While in Hawaii, my mom twisted my rubber arm into touring the furniture megacomplex that is Inspiration Interiors. I think she said something to the effect of, “There’s a giant life sized horse with a lamp on its head!” Oh, you mean this horse? The horse that Karly has been obsessed with for years?

Dudes, I kid you not: I walked around with my jaw dragging the ground like a neanderthal for entire time I cruised the showroom. And I felt like little more than an uncivilized cretin when I looked at the price tags, because every piece seemed more expensive, more rarefied than the next. Inspiration houses wares by Mooi, Front Design, B&B Italia, Fendi Casa,and de Sede, among other more mid range brands like Bo Concept and Natuzzi. It’s like a who’s who for the uber rich decor set.

Do you have any idea how much a new de Sede Endless sofa costs? Now, I have been in love with this sofa from way back — check my credentials here — but I’m just going to put it out of my mind because it costs FIFTY THOUSAND dollars. Yep. $50,0000. My youngest brother was totally nonplussed by this information, and already has plans to buy up the entire showroom once he makes his first billion.

Meanwhile, my other brother was utterly appalled by the prices. Coming at it from a woodworker/craftsman’s perspective, he just couldn’t reconcile $16,000 for a Fendi chandelier or $20,000 for a Fendi crocodile embossed dining table with the cost of the materials or the time and effort that went into producing the pieces.

He probably wouldn’t be into paying $1200 for a sparkly Fendi pillow, either, and I can’t say I disagree with him on that point.

And then there’s this $26,000 sofa that my mom is obsessed with. The back moves around the perimeter to form different seating configurations, which is cool, but the piece really isn’t that big. I can’t imagine paying $26,000 for such a wee little guy. Ok, if I had $26,000 to spend. Because I would probably buy a car instead. Scratch that — I wouldn’t even spend that much on a car.

Now I know I’m cheap and I get a thrill from scoring big off craigslist, and maybe it’s just impoverished sour grapes on my part, but does this B&B Italia chair really have to cost $8,000? Because I kind of like it. But I doubt I would pay even $800 for a chair that you can’t sit in on the showroom floor. I guess she’s a delicate flower.

There were some “bargains,” though. Maarten Baas‘ iconic, singed works were surprisingly affordable, as in the chandelier has less than four numbers in the price.

It was kind of an incredible experience to view all these ridiculously expensive pieces in the same location, because I don’t think you could see a single thing I’ve written about in person in Austin. It was also rather depressing to realize that these lust worthy things — things that Karly and I have written about and obsessed over for years — are utterly unattainable for us regular folk.

If not us, then who buys this stuff? Well, not this thing — I don’t want to know who has $5000 to blow on a boxing glove chaise. Whoever buys that deserves to be punched in the ass.

Nice though it may be, who can afford to buy this?

Or this?

You know, who besides the (admittedly scrumptious) restaurant housed in the same complex that is furnished entirely by Mooi? (Aside: Wow! Butts!)

In response to my brother’s perplexity, my sister in law remarked that what you’re paying for is not necessarily the materials, but the design. I couldn’t agree more, but I also have to wonder at the sanity of charging $50,000 for a couch in the midst of a huge recession. I mean, man I love that couch — I want to marry it and have endless de Sede babies. Or, at least I did until I saw the price, but I have to say the sheer nerve of it kind of killed my boner. Which is not to say that I wouldn’t snatch that puppy up if I found it on Craigslist.

Or, as Karly would say, if only it were a tenth of the price.

Like sands through the hourglass, bitches! It wasn’t easy, but I have finally finally finally taken some new pictures of my house so you can watch the drama unfold. Now, this is primarily a tale of conflicting couches, but stay tuned for side plots involving angled walls, terrible tv and stereo equipment, annoying door situations, and the obligatory regrets, excuses and fantasies.

Exposition:

Today’s episode is set in a quirky 60s ranch house with issues — like a crazy angled rock fireplace, a weird recess in the back wall, a wall-way, and a ridiculous door that opens into the room. Click le pic for a larger image.

