Lately my thoughts on design have been filled with more questions than answers:  Should i go with 2 small or one large coffee table?  Box-up, display, or hock the knickknacks I’ve been carting around for years?  And, most importantly, when to say when with a teddy bear colletion:

Psst, I’m pretty sure the answer is one.  Or a million.  Shit I don’t even know.  I kinda sorta like how 80 gazillion raggedy bears create a textural, bizarre landscape in this otherwise simple space.  But then again, they’re teddy bears.  And then we must consider that they are in the same home as these displays:

Someone likes collections.  On one hand I appreciate the restraint with which all these groupings are displayed.  Despite the fact that Mr. Homeowner also owns 452 canes and 347 magazines (my figures) the place is still pretty spiffy and looks nothing like the vintage shops most collector’s homes resemble.  But, then again, these are canes and bears we’re talking about here.

And glasses, let’s not forget that we need 18 thousand glasses.  I saw a wide shot of this room and that cupboard is like 90 feet high, this is only a third of the glassware.  That bird is like head level to me if that helps put it into perspective.  Why not 4,000 birds you ask?  Fear not

For there are at least 782 quail on the premises.  And, if my design logic is correct these puppies are smack-dab behind teddy bear alley.

But, then again there is this Jesus on the Cross right below a fossilized fish, so there’s that.

What do you say?  Are 433 canes appropriate?  Should I keep all those stupid knickknacks of mine?  And what about the double / single coffee table dilemma?  Sorry, you get no visual on that.  Go with your gut.

Yesterday I realized that I’ve been moving like a zombie through life, with no time to do anything other than the bare minimum of dishes, laundry, child care, work, autopilot blog posts, rinse and repeat. With my first few minutes to spare in what seems like eons burning a hot hole in my pocket, I scooped up Ike and headed to the thrift store. Ah, the thrift store — a smelling salt strong enough to bring even the grayest zombie back to pink and rosy liveliness. A creamy salve soothing enough to heal any wound. Too bad it doesn’t do taxes and toilets, but a quick trip to the thrift store will fix just about any other problem I’ve got going on with its miraculous selection of crap I don’t need but desperately crave. It satisfies my inner hoarder, and cheaply at that.

Anyway, I bought a heavy vintage vase covered in gorgeous green glaze, one that speaks to me of precious emeralds and malachite mysteries. This ain’t the best picture, but y’all get the drift.

If you’ve been struggling just to tread water lately like I have, then I hope you find some time this weekend to hit your local thrift and uncover a treasure that speaks directly to your heart.

Hopefully for less than $5.

My new virtual bud and soon to be Austinite Rosie just sent me an email brimming with urgency, and when I saw the item in question my head almost exploded. Check it:

“Looking for some sound advice: I bought the attached chrome/mirrored sideboard on Ebay, and was chagrined to find that the seller left out some condition details: there’s a light coating of hardened schmutz in various spots on the doors (Actually somewhat visible in the pic). I tried to scrape it off (bad idea) and am considering Goof-off, but am nervous about using it. Any other ideas?”

First of all, ZOMG! Did you really just buy that? Because I feel like it should belong to me…

It sure looks a lot like the mirrored credenza in one of my favorite rooms of all time, designed by Laura Day. I also feel like I have seen this beaut in another prominently featured interior, but I can’t remember where… if you know what I’m prattling on about, send me a link and I’ll post the pic. You will also receive my eternal gratitude for rescuing me from an Alzheimersish haze.

Ok, back to the matter at hand.

So I am having issues focusing on Rosie’s request for help because I can’t see through my angry tears of envy, but I’m going to try my best. First of all, do not scrape! The surface is fragile and can be scratched. Rosie says that the goo is mostly on the chrome parts, so she might have luck buffing it out with a balled up piece of foil, but I’m not an expert.

I know several of you out there have knowledge in this area, so if you know how to return this gorgeous hunk of bling to its pristine glory, let us know.

Meanwhile, I am going to try to figure out how to steal something for which there is no known location…

Rosie, maybe you better not move to Austin, after all.

A couple of weeks ago I was doing the thrift circuit and in some cosmic event, each store had the same vintage wicker trunk with brass hardware. In another cosmic event, I restrained myself from buying each and every one. One was too dirty, one was too expensive, and by the time I came across the last one, I had convinced myself wicker trunks grow on trees. Later that day I happened upon this photo and finally all the planets aligned just to blow my mind…

Lazaro Rosa Violan

Eclipse! Solar flares! Other stuff I should remember because I took astronomy in college! Whatever. I had a plan, and it involved copious amounts of spray paint and those damn trunks.

