While in Hawaii, my mom twisted my rubber arm into touring the furniture megacomplex that is Inspiration Interiors. I think she said something to the effect of, “There’s a giant life sized horse with a lamp on its head!” Oh, you mean this horse? The horse that Karly has been obsessed with for years?

Dudes, I kid you not: I walked around with my jaw dragging the ground like a neanderthal for entire time I cruised the showroom. And I felt like little more than an uncivilized cretin when I looked at the price tags, because every piece seemed more expensive, more rarefied than the next. Inspiration houses wares by Mooi, Front Design, B&B Italia, Fendi Casa,and de Sede, among other more mid range brands like Bo Concept and Natuzzi. It’s like a who’s who for the uber rich decor set.

Do you have any idea how much a new de Sede Endless sofa costs? Now, I have been in love with this sofa from way back — check my credentials here — but I’m just going to put it out of my mind because it costs FIFTY THOUSAND dollars. Yep. $50,0000. My youngest brother was totally nonplussed by this information, and already has plans to buy up the entire showroom once he makes his first billion.

Meanwhile, my other brother was utterly appalled by the prices. Coming at it from a woodworker/craftsman’s perspective, he just couldn’t reconcile $16,000 for a Fendi chandelier or $20,000 for a Fendi crocodile embossed dining table with the cost of the materials or the time and effort that went into producing the pieces.

He probably wouldn’t be into paying $1200 for a sparkly Fendi pillow, either, and I can’t say I disagree with him on that point.

And then there’s this $26,000 sofa that my mom is obsessed with. The back moves around the perimeter to form different seating configurations, which is cool, but the piece really isn’t that big. I can’t imagine paying $26,000 for such a wee little guy. Ok, if I had $26,000 to spend. Because I would probably buy a car instead. Scratch that — I wouldn’t even spend that much on a car.

Now I know I’m cheap and I get a thrill from scoring big off craigslist, and maybe it’s just impoverished sour grapes on my part, but does this B&B Italia chair really have to cost $8,000? Because I kind of like it. But I doubt I would pay even $800 for a chair that you can’t sit in on the showroom floor. I guess she’s a delicate flower.

There were some “bargains,” though. Maarten Baas‘ iconic, singed works were surprisingly affordable, as in the chandelier has less than four numbers in the price.

It was kind of an incredible experience to view all these ridiculously expensive pieces in the same location, because I don’t think you could see a single thing I’ve written about in person in Austin. It was also rather depressing to realize that these lust worthy things — things that Karly and I have written about and obsessed over for years — are utterly unattainable for us regular folk.

If not us, then who buys this stuff? Well, not this thing — I don’t want to know who has $5000 to blow on a boxing glove chaise. Whoever buys that deserves to be punched in the ass.

Nice though it may be, who can afford to buy this?

Or this?

You know, who besides the (admittedly scrumptious) restaurant housed in the same complex that is furnished entirely by Mooi? (Aside: Wow! Butts!)

In response to my brother’s perplexity, my sister in law remarked that what you’re paying for is not necessarily the materials, but the design. I couldn’t agree more, but I also have to wonder at the sanity of charging $50,000 for a couch in the midst of a huge recession. I mean, man I love that couch — I want to marry it and have endless de Sede babies. Or, at least I did until I saw the price, but I have to say the sheer nerve of it kind of killed my boner. Which is not to say that I wouldn’t snatch that puppy up if I found it on Craigslist.

Or, as Karly would say, if only it were a tenth of the price.

WOMAN, MAN AND BABY HELD HOSTAGE BY BAD PARKING AND OVERWHELMING SELECTION AT OUTLET MALL

This weekend, a tragic confluence of heat, hunger and exhaustion, struck a local family while attempting to shop at a San Marcos outlet mall on Sunday. Apparently, they were unaware that shopping at the Tanger Outlet on a weekend could be incredibly hazardous to their health. When asked what had prompted such a dangerous excursion, they cited this deal, purchased by a friend at the Crate and Barrel outlet:

Although Central Texas is devoid of CB2 stores, the Crate and Barrel outlet does carry a number of returned CB2 pieces, including the Uno sectional which said friend purchased for significantly less than half price. After learning of her friend’s purchase, the unidentified woman enticed her family to head south in search of this sofa:

The woman stated that she felt the possibility of encountering a CB2 Piazza sofa was worth the trip, and hoped to find a returned model for purchase at a lower price. In fact, there was a Piazza sofa at the Crate and Barrel outlet, but it seems the woman was upset to find that it looked nothing like the pictures in the magazine:

She said, “This is not the luxe, Euro styled sofa I have obsessed over for months! This is a lumpy piece of [curses] that looks and feels like a cheap, unfolded futon.”

