Now that I have implanted a devious musical seed in your collective head that will surely germinate and take over the rest of your day, let me just say that it’s good to be back. New Orleans was fantastic! Amazing! Splendiferous! But we’re still in the process of home renovations, last minute repairs, and the inevitable move which is scheduled for next week. That’s right — D Day is one week from today and I’m shaking in my boots (because it’s 56 windy degrees this morning and I can wear them — who dat?!). We have NOTHING ready. Nothing. So, while I would love to regale you with tales of my trip, with pictures of my new floors, and with a big reveal of Sander’s handipaintwork, I just can’t this morning. Because I have to pack up my entire life into tiny boxes, taking care to leave toothbrushes and undergarments accessible at all times. Excuse my tres gauche patois here, but it’s going to be a clusterfuck, y’all.

Nevermind all that. Let’s look at this beautiful house designed by Tyler Dawson, shall we?

I don’t get House Beautiful but I should, because the November issue was pretty swell. Thanks to my decor obsessed hairdresser Lisa for letting me slobber all over her copy.

I’m really trying to work up some nervy color palettes for New House. I think the paint color was a huge step in the right direction, but now what???

A colorful rug would be a chic, family friendly choice since pattern hides dirt (and strawberry jello) so well. I am obsessed with this Chinese deco rug. There are a few on craigslist I’ve been stalking for a while, but I have yet to find one under a grand. I’m also considering a non neutral couch…

I may even get some patterned curtains for the kid and guest rooms. I know? Who the bleep am I???

Perhaps I am experiencing some residual delirium from all the absinthe and jambalaya, but I don’t think so.

What do you think about non neutral large pieces like couches and rugs? Crazy or crazy good?

We’re still (eternally) shopping for houses, and I need your savvy input. What do you think of Tudor home design?

Sure this sucker is wearing way too much eyeliner, but is there anything that could be done to save it — to modern it up while retaining its vintage English charm?

I mean, I really always imagined myself in something more like so, but Daddy Warbucks hasn’t adopted me yet. What if I did up that Tudor more like this?

And less like this?

Could it work?

[Elle Decor, AD, Living Etc]

I had ambitious plans to write an epic post regaling you with tales of golden glory longer than Rapunzel’s hair. But since I was up late helping the in laws move into their fancy new pad and didn’t even get to scarf down my pizza dinner until after 10 pm, I think I’m just going to keep it summer short (with some awesome good pictures at the end). Ok and maybe I was too busy swimming in their fancy new pool to put anything major major together…

Julie has already christened this “margaritaville” and I am quite sure she is right. Guess I’ll break that to the inlaws, uh… now. They read this little old blog sometimes.

Anyway, expect A LOT of paint, furniture and kitchen posts to come in the next weeks as the inlaws have a ton of decorating to do. Woo hoo! We already kicked things off with an inaugural trip to Ikea, where I spied the most amazing mirrored oven:

Sorry — pictures of this stupid oven are rarer than a one legged unicorn, but I think you get the idea. It’s insane. And I think it belongs in one of these kitchens:

I haven’t the faintest idea what this gorgeous kitchen bar is made of… Karly would say angel tears.

Jesus, this kitchen even has a gold dishwasher, wtf do they need with a mirrored oven?

Uh…. yeah. Those cabinets + that oven = fingerprint hell. But also one heavenly kitchen.

Later, taters. I have important proxy shopping to do.

[Dimore Studio, Philippe Stuebi, Pia Ulin via Head Over Heels]

Salvador Dali would like to wish you happy weekend.

I’m planning to do something zany and totally out of character — like laundry.

Or maybe like adopting a baby anteater.

They are about the same level of likelihood.

Have a good one!

[Swedish Home, Laughing Squid]

If you missed Part 1 of this giant juggernaut of a post, feel free to check it out here. But like any good soap opera, this post works just fine if you haven’t seen the previous episodes. New York, I miss you so much. Let’s talk about all the silly little idiosyncrasies that make me want to start spreading the news.

1) Babe vs dude, and a little shop called Meg.

I’m not exactly sure what all this gender business amounts to (or if it matters at all), but Austin is apparently a “dude” town and New York is a “babe” town. I felt instantly transported away from dudedom when we stepped into Meg, a little boutique on the lower east side. Maria (only the cutest shop girl ever) treated us like her besties — mainly by referring to us as “babe” about 150 times within the span of 20 minutes. I wanted to pack her up in my suitcase and take her home with me so we could play dress up forever and ever.

2) I love Central Park.

Is it cheesy for me to say that? Frankly, I don’t give a damn. I think the existence of Central Park — an entire mini forest preserved amongst the most expensive real estate in the world — speaks to the goodness of humankind. The end.

