Thanks for all the comments about my curtain conundrum — especially the ones that said nice things about our house. It’s not where I want it to be, but hopefully it’s better than where it started. I mean, how could it possibly be worse than green carpet, khaki paint, and overstuffed mushroom farts furniture? I really had nowhere to go but up.

Anyhow, I ordered some more curtains that are going to blow your minds… maybe in a bad way. Or maybe not. That’s the problem with choosing fabric — it’s crazy hard unless you have tons of experience. Personally I’m hoping the brute force of trial and error builds experience, because there’s really no other excuse for my OCD behavioral tics.

Speaking of fabric, have you seen this?

I’m pretty sure Jesus flew down on a chariot driven by angels just so he could deposit this on my doorstep.

I’m really important like that.

So this handy chart tells me lots of things, things like I can’t afford to swath this chair:

In any of Perennials’ gorgeously soft and luxurious OUTDOOR fabrics, like this blue velvet that would be perfect in the nursery:

Or this slubby chenille faux bois that I’m kind of in love with… it’s not nearly as busy in real life.

But $80/yd (to the trade price) x 5 yards (according to my new chart) = $400 just for fabric. Not including overage. Not including upholstery labor. Sooooooo, no.

However maybe I could afford to use fancy fabric on this chair:

Because it only requires 2.5 yards.

Small pattern if I keep the buttons.

Bigger pattern if I don’t.

See how handy the chart is?

I’m kind of obsessed with finding furniture in my house and calculating the yardage.

I feel so empowered, even though I don’t know anything about sewing and fabrics and upholstery.

But I’m learning.

Happy Friday, y’alluns.

Verily I say unto thee, go forth and reupholster the world!

[Perennials Fabrics]

In a nutshell, the trouble is photographs lie. You aren’t really that fat (promise), the perfect gray paint color that looked amazing in a magazine looks like shit on your walls, and those pink curtains I lusted after weren’t even pink.

Remember this room? I was all, Oooh ahh magic! over it and how such a sophisticated room could pull off those pink curtains. Well get a load of this:

Same room. Not exactly pink pink, more of a rose…

Huh. Well I might consider that to be more of a clay red — something with a fair amount of brown in it.

Not pink at all.

So, you see, I was doomed from the start.

Witness:

Oh me. Oh my.

The other trouble with photography is that it’s awfully labor intensive. I almost turned around to shoot the back of the room so you could see my secret piles of toys and laundry drifts, but I wanted propagate the myth that I keep a semi clean house. Still, why didn’t I move the speakers? Or restyle the fireplace? Or hang those curtains higher and replace my chesterfield and find a new place for the tv?

I have a lot of work to do. Focus.

Yet another problem with photography is that some of you are probably thinking, Those pink curtains are bananas, dawg!

Well, I hope your brain doesn’t think in those words, because that may be the trouble with you.

Anyway, those pink curtains were like eight year old sparkly bubblegum pink unicorns riding rainbows to My Little Pony land.

Hell. No.

It’s not like the flax curtains fared much better. Once again — they may look ok in the picture, but they were green in real life. Not pretty with my peachy pink walls.

So I took that crap back and now I have two totally different curtains up. Plus I just ordered two more.

And I’m trying to stop myself from ordering sandy beige… I think I’ll save super neutral for the double height curtains I might get around to someday.

The trouble with me is I am so used to taking photographs that I expect my house to look like one.

Also I am extremely overwhelmed and indecisive.

Will report later on the ever expanding curtain conundrum.

In the meantime, let me tell you why you aren’t as fat as you look in pictures. It’s because humans see with two eyes, and we can sort of see around objects to the background behind. Cameras only see with one eye and they flatten everything onto one big fat plane.

So there you go. You are 10 pounds thinner.

That’s something, right?

Ben is pretty tolerant of my decorating whimsies. He let me choose the wood flooring in our house. He let me paint the dinette peachy pink. He begrudgingly allowed me to paint his office… twice. Basically I get to control all aesthetic decisions in our house.

Except for the pink curtains.

If you will recall, I planned to do double height curtains in our great room. Well I’m too tired to tackle that expensive problem right now, so I decided to just throw a pair of cheap (but good) Ikea linen curtains on the lower windows to allay my neurotic empty window fixations. I chose some pretty basic flax linen curtains and figured everything would look kinda like this:

Ok, and I may have taken the liberty of switching out the navy chesterfield for a pair of those Ikea Mellby chairs, because in my heart of hearts I know a pair of chairs (or maybe a chaise) would be best for my house… also, for anyone doubting the quality of Ikea’s new leather wares: go sit on them. They’re really nice soft pebbled leather. Totally worth the price.