When asked if there were any redeeming factors to her otherwise foolhardy trip, she said, “Have you been to the Pottery Barn/Williams Sonoma/West Elm outlet? It’s really really really big.”

It appears that the Pottery Barn outlet carries a significant amount of home furnishings at a discount, but the woman did complain about the prices and quality. “The West Elm pieces were chipped and disfigured, the Pottery Barn couches looked stodgy and old, and the Williams Sonoma furniture is priced for the rich and famous. I mean, who would pay $2500 for a desk at an outlet mall?” She also indicated that there may be some contentious issues of taste:

She said, “Holy [curses]! Look at all that coral! Coral, I tell you! And LOBSTER PILLOWS!” [Emphasis added]

When asked how she survived such a treacherous trip fraught with heat, expensive yet tasteless furnishings, and angry family members, she replied, “Well, there was a guy who gave us a free beer. He said I looked really thirsty. Oh, and I bought a waffle maker. Waffles and beer! They pretty much saved the day.”

Thankfully the situation seems to have been resolved peacefully and without any long term ill effects. Updates will be posted as we receive more details.

I’m never too busy to shop. So despite the fact that we are still cleaning cupcake frosting off the ceiling following Ike’s first birthday party, I found a minute or two to sneak in some internet time. And it’s a good thing, because 20×200 has been busting out the jamz. If you were Johnny on the spot, you may have snagged some cheap prints by heavy hitters like the Starn Twins and William Wegman, most of which are already sold out. But I am far and away more excited to tell you that Roger Ballen has recently editioned an image, and the small sizes are still available.

A Roger Ballen print for $50! Dudes, that is crazy. Buy it here.

If you’ve never heard of Roger Ballen, it’s ok. He’s not as famous as the Starn Twins or William Wegman, but he should be. Since the 1970s, Ballen has been photographing rural villages and their inhabitants in South Africa. Ballen’s photos are riddled with metaphors, icons, and wild dreamlike tableaux. Recalling works as disparate as Aaron Siskind and Ralph Eugene Meatyard, the results are often both poetic and disturbing.

Weird? Yes. Awesome? Hell yes.

Ok, friends, I’m off to 20×200 to buy that print, pronto. Oh, and psssssst: the also excellent Eirik Johnson (who I’ve written about here and here) has a new print coming out this Wednesday, July 14th, so be sure to check it out.

Back Wednesday with an interiors post, I promise…

After getting contacted by a professional organizer from the Hoarders show (seriously!), I figured it might be time to confront my “issues” and punch them straight in the face. Ok, and I will sheeplishly admit that I bought yet another couch that we have absolutely no use for, and Ben finally said that enough was bleeping enough. So we spent this past weekend rearranging furniture, photographing stuff for craigslist, and dealing with a fair amount of flaky beeyotches (and some super nice folks, too). I sold half of it, but I thought I might share a few pieces of the hoard with you — mostly for your entertainment, and also to see if you want any of this crap beautiful furniture for your home. You know you do.

I mean, who would not want this king sized peach taffeta tufted headboard with matching coverlet? Gents, just try to stop yourselves from emailing me RIGHT NOW to reserve this bad boy. This sucker begs for strawberries and fine fine champagne in bed — not that we would ever mar this baby with our own foodstuffs.

No sir. Just look — pristine and smooth as a baby’s butt. Kind of even looks like one.

How about four vintage Saarinen style captain’s chairs? Sure, they are cushionless and could use a good cleaning. Sure, for some inexplicable reason the top lifts completely out of the base when you try to pick them up (anyone out there know how to fix this?). But there are four of them. And they are hard to find. Buy them. Please.

I’m just going to give these vintage lamps to one of my friends if I can’t sell them. That’s how little I care about them. Oops, I mean, “that will be $60 for the pair, please.”