3) New York, your food confuses me.

So we went to The Hurricane Club for drinks and dinner, and despite the lovely ambiance (which was much swankier at night) the food was very underwhelming. And I think something must be wrong with me, because I felt that way about much of the food in NY.

Sorry about the ugly camera phone picture, but this is my breakfast at Friend of a Farmer. I was super excited about being served in a mini cast iron skillet (although it does remind one a bit of Denny’s, no?), and the restaurant itself was charming and homey beyond words. But the food? It lacked the flava. Maybe my taste buds have been burned out by BBQ.

4) The road to heaven is paved with rugs.

New York is filled with the most incredible textiles. I snapped this pic at a boutique in the West Village (can’t remember the name — was obviously too dazzled by beauty) right before I tried to lay down on the floor and roll around like a dog.

5) The Met is ENORMOUS.

Trying to navigate the labyrinth that is the Met is sort of like trying to navigate the labyrinth in Labyrinth. In other words, not so easy and occasionally annoying. And filled with lines. We missed several key exhibits (Alexander McQueen) because there were just too damn many people, but I did manage to take in a few things.

I always forget what a revelation great paintings are when seen in person.

6) Anthony Caro on the roof of The Met was amazing x infinity.

I was feeling pretty pissy about The Freaking Met (mainly because they closed down all the contemporary galleries early) but then we stepped out onto the roof and oh my gawd…

I’ve always liked Anthony Caro’s sculptures, which employ various methods to control the viewer’s perspective of the work. But watching them interact with the New York skyline took it to the magic level bonus round.

Did I mention that they also had a super fancy bar up there? So you could catch a buzz, look at great work, watch falcons glide over Central Park, and ogle cute outfits. Heaven.

7) Ground Zero is still sad.

Frankly we just ran into Ground Zero after doing our part as good little capitalist consumers to stimulate the economy at Century 21. I wasn’t expecting to see it, and I certainly didn’t expect for it to make me feel that way. But it did.

That’s it for my big fancy trip, dudes babes. Back to our regular schedule tomorrow.

Have a good one!

I could probably fill 8000 posts with all the things I learned on my very first trip to New York, but I’m going to attempt restraint and instead keep it to two whopping action packed posts filled with sucky pictures of ABC Home taken by my camera phone. What? You didn’t think I was going to walk around New Freaking York with a giant camera penis hung around my neck did you? I knew you would understand that vanity trumps veracity every time. Let’s do this.

1) New Yorkers get a bad rap, and may actually be the nicest people on earth.

I had kind of braced myself to land in Grand Asshole Station, but New Yorkers proved themselves to be unfailingly friendly, helpful and generous (if a little strangely accented, y’all). Never once did they call me out for being from Texas — in fact I met many folks who had just moved up there from Austin. And you can bet that when I win the lottery, I’m moving there, too.

2) The W at Union Square rocks.

Part of the view from our window.

We got a screaming deal on a room, and they double upgraded us to a top floor. For nothing. Plus the location was awesome — subway to midtown, easy walk to the East Village. And sitting in Union Square at 3 am drinking a 6 pack of $14 beer (I didn’t say NY was cheap) reminded me a lot of hanging out in the town squares of Italy.

3) Oxfords. It’s a state of being. Feel it.

If you are short like me, you will get these in a fleshy color and wear them with summer dresses.

4) Speaking of shoes, Sleep No More = Heels No More

Sleep No More combines the plot of MacBeth with the style and voyeurism of Vertigo, Twin Peaks, and Eyes Wide Shut. I can’t even begin to tell you how utterly incredible this play/dance/hallucinatory experience was. If you will be anywhere near NY and can scrounge up $85 (even I could, and I am cheap), RUN to see this show. Just don’t wear heels or you will be very very sorry.

5) The Grammercy Hotel bar could have better service.

I blogged this hotel years ago, so I was pretty stoked to have a drink and ogle the art here (and the art was fantastic — current offerings include Marilyn Minter and Damien Hirst). I was not stoked to pay $50 for two drinks at a very crowded bar, but whatever. It’s New York. I was downright pissed to be told that we couldn’t sit at a table (that we were already sitting at) because we had bought our drinks at the bar two feet from the table. Don’t worry — I didn’t let it ruin my night, and that drink was totally worth $22. Wheeeeeeeee!

6) ABC Home and Carpet is where Jesus lives. And Yahweh, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, plus some other gods I am unfamiliar with.

Oh my god. ZOMG. This place is a wonderland for people like us. It’s in an amazing old building that has been in the family for over a century, and it houses 6 floors of the most incredible decor and furnishings in the universe. I went a little nutty with the pictures, so sorry in advance.