Those damn trunks were gone. Turns out they don’t really grow on trees.

Because I always want what I can’t have, I have now developed a mild obsession with trunks. Ok, let me level with you: I MUST HAVE ONE.

Katarina Malmstrom Brown via Desire to Inspire

Suzy Hoodless

Misplaced the source… bad blogger.

Nuevo Estilo

Guess what? None of these are as good as the pair of shiny BRASS trunks Karly is currently using for her nightstands.

I am hoping she’ll be so knackered from baby tending that she won’t notice me tip toeing around in the dark with a black ski mask on…

I was also watching a brass Sarreid chest on ebay, but homeboy went for $635!!! Do people think I am made of money?

And don’t even get me started about the Restoration Hardware trunks… when I looked at the prices (even on sale), I nearly spit out my precious coffee.

So, long story short: I really should have bought those stupid wicker trunks at the thrift store. Now I am going to have to wait for the next planetary event, which will probably occur approximately 5,692 years from now, and by that time the trunks will be used to hold my ashes.

Dumb dumb dumb.

If you’ve been reading this blog for more than five minutes, then it’s no secret that I have a special place in my heart for animals. And brass. And especially for brass animals. I do own a sparkly little guy named Brian who brings me joy whenever I spy his upturned hooves from across the room, where he patiently defends his territory from the sometimes loving, occasionally psychotic embraces of a toddler who shares mama’s love for four legged creatures.

That’s why when I saw this, I almost lost my marbles.

The home of Lauren Santo Domingo, via A Dreamer’s Den.

Holy Claude and Francois-Xavier Lalanne! You know how you can just muddle through life — just get by somehow — and on the surface things are good, but there’s always this little piece of you deep down inside that senses something is missing? This is what’s missing from my life. I need a hippo bar.

While I’m self diagnosing my internal weaknesses, I think this is missing, too.

Via Little Augury.

Do you see that magnificent creature, with its furtive bestial head that says, Push me! Pull me! Also, its splendiferous practicality is not to be ignored. It’s a desk. The Lalannes were nothing if not captains of industry.

Via If the Lampshade Fits

Practical, yes — but you have to admire their sense of humor. If dear old Francois were alive today, I’m sure he would have enjoyed Portlandia’s cheeky advice to just put a bird on it. Birds make everything better.

Pamplemousse Design

I firmly believe the Lalannes were also responsible for the mouton movement, and here les moutons are lovingly ensconced next to a watering hole. So thoughtful of the designers. Stuffed animals have needs, too.

Peter Marino

But in all fairness, my heart belongs to the bronze pieces, because I never met a bit of bling I didn’t want to take home to meet daddy. Put a Lalanne alligator chair beneath a Francis Bacon painting and you have one of my favorite pairings of all time. This picture is so good that it just blew my mind up, and if I have one axon and dendrite left to fire up the old synapses and finish this round up, then I’ll be amazed…

Architectural Digest

Thank you, Claude and Francois Xavier Lalanne — you are entirely responsible for blowing almost all of my neural circuitry, but it was worth it.

Good luck working after all that mind blowing awesomeness.

Contrary to popular belief, not all hipsters are dirty. It’s true that many are mullety and mustached, but lately I have sensed an upwardly mobile air about the bright young things. Maybe it’s because they aren’t quite so young anymore and were forced to clean up for their day jobs at Apple, or maybe it’s just because style in general is trending away from whimsy. In an economy with an uncertain future, it’s expensive to be a slave to flash-in-the-pan trends, and on the streets I’m seeing a lot of timeless classics with funky layered twists. Aspirational? Perhaps. But the true hipster will still thrift it whenever possible. Fake it til you make it, bitches.

And in that spirit, let the world know who’s best in show with this vintage trophy inspired cream and sugar set. $18 from Etsy.

I’ve been snatching up vintage wool deck blankets by the dozens. I think I’m going to try to thrift some old belts or suspenders and rig up a carrying strap like so. If you’re a holiday procrastinator like me, then you can just buy this one as a gift. Tick tock, says the Christmas clock… $78 at Urban Outfitters.

You need an Antoni Tapies poster of his Ultramarine Composition. It’s like Yves Klein noir. $35 from All Posters.

Anything by Pierre Cardin is an acceptable gift (except for the perfume… you know what I’m talking about). These 70s French Opera style glasses are the bizness. $15 from Etsy. Pssst, if the glasses are not not right for your giftees, check out his vintage jewelry.