The Players:

Hailing from Ethan Allen via craigslist, navy blue chesterfield sofa is petite yet all enveloping, soft yet remarkably supportive. Sexy as though she may be, the vagaries of time have not been kind to her (in other words, my cat scratched the crap out of her backside), and she’s feeling abused, neglected, beaten down. Let’s just say her name is Krystle.

Lean, powerful, and expensive, tan couch set hails from Elite Leather via ebay. 100% aniline, he don’t mess around with frou frou binders or chemicals, preferring instead to flash his scars and wrinkles like the badges of patinaed wisdom they are. He may be a tough, no nonsense kind of a guy, but he also knows how to make sweet sweet love to your body. We will call him Blake.

The Interloper:

Blake and Krystle have always had an uneasy relationship. Who ever thought that navy and tan could be happy in a black and gray world, anyway? But through years of proximity (and counseling with a similarly hued rug), they’ve learned to make it work. Until she came along.

Could this skinny slut be anyone other than Alexis, the cougar of couches? 70s rosewood casing with (not so) virgin wool upholstery, Alexis is compact and calculating. Even though I knew Blake and Krystle — while not an eternal match — were at least reasonably happy together, I let Alexis sing her sweet siren craigslist song to me. Basically, she said, “I’m cheap! I’m easy! And I’m sexy as hell!”

And she was. All of these things. But she scraps like a hyena with both Blake and Krystle, plus she’s a rock hard bitch. So to the office she went. Well, at least the office is looking better.

The story should probably end here, with a tenuous but palpable equilibrium. But there is always conflict brewing on the backburner…

Side Plots:

Technology, with its innumerable wires and hideous shiny blackness, is the bane of my existence. Also, my inability to replace those chairs with small cabinets housing the speakers is driving me to distraction. This is an endless source of real life conflict between me and The Hunny, who is seemingly bound by a testosterone oath not to crapoflage his ugly stereo equipment.

Then there is the door of hell that prevents sofa seating against this wall — the wall that faces the tv. Good planning!

This is the best furniture configuration yet. We have tried every possible permutation, and here it is. I should be happy. There are starving children in China. Not happy. Never happy. Want new couch. Want new house with no weird floorplan issues. Want to stop wanting things. So, SOOL lovers — tell me what’s next. What happens in the next episode of the drama? Do Blake and Krystle get broken up or do they kiss and make up? Does Alexis the sexy 70s set get sold to a dealer for a buttload of cash? Do I reconfigure the seating yet again??? Nevermind, I am way too damn tired for that.

Do I buy this sofa off craigslist for 50% of the retail price, thereby turning my living room into a satellite of Karly’s house, since she has the exact same couch? I am 99.9% sure this is a bad idea for many many many reasons, but I like to hold craigslist bargains in my mind like a pebble and rub them constantly.

As if you didn’t already know that the real drama was me.

For, I do believe it may be nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune than to buy mismatched couches off craigslist. Because jigsawing a large impulse purchase into a decor scheme already undone by many many many previous impulse bargain buys is definitely taking up arms against a sea of troubles. And don’t forget that I must also bear the whips and scorns of yon Hunny’s pissed off countenance.

It’s a calamity, I tell you.

After I finish craigslisting my lesser used possessions, I’m considering behaving like a grown up and buying a brand new couch — something I choose, and not something that is chosen for me by the whims of the craigslist marketplace. Honestly, the very thought is so foreign… I’m still trying to wrap my wee head around the idea. New? Who does that? Well, I guess I might.

The biggest biggest hugest problem is of course what to buy. You see, it seems that most perfectly normal living rooms have one lovely couch, flanked perhaps by a pair of chairs in a different shape or fabric to add visual interest, like so:

Such an easy formula: A+B=Awesome. Ok, the fancy art helps, too.

But the stupid formula won’t work for us since we are a two couch household. Does this mean I have to buy two new couches? Because one couch is fine — one couch is easy to decorate around. But when you buy another, unmatched couch, well then shit just breaks down. Add in a different couch, and I start gnashing my teeth and tearing out hair (not my own, of course) in big disgusting clumps. Trying to solve the 2 couch equation turns me into a deranged, indecisive idiot. Because unless you’re starting out with a hardcore plan, it is very hard to do the mismatched couch thing and do it well.