Woven nylon chairs fit for a king (or Karly).

Their displays are hard to photograph, but they make Anthropologie look like a bunch of no account suckers.

Wood wood wood. Say it with me!

Hard to see, but these rugs were textured — parts were burn out, part were unshaven wool. Amazing.

A bench made from recycled metallic plastic. Genius!

For all your mid mod lovers. The prices were ASTRONOMICAL.

Did I mention the displays? This was on the “Economical” floor. Hahahahaahha!

Ok, so this place was filled with the most amazing lighting — Ponti, Venini, Vistosi, Sciolari (lots of Italians up in here), but that Sarfatti chandelier was like the bitch that walks in and steals all the guys. All the other chandeliers hate her.

And here my camera phone failed miserably to record the spectacularless of this spectacle. Namely, a whole lot of bestiality is going down on the kid’s floor. Those animals were all up in each other’s business. I don’t know, people. Seeing this changed me. Maybe not for the better.

7) ABC Home and Carpet is also where Satan lives.

Owww, my eyes! It burns!

Ok, friends, that’s it for today’s tour of my tour of New York City. I think we can agree that this post will be long enough to tide you over until Monday, when I shall return with Part Deux of my trip. We will cover the Met, clubbin,’ NYisms, and some sad stuff.

Until then, I will be enjoying a little staycay with my Hunny and the kidlet. Have a great weekend!

My body is back from NY but my mind is still there. I had such an amazing time, but I slept very little and got in very late, and now I have scrambled egg brain. I’ll be back later to regale you with tales of my exploits, but for now I just want to make sure that you’ve seen this:

Reader Corinna emailed to inform me that I was vacationing scant miles away from greatness. I really thought about hopping on the subway, showing up at Jessica’s insane Brooklyn home, and demanding a tour, but sanity prevailed when I considered how I might feel if some random stalker freak popped up unannounced at my door… I’d pretty much just call the police.

Or stab the intruder with my amazing brutalist lamps.

Or perhaps I’d drown them in my incredible bathtub.

Or maybe just bludgeon them with my stunning onyx coffee table.

Perhaps my little trope is wearing thin, but I think you’ll agree that I should have risked death to tour this place.

Next time, Jessica. Next time. I suggest you lock down the lucite record player before I come, though.

[JP Warren Interiors, Desire to Inspire]

Here are a few things you should know about me: 1.  If I were to start a ’90s tribute band it would be called Color Me Rad 2.  I’m not ever going to do that and 3.  I am writing a post about color today so my witty wordplay won’t be lost on my own inner monologue.  You’re welcome.

In gearing up for today’s post I found myself drawn to photos filled edge to edge in big, bold color.  While I’m most definitely steering my home decor ship into the land of neutrals, I still can’t help but swoon when confronted with big bright pattern thrown right in my face.  Let’s look, shall we?

Honestly, I don’t even know what this is.  I’m sure one of you out there does.  Tell us, won’t you?  For now I’m just glad to know someone had this idea and made it happen.

via

I think what I love most about this barn (as with the image above it) is the bright color splashed against a dreary backdrop.  The interest lies in the contrast.

Via

Of course, color against color is pretty great too.  I especially love the little house on the prairie floral mixed in.  And apparently it’s audience participation day here as I’m about to ask you dudes what the hell is happening with that magic light over there?

My affinity for beaded African seating continues.

via

Colorful neon bars hung vertically say “hey, neon isn’t just for Miami and you’re going to like it.” Now, let’s get some Laura Ingalls Wilder Wallpaper up in this joint and we’ll be good to go.

These photos by photographer Alain Delorme pretty much rock my face off.  Why didn’t I just make this whole post about him?  Expect to see him again, be prepared to act surprised.

We will not be making any Rianna references here other than to say that there will be no Rianna references.  This photo is dope and it doesn’t sing through it’s nose so, win.

And there you go.  There was color, it was rad.  You know what it did.

First of all, we must come up with a new name for “moodboard,” because that word has jazz hands. Utterly unacceptable. And since I have now spent so much time making virtual dioramas on the cracky addictive program Olioboard that dust has settled on my shoulders and my hair has grown Rapunzel long, the matter has become pressing and urgent. Internet, please be my Prince Charming and rescue me from this tower of dorkiness.

So, let me just tell you that making moodboards IS ridiculous. It’s like playing with a dollhouse on your computer. Wait — that’s AWESOME. Want to play, too? I thought so. Let me introduce you to the cast of characters and their zany spaces, which combine blue blooded traditional elements with a dose of magic mushroom tea.

