Our beautiful new wood floors are in, but unfortunately since they’re slathered in a thick coating of stinking oil based polyurethane, I’m sitting next to the window with fans blowing my hair out like a fashion model (and now my hair is far too glamorous for my pajamas and unscrubbed visage), trying to avoid going on a polyurethane gas trip. It’s cold outside. My fingers are numb and now I’ve got a sore throat. I really wish I were staying here:
Ahhh… The Propeller Island City Lodge, located in Berlin, features this luxurious yet spare room replete with fluffy clouds! and clean (polyurethane) gas free sheets! Oh, happy warm sunlight and fresh air!
Yet somehow I have descended down into the seventh level of renovation hell, wherein I have no sink, no stove, no access to tv (!!!) and my home is full of dust and toxic off gassing. It’s like an acid trip gone horribly wrong, and I’m a thinkin’ the Propeller’s other rooms are more reflective of my current state of mind.
Yes, the Padded Cell room is particularly fitting right now, although perhaps the Therapy Room could save me from certain restraint.
You see, crazy artist Lars Stroschen opened The Propeller with a vision, a vision of utterly insane fantastic interiors. Each of the 45 rooms has a different theme, ranging from the serene Temple Room:
To the bizarrely disorienting Topsy Turvy Room:
To the abject horror of finding yourself locked in a sanitarium, aka the Wrapped Room:
Some of the rooms are less hair raising. I could use a dip in the Orange Room:
Filled with sunny optimism, I would bask in the glow of my self worth. Rejuvenated by the healing powers of orange, I would heroically go out into the world ready to take on anything. Except floor refinishing.
And who doesn’t love castles? Is this the perfect honeymoon suite or what? Ok, maybe the kiddie graphics are more playful than romantic (although I’m not judging if you think otherwise), but they’re better than this:
Dear gawd, a mirrored Bucky Ball with a bed in the middle of it! I for one do not need that many angles on my ass. Unless it’s pitch black in there, in which case mon derriere c’est magnifique! Whew, I think the fumes are talking… This is what they’re saying to me:
You CAN read that, right?
Perhaps I just need a little love and attention from dear, sweet Grandma, who inexplicably has her very own room at the Propeller. Dear Grandma, I would like some hot lemonade and peace and quiet. This may involve turning that creepy stunning portrait of you towards the wall. Is that ok?
I’ve been feeling a bit wan and pasty from the winter so I wouldn’t mind spending some time chillin in the Space Room, where I could work on my tan 24 hours a day. Or for about 15 minutes before I turned into an Irish potato french fry.
I may fare better in the Landscapes Room, which features picture windows and skylights along with strange wavy walls. Nah, I can see all that right here at home. Especially the wavy, moving walls.
I could stay in the Hollywood Room, but for some terrifying reason the bathroom is translucent and red. Enough said.
I could stay in the Blue Room, but the funhouse mirrors at home already freak me out, so I don’t really want them wall mounted in order to facilitate easier viewing.
I could stay in the Two Lions Room because it actually has a gorgeous bathroom with a clawfoot tub.
However, I don’t really think that the beds, er, I mean raised cages, would really suit my needs, although I am a typical Leo and every now and then I need to be put in my place.
No, where I really want to stay is at home, in my own comfortable bed with my own snuggly pillow and my blankie (I’m not the only one with a blankie, am I?). Sadly, I think I’m going to have to bust out of the Prison Room for the day and wait for the fumes to air out. Otherwise, I might end up in the Coffin Room:
So if I’ve been a little absent from the blogosphere, it’s because I’m trying to avoid certain death. No biggie. But I’ll be back on Thursday in full force with a kitchen update, to prove to myself that almost dying was worth it.
Related posts:
Jeebus H Christ on a popsicle stick.
That place is The Madonna Inn (http://design-crisis.com/?p=227) meets “A Clockwork Orange.”
P.S. Treat yourself to a couple days away at a hotel (or Chez Hand). Gummi Bear needs fume-free livin’.
Haha, crazy beyond belief… Wonder what kinds of dreams you’d have in those rooms?
Still there’s loads of intriguing things to draw inspiration from such as different levels within a room and why not go old school with newspapers as wallpaper?
I thought I was being adventurous in the bedroom with fuzzy handcuffs. This guy is CCRRAAAAZZYYY. I don’t think you are the only one inhaling happy gases. Be careful with the fumes. I would hate to come over to your house for dinner and find myself sitting on chairs wrapped in straight jackets and eating off of a coffin. Good luck. Talk to you soon.