See, this is not working for me. I kind of see what they were going for, but nope.

And this room is very pretty, but I’m not sure I would like it in real life.

I guess keeping everything monochromatic would make it easier — but kind of boring. Although I am in sweet sweet love with the couch resting against the wall…

This is kind of what I had in mind, mostly because I already have a navy chesterfield. What do you think about pairing it with a fat white slipcovered sofa? I’m worried they will look unbalanced when placed next to each other.

On the other hand, I guess I could just save up to buy two matching couches…

But I really don’t want this to happen.

Enough with the typing. Look at these pictures of matching couches and try to guess what I’m thinking about them:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

UPDATE!

I can’t believe I left this one out… obviously the drama is making me dizzy.

Exhibit D

Why do couches have to be so bleeping expensive, y’all? And so big and hard to switch out? It makes deciding what to buy incredibly nerve wracking. I need a decider. Oh, but I’m happy to decide which couch to put in YOUR house… funny how that works.

Stay tuned for the next installment of my couch saga on Friday, where I hope to post personal pictures of my actual seating drama. It’s like freaking Sofas Of Our Lives around here.

In the meantime, I’d like to know what you think.

To match, or not to match? That is the question.

It’s official, la horse print is sold out forever until the end of time.  Thanks to everyone who bought one, I’m beyond flattered to have my work around the world and in your homes.  Seriously, you’re awesome.

For those of you who were on the horsey fence but were hoping for a bit more metallic gold, might I remind you that lasers in general is still available

The general is ready to give marching orders HERE.

In other news…

The Oasis has landed.  And yes, it is the beacon of comfort it represents itself to be.  Why, I accidentally fell asleep mere minutes after laying my head on one of it’s downy soft pillows last night.  I’m not even kidding.

Styling it is another issue.  I can’t seem to find the right combination of pillows and or blankets to casually toss about it’s feathery mass as evidenced by the pillow graveyard across the room:

In the photo it looks great without any pillows or blankets, but it person it’s a bit too barren.  I’m totally and completely open to suggestion.  In the meantime, it doesn’t have to have a single accent upon it to be the perfect spot to nap.

Ok dudes, no time for a biggo long post because K-Dawg and I are going to check out some chairs for her patio. Exhibit A:

These are advertised as “Hanry Bertoia” chairs and they’re priced at $140.

Say what?

For reals. And here’s the scoop: if these are actually Bertoia Diamond Lounge chairs, they be worth MAD skrilla. Like, almost a grand EACH. At least that’s what DWR is listing them at. But is the price $140 for each chair, or $140 for the set of four? Dunno. And I’m not calling ahead to sound the “oh shit, maybe I underpriced these” alarm. Also, are they just knockoffs? Because, according to the interwebs, knockoff chairs are priced at $140 each. Hmmmm, very suspicious. Also, I don’t know whether to expect the real deal from a seller who can’t spell Harry. Seriously, man… Hanry? Were you confused as to whether it might be Henry or Harry, and just decided to split the difference?

Cross your fingers and hope that Karly is about to score the deal of the century. And don’t forget to tune in next week to see what happens.

Oh, and while I’m nagging you guys, be sure to leave a comment here by next Monday for your chance to win a super rad recycled tote bag from Poketo. I already have my jealous stink eye ready for the winners.

Happy weekend!

Remember how last week I decided I wanted a new sofa? And remember how you all (especially one extra kind New Yorker) were nice enough to give me all sorts of feedback on the CB2 Bolla I was considering? Well, I decided that since I didn’t get 18 million comments screaming about the couch being the most comfortable thing known to mankind combined with the fact that I couldn’t test drive it in person, i just couldn’t bring myself to order a couch I haven’t sat on.

So, Erin and I went on a wee baby little trip to the haven otherwise known as furniture row in Austin. Ok, it’s 2 stores in a strip mall, but doesn’t it sound good when I call it furniture row?