This room is for the Estelle barbie. Estelle enjoys playing with her King Charles Cavalier spaniels, long walks in Central park, and drinking her martinis sans underwear a la Julienne Moore (be very sure you want to click that link…). She doesn’t give a rat’s ass what you think about that, either. Room highlights include a vintage sofa upholstered in psychedelic Jack Lenor Larsen fabric, Anthropologie rug, Ikea curtains, Soane lighting and chairs, 1st Dibs table.

This room is for Bunny. She dropped out of Wesleyan to start her own “merchandising firm” — at least that’s what she told Daddy. At night she smokes pot and eats a box of pastel macarons while watching Craig and Smokey attempt to outwit Big Worm in Friday. Room highlights include art by Eileen Quinlan, Overstock Aubusson rug, Ikea curtains, Soane lighting and chairs, 1st Dibs coffee table.

This room is for Lila. She loves to host key parties for her neighbors in Aspen. It’s kind of an Eyes Wide Shut situation, so I probably shouldn’t say any more, except that the trunk provides excellent storage. Room highlights include a Marimekko tapestry, Anthropologie rug, Ikea curtains, wallpaper by Manuel Canovas, chairs and pillows by Layla Grace, lighting by Soane, and a leather 1st Dibs coffee table.

Ok playas, I’m really busy today with a laundry list of things to do (some of which may or may not include moodboardzing) so that’s it for today. Hope you enjoyed play time with me.

Check ya later.

Yesterday I regaled you with exasperating tales of bedding shopping and decor waffling. Let’s back track to the beginning of this convoluted plot arc, shall we? For over a month now a new bedroom plan has been percolating, largely inspired by Karly’s suggestion to use a wicker screen as a headboard for our hulking king size bed — our bed for which an inexpensive, conventional headboard cannot be found. I mean seriously, could Ikea not make this dumb bed in a king? Could West Elm not make prettier beds? Could craigslist not throw me a vintage bone instead of listing after listing of gross Haverty’s sleigh beds?

Apparently they cannot. And I can’t find a wicker screen large enough to stretch behind our ginormous, now white be-duveted king bed, heretofore known as Moby Dick. Pun intended.

Anyway, here’s what I’m thinking. Sort of.

I mean, how could I go wrong with a Miles Redd inspired room, featuring an awesome vintage screen as my bedding focal point?

Here’s how: I have two big windows behind my bed. They are ruining my life.

So, if I use a normal size screen, then I am effectively blocking our beautiful windows. And while the mole in me approves of this idea, the sunnier, sparklier me knows it’s dumb.

Even though that’s exactly what’s going on in this picture. Surprise! There’s a window behind the bed! Yeah, I’m not fooled, either. Plus our wall is much, much longer than this one.

What I really need is a low, long screen that won’t completely cover the window wall. And this entire bedroom. Hot diggity dog.

This screen would also do.

Because the necessary dimensions are so particular (at least 72″ wide, and rib cage height), I’m thinking about buying one of these blank canvas screens and recovering it:

This is exactly what I suggested Elissa do when she wrote in for decorating advice, so I’m not sure how it’s taken this long for me to apply the solution to my own conundrum… I’m really not too bright.

Anyway, I like the idea that this plan would allow me to pick a nutty fabric, and my white duvet and neutral wall paint will be totally understanding and supportive. Plus, it would be easy to change up the scheme when I tire of it, which will probably be about three seconds after I finish the project.

Now, I just need to commit, pick a fabric, and decide what to do about my window treatments… curtains? Roman shades? Scrap this whole idea and waffle some more?

The forum is open to suggestions.

[Miles Redd, Michael S. Smith, Trad Home, House Beautiful x 2]

I’m feeling the urge to paint again. I swear paint fumes give off some secret crack that compels me, knees and shoulders screaming in resistance, to repaint just one. more. time. I see no problem with the fact that I have repainted some rooms in this house three times in the three years we have lived here, because I blame blogging. Looking at a zillion gorgeous images a day fills my head full of dancing sugarplum dreams, and just when I think I’m a fully recovered paintaholic, something will come along and spark up the old addiction. Ah, I love the smell of fresh paint in the morning.

Well, let me tell you what color I am not going to paint my walls.

Ok, so actually this house is amazing… but that paint color! It looks like my mom’s lipstick from 1983.

It’s a color that loves naked lady butt cleave.

It’s a color that invites Demons to bed.

But then I look around and I think, Damn this house be fine.

I really like the colors that go with that other, weirder color. And what the hell color is it, anyway? Mauve?