Holy Lord, that place really exists?! When I make my reservation, do I get to choose my room? I would be nonplussed were I to hope for the padded cell or that serene temple room only to find my key turning the lock to the wrapped room (which is quite possibly the most disturbing room on the planet).
I like Raina’s interp of it! I have seen and saved that padded room picture before, but forgot where it was from. I think this place needs a few actually attractive to sleep in rooms to counterbalance all the psycho schtick, but that’s just me.
Hi Daniel and welcome! There are definitely some good decorating ideas in these twisted rooms. I like the idea of a padded tufted wall, perhaps just not so claustrophobically close to the bed. But, yeah, it’s crazy town for sure.
WPZ, there are a few cute rooms, but those weren’t as interesting so I carefully edited them out…
Raina, the fumes are much better today, and I promise I spent yesterday away or in front of breezy windows. I joke about inadvertently going on a polyurethane acid trip, but somehow nothing gets to be inadvertent when you’re preggers.
Patrick, are you SURE you would hate those ideas, because the straight jacketed chair idea is really growing on me
Karly, we could always share the Two Lions Room. What do you say?
Holy hell, these rooms are some scary shiz. The cages are the winner. I’m a leo too, but keep me away from that terrifying room unless I get to sleep in the tub.
I hope you get those fumes out of your house, if not, I love hotel beds. Well, when they aren’t like something from a Rob Zombie film. Seriously, treat yourself.
Glad to hear the floor is going well minus the smell! Ohhh these are some very interesting rooms – ones I would like and some I might go a little crazy in!
The temple room conjurs up Mayan or Inca sacrificial altars. The Lion Room is perfect for the S&M crowd. Creeeeppppyyyyy!
Those Germans, they’re a kooky bunch, huh? Hope your casa is de-fumed and that precious fetus is breathing only rose-scented air…just keep telling yourself “it’s all worth it,” really, it is!
There is some interesting stuff here. Some of the rooms are amazing…and the others uhhhh (coffin?) speak for themselves…lol
I myself and most disturbed by the coffin room, if only because those coffins look to be VERY precariously perched. NOT what I look for when spending my hard earned dollars on travel.
Ugh, substitute “am” for “and” in that first sentence.
Yep, some very scary rooms. That’s what my house looks like to me right now.
And Connie, I’ve missed you
One of my first posts on Double Takes was about this place. It is so incredible! I just keep thinking what an experience (so many, rather) one could have with a week at this hotel! Great post ladies!
padded room gave me flashbacks. great post as usual. you crack me up.
where DOOOO you find this amazing stuff?!?
is it possible I’m the only one to comment on the BED WITH THE GIANT MIRROR OVER IT? Or am I just more gutter-brained than the rest of your readership?
I think I could handle the cloud room, but that’s about it!
Baby-to-be must leave toxic house.
It’ll all be over soon.
These padded cells are crazy, indeed.
Holy moly, I go to dinner for a few hours and you peeps have been commenting it up! THANKS!!!
Lauren, I had no idea you posted this, but I’m not surprised since you’re AWESOME.
Sherri and HG, the padded cell is freaky, but oddly comforting to me. Hmm…
Gracie, I need to get a real job. Badly.
Nerf, that place is covered in creepy mirrors, and I am avoiding those rooms at all costs!
FF, I hear ya!
And to all, the house is now stink free. I spent the day outdoors in lovely fresh air, enjoying the 70 degree winter in Austin. Toxic meltdown averted!
I don’t think I could stay at that hotel. Wow.
I would gladly take a room at the Ace Hotel (http://www.acehotel.com/).
Hi Corey!
Yes, the Ace is gorgeous, but why not take a walk on the wild side? Come on, you know you want to sleep in a coffin, right?
Erin, step AWAY from the polyurethane now! At least sleeping in one of those coffins would be better.
No worries… it’s all fresh air today!
thanks for this post! we take ourselves too seriously most of the time..it was refreshing to read a design blog and laugh at the same time..and btw those looking for inspiration the colors were terrific!
Thanks and welcome Sue! We have occasional bouts of seriousness here, but we try to keep them few and far between.
My fiancee and I stayed here a few years ago. We had hoped for the “Flying Bed” room, but it was booked so we settled for the “4 Beams” room. Worth noting is that the front desk has pictures of all the rooms. By the photo of the Coffin room, there is a note that reads “No sex in the coffins, please. -the management.” Something tells me that if you are the type of person who wants to stay in that room, you are the type of person who would find that note very disappointing. Also, I would hate to think of the incident that initially prompted the management to write the note.
Russ, your comment made my day! Welcome, and come back to visit anytime.
Some of these rooms hurt my head to think of spending a night in them!