Anyway, the mockup isn’t perfect but I think it proves a priori that the flax curtains would be just fine and we should hang them and move on.

But…

And:

Plus:

Maybe a little too girly, but still:

Finally:

Yeah. Pink curtains keep whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

And of course Ikea sells pink linen curtains, so I mocked that beeswax up.

I switched the art because I think pink works best when mixed with dirty colors… otherwise it comes off as juvenile and/or cloying.

So now it is super girlytown up in there. Ben also hates the lady painting, but that is just wrong.

What do you think? I would say the board does not accurately reflect colors, that the curtains are warmer and and that there is definitely baby pink in the rug even though you can’t see it in the board. Overall the rug is more raspberry than red.

Or perhaps I should just go halfway to girlytown with the lady painting and flax curtains? I could probably ask my sweet MIL to sew coral pink velvet piping on the curtains to up the oooo ahhhh factor.

So, for $100 which curtains should I choose? Flax? Or risk the wrath of my normally mild mannered husband and demand pink? I am, after all, about to be vastly outnumbered by penises and I don’t really think he has a leg to stand on.

Ahem. Insert joke here.

And another joke.

Ignore my morning prurience. Instead tell me which art and curtain combo you like.

Thanks.

[Head Over Heels, Ruthie Sommers, Pinterest]

Ok guys and gals, I have two major decisions to make today. This would be doable, except that I am a used up, burned, crispy charred piece of toast. This weekend we cleaned, hauled trash, painted, and moved Ike into his big boy room. I woke up at 2am feeling like I had done a speedball — all hot and anxious and confused about where I was. This morning is not faring much better, and that is why I desperately need your help. Let’s get to it.

Decision #1: Buy a Damn Table Already

I am driving the poor sales rep at the furniture store crazy with my waffling, so I’m determined to order something today. Ok, but do I get a marble tulip table, a white painted tulip table, or a walnut tulip table?

Marble tulip cons:

Most expensive. Unknown quality — the table I’m getting will not be carrara, but some other unknown white marble with less veining (no pictures are available because the marble varies so much). Fragility — how does a giant elliptical piece of marble stay balanced on a small pedestal without breaking???! Staining — am I going to wish I had chosen something easier to maintain? Redundancy — I hope to get marble counters someday and I’m concerned about marble overload.

Pros:

IT’S MARBLE. Is marble overload even possible? I seriously lust after this table.

White painted table cons:

Diminished sex appeal — it’s basically white painted veneer. Unknown quality — no pictures of finished product available. Durability — will it chip and gouge out to reveal veneer underneath? Cleanability — can I scrub the crap out of this without abusing the finish? Length of ship time — it’ll probably take three months to get this table into my hot little hands… gross.

Pros:

Inexpensive (relatively). It’s plain white, so it’ll go with anything. Easier to move. Not concerned about breaking it.

Wood veneer cons:

Wood is bossy — rosewood or walnut will limit my chair options in a major way. Durability — this is veneer so will it gouge out? Not refinishable (veneer). It may clash with my (to be installed in the future) white oak floors.

Pros:

Relatively inexpensive. Available soon. Lighter than marble. Will not limit my counter choices.

Ok, which table should I buy?

Decision #2: Maybe Buy a Cheap Rug While They’re On Sale Today

West Elm has 15% off rugs today. I have sample for this denim and jute rug, and it’s cute but maybe a little juvenile with my coral/pink walls?

Look at me, I made a mockup. Shocking.

They also have plain jute flatwoven rugs. I’m looking at the fourth one down — the flax color. This is kind of boring, but it would allow me to do some fun seating upholstery. No mockup. Sorry, I got tired.

Meanwhile, Overstock is also having a sale. I like this two tone herringbone jute rug, but I’m concerned about staining. Is jute easy care, or is that only seagrass? I know sisal is the worst.

Finally, I could just not buy a rug. I would be missing out a bit on the sales, but perhaps I’m trying to make too many decisions at once…

Who, me?

Opinions? Concerns for my mental health?

I have to go to the doc in a few to do my third trimester blood sugar test… even though I haven’t gained much weight so far, I’m worried that my steady diet of donuts is about to backfire. Anyway, I may not be able to respond to your comments but I will be reading them while people stick needles in me and examine my hoohah.

It’s a good day all around.