Neither inexpensive nor thrifted, this leopard pillow still hits all the right notes. Animal prints look cheap in the wrong fabrics, but this needlepoint cotton and wool number is klassy yet sassy so you can (safely) take a walk on the wild side. $215 from Ethan Allen.

Adjust your frame of reference to a geologic time scale with gorgeous agate bookends by Roost. Suddenly it seems the holiday madness will be over in the blink of an eye. $71 from Velocity.

I just don’t feel like I can wrap up a Design Crisis gift guide without something gold and wildly expensive… Let’s just say that this diamond studded, gold plated swiss army knife costs thousands of dollars, but I’m definitely feeling that a sweet vintage pocket knife is a good gift. Check your local pawn shop — seriously. I mean, have you seen Pawn Stars? Madness. And because I know some of you want an online hookup, there’s also a somewhat lesser version of this knife (but still gold!) available through Victorinox’s online store for $145.

Don’t you feel richer and more expensive, yet still edgy and cool just from reading this post? If not, go back and reread… you must have missed something. It can’t be my fault. (Can it?) At any rate, I hope you got some good gift ideas. Now go buy something.

Are you still putting off your holiday shopping like I am? If so then I am here to help… you. I’m pretty sure there’s no help for me. I have a disease and the only cure is spiked eggnog and some sort of roasted meat, unless there is a 12 step program for serial procrastinators. But, back to you. Let’s do this, shall we?

I have a specific kind of person in mind for these gifts — me. But since I have more personalities than Sybil, let’s just say that this selection of goodies appeals to my more youthful and carefree side, the side that would like to go out and get crunked until 2 am. But this side would still pull herself together the next morning to make coffee and straighten the pillows. And this side is not so youthful that she might resort to utter insanity, like wearing neon spandex leggings. Let’s call her homey with a dash of derring do.

What better to document the adventures of your inner wild child than a mini digital Rolleiflex camera? Thread a waxed leather string through the side holes and wear that sexy beast as a purse. Dance floor problems solved. Booya! $280 from Amazon.

Gotta have a hot necklace if you’re going to party. This handmade specimen by Nomoi Koru is flashy not trashy. $34 from Etsy.

But life is not all about bad 80s coverbands and overpriced drinks. Your house needs love and attention, too. 144 Empty Parking Lots by Jenny Odell (thanks to the gods of 20×200 for listening to my prayers!) will give your home that requisite touch of existentialism. I say spring for the 11×14 size if you can afford it — size matters for this piece. $50 from 20×200.

These are just damn cute, but still suggestive enough to have some edge. Kissing creamer and sugar set by Reshape Studio (ps: they have some very cute vases, too). $64 from Etsy.

You like glamor, I like glamor, and I love Art Deco. This gold beaded pillow has the holiday X factor in spades. $42 from Urban Outfitters.

And now a couple of cheap thrills before I hit you over the head and steal your wallet: this Christmas ornament with a living airplant by Tortoise Loves Donkey is sleek enough to live beyond its holiday expiration date. Mount a hook on your window and tie one on. $9.50 from Etsy.

A fainting spell comes upon me every time I look at this picture… Muhammad Ali training underwater, photographed by Flip Schulke. 24×36 poster for $2.25 from Amazon. No, that is not a typo.

Got money? Then by all means Tord Boontje for Artecnica’s completely useless (as far as I can tell) Witches Kitchen Utensil Set is the gift you must purchase… for me. Does that joke ever get old? Not really. The gargantuan price of this set is in direct proportion to my oversized obsession. $770 from Unica Home.

That’s it for today, little buddies. I hope you got some great ideas to wow your friends and loved ones. Tune in later this week for more gifts n things, and perhaps a surprise guest to school you on all the best last minute prezzies you can nab right here in Austin.

Every year Karly and I do an exhaustive, week long guide full of fantastic gift ideas for family and friends. Well, this year instead of exhaustive, I’m just exhausted. Plus I’m all by my lonesome until next year. Nevertheless, I’m still going to post a few goodies when I find them (check out my latest posts on Books I Want, which would make perfect gifts for the visually oriented).

Today’s gift comes courtesy of Locher’s Paris Atelier, home of Nicole Locher, who transforms found objects into unique apparel, jewelry, and bags. This one is perfect for a special someone who needs a jolt of self confidence, or maybe someone who just needs to know that you think they are the shit.

For anyone who may complain that this item lacks, ah, refinement, simply say to them: it’s handmade in Paris, bitch.

I Am the Shit necklace, $69, available here.