On the other hand, I would like to get approximately one brazillion dollars for my gigantic Italian glass Marbro lamp. I didn’t even bother putting it on craigslist because I know some chump would just offer me $25 for it, and that would make me very cranky. Anyone know a good dealer?

Enough with the depressing stuff that didn’t sell. Let’s talk about my success stories.

I made a tidy little profit off our Danish table and six janky broken chairs, sold to a guy who sweet talked me into holding it for him by bribing me with Momma cookies. He turned out to be a dealer AND I didn’t get no cookies. Well, at least I’m 99% sure he was a dealer. He never actually admitted it, but he didn’t deny it when I asked him point blank. He did say that it was for his own home, but I think that was a dirty dirty lie.

Should we talk about craigslist ethics, here? I mean, I don’t mind working with dealers, but why lie about it? Don’t be a shady bastard.

I would have to say the highlight of my weekend was selling our Mulhauser Mr. Chair to a guy who really really likes it. Plus it was his birthday and he was really hungover, which was extertaining. Plus he really liked our house, and is thinking of buying something near our neighborhood… So, in my fantasies I have already sold our house and most of the remaining contents to him and his nice wife, while the hunny and I retire to the country, comforted by the fact that our beloved ex-home is in good hands.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to be alone with my fantasies, please.

As you can imagine, the largest decor undertaking in my house right now is la bambino’s room.  In fact, I was more stressed about how to decorate it then I was about whether he’d be a boy or a girl (I figured I had no control over that).  Over the last few months I’ve already picked up quite a few prints that will eventually form the little dude’s first cluster art wall.  Don’t you just think he’s going to be so excited to come home to all this:

Since he’s going to be born in the year of the tiger (as was his father, uncle, grandfather, great grandfather and great grandmother) I thought we should pay homage with a few pieces of tiger art.  Note: THIS ROOM IS NOT TIGER THEMED, just tiger friendly.  This print, rock candy, was found by Erin and purchased by me in approximately 2.2 seconds.

Continuing the tiger non-theme I also grabbed this year of the tiger print from the same shop.

And finally, I picked up Tiger Phone from the Two Rabbits Studios booth at the Renegade Craft Fair.

In fact, all the remaining prints were picked up at renegade.  If you have one happening in your area, I highly suggest you go.

Because I am having a wee little baby, I thought I should get a few little-kid friendly prints too.  Not just a bunch of insane tigers.  I grabbed this beep beep bike print from Tad Carpenter.

This 2-part pink monster is also by Tad Carpenter, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find it on his site and I think he’s sold out.

And because I bought so much at his booth, Tad threw this tiny bird print in for zero dollars.  Thanks, Tad!

Having stocked up on some baby goodies, I felt like I could return to my crazy art comfort zone.  I bought this Will Bryant print at the Public School booth.

And finally, because babies go goo goo ga ga over black and white prints, stimulating their little brains straight into mensa, I picked up this crazy eye print for the little dude.

Don’t be scared if you feel like some of these don’t go together, remember we have several walls to work with here.  Anything that doesn’t make the baby’s room cut will land in my office, but overall I’m feeling good.  I think he’s just going to swoon when he comes home!

That’s right, my thoroughbred friends — we’ve got an equestrian themed GIVEAWAY in honor of Karly’s sold out edition of Horsey prints! This one comes courtesy of the fine folks at CSN Stores, who sell everything from bathroom vanities to Knoll and Kartell housewares through their mammoth collection of 200+ stores. I’m sure you can imagine that sifting through 489,654 items before selecting La Horsey was quite the sweaty herculean task, but it’s ok. Don’t worry about me. Everything I do, I do it for you.

Now that I’ve drummed up an appropriate amount of sympathy and lodged a ridiculous Bryan Adams tune in your collective head, let’s move on to the good stuff!

Just look at those sweet baleful eyes… who wouldn’t want to give this little guy (or gal) a good home?

Measuring a substantial 22 x 22 inches square, our equine friend is hand screened with java colored ink onto jute, finished with leather piping, and stuffed silly — because no one wants a skinny pony. Our lucky winner can display him (or her) whether they be old money or poorgeoisie — this pillow has legs. Somewhere.