Did you know there was a clearance rack at the West Elm Outlet? Did you even know there was a West Elm outlet? Well for those of you fortunate enough to live in the suburbs (guffaw), an outlet mall may be lurking in an unpopulated wasteland near you. Lucky for us Austinites, we have only to drive down to San Marcos, which is actually really lovely and features rivers flowing with beer (byob). Winning.

So yesterday MIL, Ike, and I trekked down to the outlets in search of this rug for the dinette and these curtains for Ike’s room, but I found none of the above. Still, I managed to score some goodies on the cheap. Check it out.

This giant papier mache impala head is usually $169, but I found it for $9.97 and could not resist. I was thinking about putting it in the baby nursery, but I don’t know… maybe it’s kind of demonic?

Does it look like I sacrifice goats and draw penatagrams in their blood on my pregnant belly?

Does this remind you of Damien the Omen or is it just me?

I also got a white mongolian lamb pillow for $9.97. I should probably use it to continue the dead animal trend in the baby room, right? Oh, and wouldn’t it be funny to put glasses on top so that my infant son is convinced a muppet monster will attack him whilst sleeping?

Maybe not.

I did get a diaper bag for half price. That makes me a good mommy. The gold zippers make me AWESOME.

Perhaps even more important than prepararing for the impending birth of my child is that I found this $400 Moroccan wedding blanket for $19.97.

Yeah, buds. Now my bedroom is going to look just like this:

Or maybe this:

Or definitely like this:

Or perhaps I will hang it on the wall behind my tv.

Wall hanging or blanket???

Either way: winning.

Let me tell you what is not winning.

I have been obsessing about this gorgeous indigo/violet kilim rug forlikeever and they had it at the outlets.

Yay! There were even two of them

But both of them were covered in lint. COVERED. I’ve never seen something attract so much lint in my life. A lint brush doesn’t even do that good a job of defurring your pets.

Do not buy this rug.

Sorry, West Elm.

I still love you.

And I really love your outlet store.

[Moroccan blankets here and here]

After today’s post you may doubt yesterday’s words and fear that I am headed squarely into geriatric territory… hopefully not, but this morning I couldn’t remember where the coffee cups were, so you never know. Anyhow, let’s talk fringe — you know, those strings that hang off stuff. We could also call it bullion if you want to get fancy. Whatever it is, I like it (as evidenced by a previous post I penned on the topic). Is fringe antithetical to all things clean and minimal? Uh, maybe. Will it confuse my Roomba as it attempts to vacuum under the couch? Probably. Let’s see if obscuring form and laughing in the face of function is worth it, shall we?

Jeffrey Bilhuber pairs jewel tones with a fringed, skirted foyer table. I’m starting you fringe neophytes off easy.

ps: curtains!

Celerie Kemble loves hairy fringe, but you must check out the whole picture:

That amazing chandellier by Guglielmo Ulrich blows me away, but I like the fringe, too. The pink Dr. Doolittle settee scares me a little.

Richard Shapiro does (back to back) brown linen sofas with matching bullion for House of Veranda — crisp and tailored. Again love the jewel tones. Someday when I buy a big girl couch I’m considering this color. It’s warm but plays well with brights and neutrals.

Miles Redd goes grandma chic, but I would snatch that sofa out of this room and dress it down in a heartbeat.

And still my favorite, so I’m shamelessly reposting it: Pamplemousse does arty fringe. I want to have sex with that sofa. Or on it. Who cares? Sex… sofa.

Now I know my pal Christian is probably about to ban me from his contacts, because he hates the fringe so much. But I want to know what you think… are you crossing me off the awesome list, too?

I was already on it, right?

Just remember the immortal words of the great poet and sage Kenny Loggins (or whoever actually wrote the song):

Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity

Highway to the danger zone
Gonna take you
Right into the danger zone

Go there.

Thanks ever so much for your feedback on the fireplace dilemma — I now have a lot of things to think about. Most pressing it seems I must do something about the windows, and the new question du jour is: what, praytell? Should I do shades or curtains? Do I address all four windows or just the lower levels? And then there’s the adjacent (non tv wall) — it has glass patio doors. So whatever happens on the fireplace wall must carry over onto that wall, as well. (You can see a rough old floorplan here).

Shades would be the easiest and most cost effective, or perhaps it would be even cheaper to only hang curtains over the bottom windows and treat the top ones as transoms, as per Nelya‘s suggestion. But I have to say the double height curtain plan has got some traction… inside my brain at least. Turns out the height to the top of the window is 148,” which is too tall to use the longest premade curtains I can find — by a matter of inches. UGH. Who built this house?! So now if I go that route we’re talking custom curtains and that means berserker cash. Let’s look at some pictures and see if such a thing might even be worth cleaning out my piggy bank.