I feel pretty confident in declaring that I own a vastly awesome shoe collection. It’s not a status oriented kind of collection that screams, Look at me! I wear the latest Tory Burch by day and the newest Louboutins by night. Which is not to say that I don’t appreciate fine, expensive shoes. I do have the odd pair of Marc Jacobs heels bought on deep (VERY deep) discount. It’s just that mostly I’m far too poor (and cheap) to buy them.

What I do own is a little piece of the 20th (working my way up to the 21st) century: black satin dancing shoes from the 30s, alligator pumps from the 40s, Delman spike heels and malachite green French Room snake skin platform pumps and some lucite heeled rhinestone studded beauties from the 50s, a swinging pair of Walter Steiger silver snakeskin t-straps and crazy spectator oxfords from the 60s, loads of wooden platforms from the 70s (both wedged and spiked), a killer pair of Charles Jourdan stilettos from the 80s, and I haven’t even mentioned the boots — 70s western, 80s Frye and Hanna Makler (the boot lady), 90s Italian, and a whole host of other players.

Despite the fact that my closet, Ben’s closet, and even the office closet runneth over, I love each and every pair. My shoe loving grandmother would be proud, and naturally I own several pairs of her shoes, too.

The good thing about vintage shoes is that they’re unique, and if you’re crafty with the Ebay, they’re often cheap. The bad thing about vintage shoes is the comfort — or the lack thereof. You can get lucky and snag an uber plush pair, but more likely you just tough it out. And look hot.

Unless you have a toddler. And then you buy new shoes. Brand new, never worn shoes.

Enter my new Lucky Brand Lexi clog boots, bought with an internet coupon (duh) at Endless. Less expensive than those damn Swedish Hasbeens, and less orthopedic looking than those Jeffrey Campbell boots, they are comfortable, they fit well, and they go with everything. I plan to go dark and boho chic with them, all neutralish textures and patterns and crazy shiny shit galore. Like so:

Graham Atkins Hughes

Commune Design

Elle Decor

Not sure of the source, but I’m pretty sure that’s a Vistosi chandelier. Mmmmm…

Francois Halard

Andrea Ferrari

Yeah, I like black. But I also like brown. Tune in for later episodes in my shoe shopping diaries, wherein I confess to both major and minor boot purchases…

I really hope Ben isn’t reading this.

Last week after I posted the magical Diane Von Furstenberg leopard rug kt left a comment with a link to her dreamy tiger rug:

When she said it was in her nursery, I was pretty jealz, but when she said it was only $200 I went into full-blown freak out mode.  I couldn’t believe that I had just finished my own tiger-friendly nursery and never knew that ebay held such cheap tigerly riches.  Of course, I raced right over.

What I found was nothing short of magical:

Ok, so I know many of you don’t share my affinity for tacky animal decor but just amuse me for a day.  I mean, really, you may not want this in your house but you can not deny the awesome power of this white tiger astral area rug.  Holy fuck, it rulz.

Are you feelin it?  Well then go on with your bad self and spend the $63.20 to make this 5′ x 8′ rug yours.  YES, SIXTY THREE DOLLARS FOR AN 8 FOOT RUG.  I’m sure it’s 100% flammable, but it’s also 1,000% awesome.   Original link here, but if it’s expired, just search “black midnight tiger rug.”  You’re welcome.

Here’s more:

Jungle African Queen Area Rug

4′ x 6′ = $24.99

If you dudes aren’t peeing yourselves yet, well then I just don’t know what’s wrong with you.

Tiger Family Border Rug

4 x 6 = $24.99

Personally, I think the border cheapens it.

Double Tiger African Area Rug

5 x 8 = $63.20

You can’t make this shit up

Lion and Male Tiger African Animal Rug

5 x 7 = $7.51

SEVEN DOLLARS AND FIFTY ONE CENTS

Oh, did you want something with “class” ok, well, I also found some rugs similar to the ones in kt’s nursery:

Tibetan Tiger Rug

58″ x 32″ = $295

Tibetan Skin Tiger Rug

2 x 3 = $169

Surprisingly, the tiger rug options are endless, I strongly suggest some downtime with a nice “tiger rug” ebay search.  Until tomorrow: Rawr!!!

Quick!  Let’s list off some of the things I love:  animal furniture, groovy sculptures, anything gold, pretty pieces of furniture, well organized spaces, animals, animals, animals.  I think that’s all.

So, what happens when you take all of those things (minus the gold) and roll them into one?  Karly is in heaven

Choose Your Own Adventure cabinet by Misha Kahn

Designed to hold all the goodies strewn about his floor, the CYOA cabinet is what dreams are made of, people.

See how messy life is without it

and now everything is so neatly put away.  Tada.