First we fell in love with this $3,000 gem at Copenhagen Furniture (a decidedly 80s-esqu store specializing in leather sofas fit for Patrick Bateman’s condo). What can I say, sometimes white leather just works. Oh, and did I mention that it was like sitting on a cloud made from baby tears and angel kisses?

Apparently baby tears and angel kisses are expensive to manufacture, so I had to be responsible and just say no. Everyone, please give Erin a round of applause for her nearly successful attempts to convince me otherwise.

A couple stops later we found ourselves at crate and barrel. I originally stopped in for another look at the petrie but one glimpse of the Oasis washed the memories of the tufted trendsetter right outta my hair. Oh dear Oasis! J’adore!! You are the one for me. Please tell our dearest Design Crisis readers how you look so different in person than you do in this picture. Be sure to let them know that your narrow arms and your knife welts add just the right touch of bohemian mod to your most heavenly comfortable downy filled frame. Will you also tell them that your linen slip cover is machine washable and (le sigh!!) totally pet friendly? Oh will you?! Tell them of our love!

So, yeah, I’m totally buying it. Like any woman who wasn’t raised by wolves I knew it best to go home and sleep on a (ahem) $1999 purchase. But it’s been nearly a week and I’m still giving my old sofa the evil eye while visions of the Oasis dance in my mind.

I plan to make the final purchase next week, which should have it in my hot little hands by mid-May. I’ll send you pictures as soon as it arrives.

Oh, and one last final note: unless you have some god awful story about how this particular sofa literally ate your niece’s leg, I don’t want to hear any bad mouthing.

Also, a second last final note: AB Chao recommended this AMAZING LOOKING site for sofa purchasing. I highly recommend you look at every beautiful piece in detail. I almost went for it, but I just have to sit in it first.

I’ve decided to replace my sofa. The couch I have now is pretty cute but for every point it gets in style it looses 12 for comfort. I’m not in a huge rush (would love to have one sometime this summer) but don’t want to drag this out by looking at every couch on the planet.

I had originally thought I would get the Petrie from crate and barrel, but with a $1600 price tag I’m a bit gun shy. Erin and I went to Macy’s yesterday where we test drove the $699(!!!!) Corona sofa but I found it was only $699 worth of comfort and I left with my back cracking. Literally.

As soon as we got back to Erin’s she forced the laptop on me and pointed me directly to CB2 (You remember Erin’s documented shopping problem, yes?) It was then that I remembered this beauty:

At $999 the Bolla is $1 under my dream budget and thus, totally fair game. The only problem? The closest CB2 is eight million and sixty four miles away. This is where YOU come in.

Ok, who has seen this sofa in person? Or, dare I ask, sat on it? My husband and I are both tall. Like serious tall not like pretend tall (I’m 6′ he’s 6’4″). I get that we won’t be able to lay across it, that’s fine, I have this daybed in the same room for lounging. I want a nice, deep, comfy seat that’s not too hard and not too soft. TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.

Also, if you own this, how does it wear? I want to know all the practical details

Or, if you work for CB2, tell me about shipping returns if I get it and it makes me want to puke.

xoxo forever!
K

After months of resisting the urge to buy another single solitary stick of furniture for this overstuffed house, I finally gave in to temptation. Craigslist has been wining and dining me with brass this and lucite that, but I stayed strong. Until something suddenly came up.

And now I have a seven foot long black leather grub worm in my kitchen/dining area.

I hope you will forgive the janky photos as I didn’t have a lot of time to play Richard Avedon this morning, but I think you can still make out the fact that I have a GIANT BLACK LEATHER THING IN MY DINING ROOM.

Actually, this “thing” is a Tobia Scarpa for Cassina chaise and matching ottoman (with labels!) that I scored for $75 including delivery. BLAMMO! It’s a pretty sweet deal considering that it should go for a minimum of 10x that price. If you could find one.