I try to keep an open mind about decor. I consider myself to be an eternal student of everything, because people who think they know it all are doomed to turn into boring old fossils incapable of growth and change. Not that I feel strongly about that or anything. (And not that I actually think I know anything.)

Point is, sometimes that open mind can get me into trouble. Sure, I have things I know I always like. But sometimes things I think I hate surprise me into becoming things I love.

Can you tell that paint color is starting to confuse me? I plan to adjourn to my cracky ultra addictive but incredibly delicious (if only it were laced with paint fumes!) coffee to sort this issue out. Feel free to join me if you’d like.

[AD Russia]

If you ask a decorator where to hang your tv, they will probably say nowhere. A tv is like an indoor ceiling fan — an ugly necessity. Now I’m sure there are many among you who a) do not watch tv and can therefore ignore this problem and b) do not live in Texas and can therefore laugh at us poor suckers who would surely melt into flesh puddles without our fans. You guys pat yourselves on the collective back and go find something else to do. Maybe paint something?

I’m not even going to touch the fan problem, for which there is no elegant solution. But I am going to post a few ideas that may help you tackle the tv conundrum. Buckle up, friends — this may be the longest post you read all day. Perhaps even all year. But this is an important topic, right? Ok, maybe not peace on earth important.

Gilles Mendel

First of all, the old rules say, “No tv over the fireplace.” Speaking as someone who had a tv over the fireplace for a year or two, I think I can tell you why: it’s too high. Optimum viewing height is at seated eye level. However, these days you can buy a swivel mount to tilt that puppy down for easier viewing.

Vicente Wolf

And then there is the actual fire issue. We didn’t light up the fireplace the entire time the tv was mounted on it for fear of melting all that high dollar plastic into nickels and dimes. However — in the interest of full disclosure — we haven’t used our fireplace since we moved it, either. Have I mentioned it’s hot in Texas?

House Beautiful

See, this tv is way too high, but it does look nicely integrated into the design, what with the restrained palette and gallery wall. It is obviously the focal point of the room, but it shares and plays well with others.

How about that snakeskin surround? I have a feeling this fireplace is never used, so heat is a non issue. Also, every tv looks smarter when playing Fellini.

I think the bottom line regarding tvs over the fireplace is that it can be done, and well. But it’s not as easy as just plunking your tv onto the mantel. The fireplace is often the heart of the room, so room design has to accommodate the tv’s design, also. And most importantly, don’t arrange all of your furniture to face the tv unless you want your living space to look like a stadium.

House to Home

How about just next to the fireplace? I know a number of people have chosen this option and generally the lack of symmetry bugs me — but then I love symmetry.

Steven Volpe

But this is perfection. Boom. This room is so well balanced (asymmetrically). I appreciate that not every single piece of seating is turned to the tv, and the tension pole is such a simple, elegant solution that keeps the tv off the wall, thereby enhancing its 3D object quality. It’s so much better than this:

Ralph Lauren’s apartment

This looks like a high school AV cart. It’s so very wrong.

Lonny

Built in solutions can be very attractive, from traditional and sophisticated to ultra mod.

OWI

Instead of hiding the tv away in an armoire (which I say should be avoided, because you aren’t fooling anybody with that giant, hulking piece of furniture), a built in solution makes the tv an integral part of the room. The problem I see with this is that it’s an expensive custom solution. Also, what if you decide to get a bigger tv? At least the Lonny image above leaves space for that possibility.

Lonny

For us regular folk who can’t afford built ins and choose to flat mount our tvs to the wall, the gallery wall can be an interesting possibility. I like that the paint color blends in with the black border of the tv, diminishing its visual footprint.

Brick House Tumblr

White walls + white tv + white art = a barely visible tv.

Sidenote: most tvs are black because black borders enhance the perception of contrast. Obviously they can be purchased in other finishes to blend into surroundings as in the above image, but you can expect to pay a premium for a fancy finish.

I suppose the most popular choice for a tv is over a credenza, which hides the cables and cords of modernity. Alex approves.

Laura Day

And of course it helps if you can position your tv over the most glorious credenza known to humankind, and then pause the tv to a color which matches your art perfectly. Again, I think the fact that not every piece of seating is turned toward the tv helps it to recede immensely.

Magnus Marding

But you can take that last piece of advice to the extreme.

For pretty much ever tvs have been the scourge of decorating. They have a restricted shape and palette, and formally speaking they often clash with furnishings. While I agree that it’s best to avoid making tv the absolute focal point of a living space, that doesn’t mean we have to hide our loves away. Unless you are a Mennonite or like to watch stupid reality tv on your iphone, you probably have a tv and it’s got to go somewhere.

Marie Claire

Best learn to live with it gracefully.