Leggy. Like Angelina Jolie.

What I do know is I don’t want this to happen. I mean, that is my house.

Gone horribly wrong.

So there’s a lot of drama inherent in the giant curtain idea. I like drama, but will they be too overwhelming?

What do we think about double height curtains?

And is there anywhere I can find them premade in lengths longer than 144″?

Once again I’m depending on you to save the world.

[Fawn Galli, House Beautiful, Tom Scheerer, Happy Home Workshop, Harpers Bazaar, AD -- thanks Pieter!]

Thank you, Rebecca, for making my day with that comment. I started to google TMO just to see what popped up, but decided I’d like for my eyes to live to fight another day. Anyway I am moving forward with TMO, mostly because I can’t think of what other type of rug might come in such an odd size as 5×11 or so — except for a custom job, of course. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. In the meantime, I’m wide open to alternate suggestions if you happen across anything amazing! and spectacular! that simply must be shared.

Let’s all take a moment to assess the potential for TMO success.

Some of these images came from The World of Interiors, and some came from this silly post I wrote a while back. Read it. I used to have a sense of humor.

And now friends, I have to scoot. Must see doctor about increasingly scary pregnant stuff. Please cross your fingers and toes and eyes and boobies and man parts for me.

Thanks.

For President’s Day my leopard rug arrived. Thank you, Obama (and Overstock). So the rug is pretty — it’s by Safavieh and looks to be of decent quality. Better Half Ben rolled it out for me and three seconds later Ike and the cat were clawing and break dancing all over it (cat = clawing and Ike = break dancing, although I would prefer for the opposite to have occurred), so I guess it’s plush enough.

What it’s not is the right size.

I took this picture at night so the colors are all wonktacular, but maybe you can see the problem with this space. It’s really long and narrow, and the 6×9 rug isn’t working… I think. I could shove it up under the credenza, but then it would leave this awkward open space on either side where I had planned to plunk down a pair of matching chairs.

For everyone interested in buying the same rug, here’s a daytime shot that better shows the caramel/tan colors:

I should really straighten up my furniture before I take pictures, right? Oh well.

So, what do you think? Can it work here, or should I move it to the front room and keep shopping? I’d like to maintain an open space in front of the console table so that I can roll out the benches beneath it for seating.

As a reminder, here’s some newborn baby pictures of how the room is laid out:

First of all: don’t panic! The fireplace has been painted and the tv is better situated (I plan to reveal it this week). The brown dining table is now in the dinette area (it looks terrible — new dining table is on the list), and the black credenza is against the back wall. The open area between the credenza and console is where I plan to hold play convention 2012-2040 (holy shit I am going to be old when these kids are grown). I just need a rug to mark out the space.

It would be so easy to buy a crazy 4×10 or 5×11 Persian rug off Ebay, except I already have a red Persian rug (which I like) in the room, and I can’t have two, right?

I was thinking I might could get away with a Nain rug (they tend to be blue), because it would be different yet similar to the one I already have… I don’t know anymore. Rug overload.

What do you think? Leopard where I have it or leopard in the front room?

What kind of rug should I get if I move the leopard?

Or should I totally reorganize the entire living area?

Fireplace pictures to follow.

Wallpaper sample pictures to follow.

Damn I have a lot of things to do.

Remember when zebra rugs made everyone go all swoon! and lurve! and heart it so much! Ah, the 80s. Kidding — that was just a few days ago. The internet in all its infernal efficiency has shortened the trend cycle almost to death, as in it’s busted before it even begins. Case in point: I find myself yearning to jump on the leopard band wagon because it’s trendy and I have been inundated with eight trillion hot ass pictures of fancy leopard sundries that make me want to run out and tattoo leopard spots all over my face. But if I invest in reupholstering a pair of wingback chairs in leopard velvet (something scalamandreish that magically costs about $40/yd hahaha), or — even more attainable – a leopard rug, will I regret hitting a wave that’s already crested?

But I’m also lusting for leopard because it’s dirt colored. Thank you, evolution, for considering the unavailability of showers in the wild for our feline friends. I, for one, support all things invented by necessity. And if you have a toddler you know patterns and dark colored fabrics are a necessity. Toddlers are a lot like wild animals.

Also leopard is just really pretty.

