So, remember the crazy rug I bought in a parking lot? The one from the sale that showered dirt all over my babe and surely gave me a bacterial infection of some sort? This rug?

I couldn’t decide whether to keep or sell. You guys were not impressed by its Versacesque glamours, but I saw something in there… My spidey senses were a’ tingling. Lucky for me I have awesomely smart blog buddies. Cassie sent me a link to Lisa the Rug Chick, a textile expert who knows EVERYTHING about rugs. Read her blog… it’s amazing. Anyway, Lisa was kind enough to email me with her take on Mystery Rug.

Drumroll, please…

1940s Spanish Savonnerie.

Exciting! I mean, it wasn’t a $4 million 18th century French Savonnerie rug:

But it was something.

In the meantime, I had grown very attached to Mystery Rug. I had plans.

Master bedroom Versacefication plans.

However, Lisa the Rug Chick had some not so glamorous news: Mystery Rug was very dirty, and because it was woven on a jute foundation it would need to be painstakingly hand cleaned by a professional. No hosing this 100 pound beast down in a driveway unless I wanted it to disintegrate. Plus the jute edges had some unraveling and repair issues… plus Ben hated it.

I called Deep Eddy rug cleaners and they quoted me $425 to start — which is not insane to clean a giant dirty antique rug — but I didn’t want to put more money into that particular rug.

Sadness.

I decided to try to sell it, so on a whim I emailed Nazmiyal Rugs in New York. They deal in all sorts of amazing antique rugs, rugs that cost more than my car.

Aaannnnd, I got an immediate call back. They wanted to buy it at the price I had set… If you watch Pawn Stars you know that dealers make you set the price because dummies like me have no idea what their stuff is worth. Therefore I had probably underpriced the rug.

I emailed another dealer, who told me the rug was possibly Austrian. Then I looked up Austrian savonnerie rugs and found this one on Ebay. Looks similar, right?

It’s $12,000. Kinda more than I asked for. Ooops.

By this point I had already entered into an email contract with Nazmiyal. Hey kids, a written email agreement between a seller and buyer is legally binding.

Good to know, right?

And then I had to ship my rug off to NY on approval, which was nerve wracking. What if they stole my rug AND I was out shipping???

They didn’t. They are professional dealers with a fancy brick and mortar location in New York. My little ole rug was chump change to them. Also they were very nice and reassuring.

Cherry popped. Check cashed. Tidy profit made.

Nazmiyal will make a tidier profit, but unlike many people I have no issues with selling to dealers. Yes, they will sell your item for more (a lot more) than you sold it to them, but they have massive overhead to finance PLUS they have invested time and money into building a clientele.

I mean, I could have put my rug on Ebay and asked $10,000, but who would buy it?

Probably nobody.

I hope.

So now I am a tiny bit richer and minus one rug…. guess what that means?

Rug shopping!!!

Probably for the living room (AGAIN), because I think this is going to happen:

I feel pretty good about this plan. I mean, I LOVE my blue rug, but I don’t love it with the red persian rug in the living room.

Two rugs in the same room is just tricky town.

We will discuss this ad nauseum later… I have 700 pictures and opinions ready to share regarding this subject.

And someday I will finish my next how to post on buying rugs. Sorry I am so slow.

In the meantime, don’t forget to enter the mega Graham and Brown wallpaper giveaway!

It ends Thursday night.

Do it.

I cannot even begin to tell you how glorious the weather in Austin has been… high 70s, crisp breezes, the scent of roses and freshly mowed lawns wafting about. The weather here is usually so HELLFIRE HOT by now that this spring seems extra special and it’s really hard to do anything other than lie on the ground and stare up at this:

I love it so much that I just want everything to be green right now…

Green kitchens.

Green paint.

Green wallpaper.

The perfect green accent.

In fact I’m considering a little living room switcharoo to bring in more green, inspired by this:

Hot. Sex.

Should I maybe put my new blue/navy rug:

In the front of the living room:

And put the red rug in the back of the living room?

Please pardon the bad styling and photography. I did move about 500 toys out of the picture, so I kind of rule.