The Brass Tacks: Enter to win this FREE Thomas Paul pillow, valued at $80, by naming the horsey in the comment box below. That’s right — all you have to do is NAME THIS HORSEY to win a FREE Thomas Paul pillow. You have until Sunday, May 30, at 12 noon CST, to leave your comment below. A random number generator will choose the winner, who will be announced on Memorial Day, Monday the 31st. Sorry, due to shipping constraints, this contest is only open to US and Canadian residents. Please enter only once, but feel free to tell your friends and neighbors, announce this contest on facebook, and tweetaleet all about this bizness. We’re looking forward to some excellent names, the best of which will be announced along with the winner, because bragging rights are almost as good as a free pillow right? Right?

Now saddle up and get cracking. Yee haw!

We have reached the unfortunate time in the Austin weather cycle where local residents have 2 choices: retreat indoors or crowd into Barton Springs. Our 2 weeks of spring have ended and it’s officially hot here. Bleck. But hope springs high in the form of this weekends first ever Renegade Craft Fair hosted, ahem, indoors

After years of shows across the country, renegade craft has finally made it’s way south to austin and is bringing 200 + indie crafters with it. I know that indie crafter often means a booth full of crochet rock koozies, but Renegade is a juried show which helps to leave the hand felted ipod replica makers at home where they belong. Or so I’ve heard. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself

Even yours truly will be there selling screen prints. I’ll be splitting a booth with my fellow craft mafia members, which is basically an excuse for me to get the hell out of my backyard demo and catch up on some much needed gossip.

The craft fair is this saturday and sunday from 11 am – 7pm at the palmer events center. Hope to see you there.

Oh, PS, speaking of prints, I only have THREE HORSEYS LEFT in the whole world. Buy the last ones never to be printed again here.

I like Craigslist. A lot. Ok, this much:

See there? That’s my bookmarking system, and its wee arteries are clogged with cheap lamps and tables that I cannot possibly squeeze into my home. So I’m just going to go ahead and toss a few gems your way. If you live near Austin, wheeeee! Enjoy some bargains. But first I have some gifts for those of you who live elsewhere — I’m going to call this selection of junque the Craigslist Razzies. Because this kind of crap annoys the hell out of me.

Gosh, who am I kidding? I am just dying to own this golden console overrun by chubby cherubs, complete with a matching cherub studded silver mirror. Apparently the artist also designed Pope John Paul II’s throne. Wow! Bonus! And it’s only $4000.

I am something of a spelling nazi, so when I see “rod iron” I want to smash an anvil through my computer screen, because it’s wrought iron, people. WROUGHT, as in forged. Also, wtf is a “mirrow?” Only through context have I gleaned that it somehow means mirror to a scarily high percentage of people out there. But “provintial” is a whole new trainwreck.

Sigh. This has been posted for months and months and months. Maybe it’s because that fabric + that chair = utterly and completely wrong. I feel bad about dissing it because I know that someone actually put effort into this project, but then I feel angry that such a lovely chair was maimed beyond recognition. It kind of makes me want to claw my eyes out.

Ok, this person has highly questionable taste in sofas, which is FINE. Sometimes I like to listen to Moby. We all have our flaws. But when you advertise your fugly crap like it is the shiznit for months on end, and never ever lower the price, well then you, sir, suck. No one is ever ever going to buy that pea green poo for $800, so don’t act like you’re doing someone a favor by being “willing to part with it, to a good home.” I’m sorry, I meant to say: let me just hustle on down to your house so I can submit my application!

Speaking of people who are batshit insane, let me just give you a little background on this sofa — Crate and Barrel’s Petrie. It’s a lovely couch, and Karly was thinking about purchasing it new from C&B, so hey, why not try to score it for less on CL? But of course the seller wants $1500, and WILL NOT BUDGE on the price. So, lemme see, that’s $100 off of C&B’s price for a new sofa that can be ordered in your choice of fabric, will not be covered in someone else’s cat hair and popcorn farts, and could be paid for on a credit card.

SCORE!!!

Awww, I have a special place in my heart for this beauty. And I quote, “Carmen electra has the exact same bed, you can see it on cribs. hand forged by famous craftsman, with blue velevet & candle holders go into posts, sweet for setting the mood:)”

So. many. wrong. things. But hey, guess what? It’s only $700. The post states it does need cleaning, though.