It do be having some issues, though. Like a missing button, and some scuffs and a few deep gouges. I think I’m going to order some leather dye and polish this bad boy up, but I don’t know what to do about the button. I’m totally open to advice on leather care.

But some day I’d really like to reupholster this behemoth because black leather is not the bizness — sorry, black leather lovers. Karly says it will be a nightmare, but how awesome would this be in a super slubby oatmeal linen?

Oh, you know… kinda like the ones Kelly Wearstler has in her fancy beach mansion. The mansion that she’s selling for 21.9 MILLION. Maybe she wants to buy my chair, too?

But I digress. It can’t be that hard to drape some fabric over the frame, wave your hands over the surface, and hey presto! this baby into life, right? Can I get an Amen?

But my biggest problem is that I bought a giant thing and I AINT GOT NOWHERES TO PUT IT, which is why it’s occupying its own zip code in my dining area. Shhhhhh, do not tell the Hunny about this little epiphany I just had, since he was totally against this really stupid purchase in the first place, and I do not feel like putting up with his I told you so shenanigans. But in my defense, this picture was dancing like a sugarplum in my head when I decided I just had to had to had to have it:

Thank you, Karl Anderson, for taking such a gorgeous stunning beautiful picture and making me buy this dumb thing I don’t need. You bastard.

Ok, I bet you thought this post was going to end right here, but you were so very wrong. It gets worse.

You see, along with the chaise I also bought this Pace Collection coffee table for another whopping $75. BLAMMO! Score! Plus the dude delivered it to my house along with the chaise, which is a big fat freaking deal, since it weighs 200 lbs. At least. Seriously, I do not want this thing to live in my cramped, overstuffed office, but now that it’s in there, it’s going to take an act of congress to move it.

(Sidenote: check out the teak desk (which used to be our dining table) raised up on blocks in the reflection of the chrome. This was the Hunny’s brilliant solution to a too low table that would not allow him to roll his chair underneath it. We are keeping it klassy at our house.)

So now I have a giant black thing in a place where no seat should be, plus a coffee table that I can’t move because it weighs more than me, Ben and Ike, stacked up like a pyramid of clowns on a bicycle. I took a picture of my finger next to the glass and chrome so you can see how thick it is. It’s probably going to drop through our floor any second.

So I’m thinking I could put the Scarpa chaise and ottoman against the wall where that futon (covered with a tapestry) is right now, and the futon will go live with someone else — which is no great loss since futons are hideous, worthless pieces of furniture, anyway. But before I can put the chaise there, I have to move the coffee table. UGH. I suppose the table can live at the end of my giant bed, which I promise to photograph someday after I clean my room, but that probably won’t happen anytime soon, so don’t hold your collective breath. You can’t have everything, you know.

I personally am taking a very deep breath right now, and I’m going to put on my magic brain cap and figure out how to solve this dilemma. I’m afraid the solution involves buying a bigger house, and that makes me all anxious in my innards, and now I feel an overwhelming sense of analysis paralysis.

I think I might just take a quick look at Craigslist instead.

I’m gonna take my time
I’m not gonna rush to buy
I’m gonna take it slow
I can’t spend out of control

So we can get a sectional seduction
So I can get a sectional seduction
So we can get a sectional seduction
Sectional seduction

It might be high priced
But it’s all about me, me, me
Just can’t buy from the mall
I don’t want to get fleeced, fleeced, fleeced

And all that I’ll ever do
is lounge on her seat, seat, seat
And watch HDTV
And go back to sleep, sleep, sleep

Cause I done got a
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction

I’m gonna take my time
I’m not gonna rush to buy
I’m gonna take it slow
I can’t spend out of control

If you don’t know by now
Erin Dogg is a freak, freak, freak
I keep a hot couch with me
Seven days out of the week, week, week

And all that I’ll ever do
is lounge on her seat, seat, seat
And watch HDTV
And go back to sleep, sleep, sleep

Cause I done got a
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction

I was up in the store havin’ a look, loungin’ all sweet
When I peeped this little freak out
I was all on the sale when Togo corner couch came out
Then she hit the floor, now

With a low pitched seat, leather, bright white style
Lookin’ good enough to eat
And a playa know if I take her home
With that real soft squish, you so right I’m gon’ sleep

So I approached the sofa I liked the most
Nice curves on her with some hot lil pillows
I whispered in her ear, “Lil momma, what you cost?
I know that you’re not cheap
but for sure I ain’t gon’ say no”

My new couch is outrageous
We got into the crib and exchanged some love faces
And even though Hunny knows it cost a ton
Now he wants to buy me a matching one

Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction
Sectional seduction (all the time, any time)

Click to play the original song. I dare you not to think about couches.

