to USE this for? Practical always marries Visionary, you ever notice that?
Loved the post and will be watching for your ‘resolve’ (lol).
That thing is huge! But I agree it will look better in a lighter color that doesn’t scream so much for attention. Looks comfy! And I feel your pain too – once you start bargain hunting for furniture, nothing can make you stop, even small details like a complete lack of space.
I get your dilemma, I really do, my closets and every drawer, door and cabinet are concealing just such purchases. But still, I gotta say, girl you done good. I wouldn’t have passed those goodies up either.
At those prices, you had no choice really. Space is overrated.
That has got to be the most comfortable looking chaise I’ve ever seen and the table is so glam. Well done, Erin!!
Congratulations! That is a BIG score! That chaise goes for $75x $100. Not only are those hot, HOT right now, they are among the most expensive and desired pieces by collectors. But you know all that.
You are my hero!!
and i thought i was the only one buying items for my “future” home. the difference with me though is that i store the stuff at my sister’s and parents’ basements. i can’t fess up to my husband that i do this. but you can’t pass up a deal…that would be a sin! btw, you’re hilarious!
this was an amazing post! it’s October 2010, where was I in April? Anywho, one of my dearest and closest people in my life sent me this post. She was a designer for Pace, she might have even designed that very table. Both pieces are classics and you should hold on to them until the day where you are able to “do it right!” Congrats and I hope the table hasn’t fallen through your floor yet…
Please tell your friend that she is a genius, and that Pace pieces are still some of my favorites, ever. Now, if I could just find a matching pair of chrome end tables….
Just so you know, the pace table is not chrome plated. PACE was known for not chrome plating much, if not anything, in their collection. It is actually polished stainless steel!! This coffee table was well over 5k when it was being manufactured in the 70′s and 80′s. Good find!! $75 well spent.
Ok, now I love it even more! It does have a few small chips in the glass — any ideas on how to fix them? It would cost a fortune to have that super thick glass replaced.