Yes. I’m quite sure that it does.

Ok, enough with the scary stuff. I’m no SusieQ over at Eye Spy, but from time to time I do find a few goodies. I usually harass Karly with 800 emails enticing her to buy them, but she is highly resistant. It kind of hurts my feelings. I mean bargain goods are like my baby children (no offense to Ike… there’s enough love to go around for everyone). Anyway, I hope that someone out there can love these little guys as much as I do.

Teak loveseat and TWO matching chairs for $399. Snatch it up before Room Service does, because as much as I adore them, their entire inventory seems to be coming from Craigslist these days.

Lamps for $10 each. $10 for that gold mid mod eyeball lamp! TEN.

I know it’s not for everyone, but I think this sofa is so awesome. Love the tribal print and the wrapped legs. $200, but it’s been listed for a while, so offer less.

Pair of Pace tables for $250. Offer less. If I didn’t already have that behemoth of a coffee table, or if there were a pair of end tables, these would be MINE.

Sweet little chrome and glass dining table for $50. Offer less.

Lane walnut two tier coffee table for $90. Offer less.

This isn’t really my style, but it’s pretty insane. Awesome 50’s king sized lacquered mahogany bed. It also separates into two twin beds. $550, but yes — you should offer less.

Ok, that’s it for my marathon run through Austin Craigslist. If anyone out there buys any of my finds, let us know and send in a picture of it in its new home, and I’ll post it. Nothing would make me happier than to disperse my addiction elsewhere. Because I just can’t keep storing stuff in the garage.

Hot on the heels of SXSW comes another Texas sized festival — the Round Top antiques fair. Neither Karly nor I were sure we could make it this year, but hooray! Fortune prevailed. On Saturday morning we said good bye to the menfolk (who were not disappointed in the slightest about being left behind), grabbed our pal Diana, gorged ourselves on sugary cream cheese kolaches, and then headed out in search of treasure.

After hours and hours of weaving from booth to booth, Karly and I both scored a few items, but nothing big this year. Sadly, Diana went home empty handed, which is oddly easy to do at Round Top. There is so much stuff there that it’s easy to get glazed over and just shut down. I’m still mighty tired from all the walking in the heat, so this post is gonna be short on words, but no need to worry: I went a little berzerker with the old point and shoot this year, so it will be crazy long on images. Enjoy!

Stuff I almost bought:

Pair of what look to be Adrian Pearsall for Craft Associates chairs upholstered in houndstooth fabric for $375. Cool, but pricey, and I have no place for them right now.

Brass swan faucet that Karly spied for $75, and large painting for $200. I may kick myself for not getting that faucet, but I just don’t have a place for it right now, plus it needs refinishing. The painting was done in 1930 and has an awesome old money feel, but it was damaged and the douchey seller wouldn’t come down. His loss.

Stuff we bought:

Huge revolutionary drummer boy painting for Ike’s room for $45. SCORE!

Karly got these Seven Deadly Sins dessert plates for practically nothing.

I also bought a big white globe swag lamp for over the kitchen sink, but I forgot to take a picture of it. Hopefully The Hunny can wire it up soon and I’ll capture it in situ, along with my “new” shelves that I’ve been threatening to post for months.

Here we are near the end of the day. Karly has on her sessy face, and I look like a kid that got caught playing with daddy’s creepy Kaiser hat. We had an awesome time, but I am glad to be at home on the couch, in the air conditioning.

Happy Monday, dudes!

You dudes may remember that not even an entire month ago I got my act together and finally put my horse print up for sale on etsy.  Well, it was such a darn good time I’ve gone and done it again.

Lasers in General is my newest piece, printed in (ahem) METALLIC GOLD and black, he’s 26″ of pure shiny federalist awesomeness.  Limited edition prints are for sale on etsy HERE.  Why do they cost less than the horsey?  Because it’s smaller and was much easier and less expensive to print.  Bada bing.

Thank you, Erin, for your lovely photography and styling skillz.  Don’t you guys j’adore the eagle lamps with the general print?  Can I get a whatwhat?

CLICK HERE to check out Lasers in General on Etsy

And to grab one of the last horsey prints, CLICK HERE