(Sources: 1. Roche Bobois 2. Karl Anderson 3. Cappellini 4. Richard Powers 5. Living Etc 6. Shoot Factory 7. Ligne Roset 8. Elle Decor 9. Met Home 10. Ligne Roset 11. Light Locations 12. Met Home 13. De Sede)

G’day everyone!  How ’bout ya’ll raise your hands if you remember that monster Olympic-sized post I wrote on Tuesday?  Remember how it was the longest blog post ever in the history of mankind?  So, keeping that in mind, how do you feel about a slightly significantly shorter post today?  No go?  Hmmmm… what if I promise lots of pretty pictures?  Deal?  Deal.  Let’s go.

I have come to learn something recently which will undoubtedly shake you all to your core:  Ligne Roset carries several pieces of furniture.  True!  I know we all love to swoon over the Togo (I’m looking at you, Raina) but believe it or not, they actually have a very extensive line of lovely pieces.  And behind every line of great furniture stands a great designer.  Ok, they have several designers they work with but today we’re focusing on one: Inga Sempe.

Ligne Roset unveiled it’s newest piece, the Ruche, by designer Igna Sempe this week at the imm cologne

A simple, upholstered quilt is draped over a basic frame to create the newest piece.  And, since we’re channeling Raina today, I will ask your thoughts please.

The Ruche is not Sempe’s first piece for Ligne Roset, she has designed several including the Moel sofa and chair (shown above) as well as the Lampyre, the Long Pot, and Lunatique: a telescoping table.

Sempe’s portfolio also contains this gem, designed for quirky Italian furniture makers, Edra

Edra let Sempe get away with these shelves as well, which, btw, I find delightful.

One of my favorite pieces by Sempe is this pleated hanging lamp for Cappelinni.  Designed in 2003 and still stunning as can be 7 years later.

I’m also enchanted with her high pleated lamp, also for Cappellini

And you know what, dudes?  That’s all I’ve got for today.

Welcome to the flip side of our decadent, 10-day vacay.  I missed you all dearly, but I have to admit that I did quite enjoy an extra hour to sit on my ass every evening during my sabbatical.  In honor of my recent episode of R & R, I’m bringing you several chairs that I would have loved to park my fanny on over the last two weeks.

Artist Dejana Kabilo covers chairs in hair for her Pretty Pretty Heads series.

While this may not be most ideal for holidays by the fire, and there’s a reasonable chance that I would end up in the kitty emergency room after Laser decided to make these locks her Christmas Dinner, I still wouldn’t shy away from placing one of Dejana’s creepy seats in my home.  Here are a few more:

Only slightly more practical are these chairs from design powerhouse, Lucy and Bart:

Prey-tell, do you suppose that is foam insulation spray wrapped around the legs of that otherwise sad chair?  How do you suppose they create the wonderful shades of turquoise?  I’m guessing airbrush.  What do you think the probability is of me recreating this dapper look for my house?

And on the opposite end of the design spectrum from L & B’s voluptuous seats:

The slim and sexy seating of Vladimir Tselser.  I see these as the counter-part to the perspective chair by Pharrell Williams.

The Troll Chair by lop furniture is possibly the most holiday-fire-side-chat friendly of the bunch, and the exposed structure on the underbelly is lovely, but those legs seem like a cop-out.  Of course, the day this baby lands on Craigslist is the same day I get slapped with the world’s largest traffic fine for racing across town to grab it.  Afterall, legs are replacable.