So what do you think? Is leopard a classic — worthy of an investment piece? Or is it better used in small, easy to swap doses — like pillows and throws?

Due to a major case of analysis paralysis (and a very tight budget), the fate of my living room decor depends on your opinion.

[via This is Glamorous, Barclay Fryery, via My Interior Life, Aerin Lauder's couch two ways, Miles Redd]

I have been on such a rabid hunt for finishes and furnishings that last night I dreamed about picking tile for an imaginary restaurant… which would be hilarious if I weren’t so very concerned that the checkerboard should be nixed in favor of a penny tile. Like, cold sweat concerned. About a restaurant. That doesn’t even exist. [Cue psychoanalysis.] Anyway, the inlaws are in the process of buying a brazillion new pieces for their rad pad, including a rug to go with the MOST AMAZING Pace dining room table they snagged yesterday.

This table:

Plus this room:

Is going to kill your face off.

Hard to tell from the photo (ps, that’s not their furniture), but the room looks out onto the fancy pool and atrium with koi pond. It’s totally delicious. Yeah, I just typed that.

Of course they need a rug to go with their badass table. I am trying to help because I can shop even in my sleep.

Now, between shopping for myself and clients, I have bought approximately 864587 rugs off the internets. (I am the queen of hyperbole, but I’m pretty sure that’s an accurate number.) Some of these purchases were terrible mistakes, but many were not. So let’s talk about what you need to know when shopping for a dining room rug.

#1. Size Matters.

See that rug in the picture up there? It’s way too small. For a standard rectangular table, you probably need an 8×10 so you have space to pull out the chairs over the rug. Like so:

Sorry the picture is a total zzzzzzzzz, but you get the idea.

#2. Color and pattern are important, duh.

If you already have strong color on the walls, or lots of pattern in the textiles, then a neutral rug will be your bud for life. But in a blank slate room like the inlaws have (light floors and walls), I favor a crazy dining room rug with bold pattern. For one thing, I think it’s stimulating — as a dining room should be. For another, that rug above will hide a multitude of sins… like maybe spilled wine and smeared jelly and cat vomit. Not that these things have ever happened in my house.

#3. Speaking of color, some should be avoided (I’m talking to you, black and white).

Oh I know someone is going to reach up and slap me in the face over this one, but I’ve already been down the black and white road so take that.

Yep, that’s our old house with the OG dining room setup. Let me tell you people what: the black parts of that rug showed every single piece of lint and the white parts showed… everything else. We might or might not be messy eaters. Still, I say eating over a white rug is asking for trouble.

Somebody either has a maid and a nanny, or really enjoys cleaning.

#4. Speaking of pattern, some are easier to live with than others.

A small, low contrast pattern that extends edge to edge is the easiest to work with.

Easy. Furniture can sit anywhere on this rug. Kind of snoozy, though.

Not easy. The scale will compete with furniture. Plus it makes me want to stab myself.

It’s also worth considering where the pattern falls on the rug, and which parts will be covered by furniture. (A border also complicates the situation, but it’s not such a big deal in a dining room where the table is generally centered over the rug.)

#5. Rugs I like(ish).

The inlaws have a glass table so most of the pattern will show, save where the chairs sit. They are also looking for something colorful with blue in it to coordinate with the front door.

Yum.

Very serene and easy to coordinate with other patterns.

Completely ridiculous and probably too pink for their overall color palette, but I am developing a mini love affair with this rug.

I’m still searching for The One, so feel free to kick me some links.

Just make sure it’s not a black and white 6×9 rug with a giant off-centered pattern.

Off to shop!

I’m not gonna lie — I pretty much just googled “antelope rug” for today’s post. In defense of my laziness I would like you to know that our old house is now under contract although we still have 856 people walking through at all hours, home inspectors are crawling up my ass like fire ants, I co hosted a bachelorette party with Karly on Saturday and I am still hung over, and Better Half Ben is home sick with the pukey vomits — betcha I’m next.

Deep breath. Now look at these damn rugs.

I should probably be embarrassed to bust out this roundup, as a zillion bloggers have already beaten me to it. But since I came across a ton of images featuring creepy camouflaged men cradling dead antelopes during my search for big beautiful pictures, I feel like I have suffered sufficiently for this post.

Oh, and did I mention that the living room is being painted today? Cross your fingers and toes and eyes and pray that no one finds me hanging from the rafters when it’s done.

Going to curl up in bed and hide for a few. Toodles.

[Amanda Nisbet, Cote de Texas, Ms. Blandings, Elle Decor, Perch]