So, there you have it, my first post of 2010.  I still have family in town so I’m still on a bit of a mental vaycay, but we here at DC headquarters have big plans for the year, so pick your poison from the above and scoot on up to the screen:  it’s going to be a life-changing year to remember.  Probably.

I’m a Gemini.  I’m not so sure I completely believe in all the astrological brew-ha-ha, but I do think there’s something to be said for a belief system that resides in the international social subconscious.  Be it the moon’s pull or a self-fulfilling prophecy, my Gemini-ness is most evident in my split personalities.  I’m not crazypants, but I do have two equal and opposite forces fighting tooth and nail with in me at all times:  I have expensive taste but I am cheap frugal.

Luckily, I have cultivated other characteristics to assist in marginalizing the internal struggle:  I’m a superstar at haggling and I’m not so bad at fixing things up.  Here are 3 projects I’ve worked on in the last couple of weeks that have satisfied each twin that lives inside this little gemini:

I found this lucite gem at the City Wide Garage Sale last weekend.  Normally I go when the best deals are to be had:  just before close on Sunday.  This time, I tried something different:  I went when the doors opened on Saturday and the, ahem, planets aligned and the gods presented me with this vintage lucite barrel chair.

The price was $130, which is approximately 13 times more than I like to spend on a chair, but my frugal side also knows a good deal when it sees one (similar chairs are going for $800 – $900 online).  I talked them down (of course) to $100 and hauled ass out of the convention center.

Now, don’t be fooled by the quasi-good lighting.  That fabric is one thousand percent polyester and had enough dirt to fill a shallow grave.   I ripped it off post-haste.

After taking off the offending upholstery, I realized why the seat was so uncomfortable:  most of the rubber supports were rotten and torn to shreds.  I cut new ones and Matt stapled them on for me.  Look, I’m crafty, I can make things, but few people on this earth are strong enough to work the devil’s hand-tool that is Matt’s staple gun.  One half-clutch of the handle is enough to give you a life-long battle with carpal tunnel syndrome

Once the internal repairs were complete it was time to spiff up the seat.  I chose to cover the seat with fabric cut from a vintage silk scarf that I had purchased at a City Wide Garage Sale several months ago for two whole dollars.

I then covered the scarf with clear vinyl.  I chose to use the vinyl for several reasons: 1.  Putting plastic on furniture is hilarious.  2.  I wanted to protect the scarf and 3.  I wanted to give the seat the same wow-pizzazz as it’s lucite shell.  In person, it looks lovely together.

Because I didn’t have enough fabric from scarf #1 to line the outer edge of the seat, I used fabric from a second scarf also purchased from the garage sale several months ago for $.99.  See, Erin, I do have a use for all the fabric I hoard.

Moving on to project #2

I bought this sad little excuse for a chair at a yard sale for $2 a year or so ago.  When I brought it home I could see Matt’s little mind adding up the plausibility of filing for divorce.  I promised him glory and grandeur then the chair sat for months.   Now that my office is almost done (pictures coming soon, promise) I finally had a need for it at my sewing station.

I painted it with high-gloss black spray paint, then recovered the seat with this awesome black and white Native American graphic print fabric I purchased when I lived in Albuquerque a gazillion years ago.  I’m almost positive that I got it off the $1/yard table.  I bought every last inch and have used it for several projects over the years, this is the first time it’s appeared on an item for my home, though.

And finally, project #3

I bought this lame lion head print from the thrift store for $7.99.  It felt a bit steep for all that mucky beige art, but I had a plan and figured that, even if I failed, at least the frame was worth 3 times the price.

I used a straightedge to draw laser-light-show lines across the background, then taped off each area separately and painted as needed.  It should be noted that I originally planned to cut out the lion head and put him on a new background, but the print is mounted on thick cardboard and I wasn’t sure I could cut it out cleanly.  The result?

This little lion was relocated from depressingville to crazytown.  I think he likes it better there.  Oh, I painted the frame black, too.

All of these projects are living in my office now.  Here are all the before and afters together.  Are you starting to get a sense of the color scheme?