I’m not convinced red rug will be ok next to those green chairs (it’s definitely not as vibrant as my picture shows, but it’s still dark raspberry red), however blue rug could be looking mighty fab with my giant fancy new Jenny painting:

And some new pillows made from this Robert Allen fabric:

I don’t know… it’s tough to say how this will look in real life. Could be good crazy. Could be bad crazy. That’s a lot of squiggly lines and a lot of black and blue together.

When I can pull myself away from tree gazing I hope to move some things around. This is just the first configuration I’ll try… I have a lot of big rugs now.

Of course, I also want more big rugs.

Of course, I also also want to stay married.

What do you think the chances of success for this new look are?

More than 50/50 = furniture moving time.

[images via pinterest and my house]

First of all, THANK YOU for commenting on Luke’s room tour! Sorry I rewarded you by taking the next week off for spring break. I’m a jerkface.

So, I have a grand history of choosing, unchoosing, pondering, debating, analyzing, and general indecisiveness when it comes to rugs. Either the size isn’t right, or the color is unknown, the pattern scale is off, or woolen tumbleweeds threaten to eat my home. No matter which way you slice it, unless you plan to just jute it up all over the place, rugs are hard. And if you’re like me, you have champagne taste on a beer budget, which SRSLY compounds the problem. It’s not like I can walk into abc carpet or the rug company and throw $10,000 at the problem. What’s left is the west elm outlet — which I have found to work well for scatter rugs — or the internets.

Thank the bargain gods for ebay and overstock. I love them long time. But buying a rug you’ve never seen and will be difficult at best to return is a major pain in the warp and weft.

Buckle up and let’s discuss the latest debacle, shall we? Some back story, first:

This? Oh, this isn’t the problem. Sort of. See I bought this vintage Malayer rug off ebay a few years ago and I love it and its jewel toned, crumb hiding, hand made awesomeness. The problem, as we have discussed previously, is that it’s too small for this loooooooong room:

I know. I can’t believe our house looked like this right after we moved in, either.

To recap, the table is gonezo and now this lives back there:

Except of course I have compulsively rearranged stuff n things since then. Der. The credenza and the white console swapped places, and now I have a terrible desk but a better looking back wall.

I am all about practicality, aka I need a real (super awesome) desk.

Anyhow, the runner was a little overpowering and a lot slippery, I really really really need a rug back here to protect our floors from little boys and their floor gougery. Plus something soft and plush would be nice to sit on and play legos and other annoyingly small and many pieced games little boys like to play.

I previously tried a 6×9 rug, thinking it might fill the space.

I was wrong, and we all know where that rug ended up.

Here’s the thing: what I really want is a 13×18 persian rug to fill the whole room, but even on ebay cool ones price out in the 2k range. Since the kitchen has me on mega budget 2013 with my belt strapped on so tight I fretted over a $7 Ross dress, 2k is just not going to happen. So I went off and spent $300 on another ebay rug that is too small.

Hey Erin, aren’t you a professional photographer? Why, yes I am. But I snapped these iphone pics to show Karly right after I rolled out the rug, and then I promptly rolled it up. And threw out my back. So enjoy these gorgeous works of art. And enjoy the baby bouncer, most of all.

Also, please do not assume the console styling is for realz. And Gilbert, the leopard pillows are just for you.

6×10 hand knotted deliciousness… too small, right?

I should return this, right?

I need a 9×12 that fits almost end to end with the front room rug I already have, right?

Now I just have to find one that I like under $500. Also it has to flow with the other rug. Also also it has to look good with the back room stuff.

This?

This?

This?

This?

This?

Sike! None of these are going to be under $500.

Rugs are dumb.

Please help me by either finding a cheap wool 9×12 that I like (I am tres picky), or by hiring me to take pictures and/or spend your money on decorating projects…

Assuming you have more money than me, that is.

Thanks for reading today’s novel. I will be laying down and icing my back now. Me and my phone await your solutions to all of my problems.

What what? It’s tour time!

I’m sure you had nothing better to do than refresh your browser 800 times a day until I posted the latest tour, right? Or, if you’re like me, you barely have time to eat and sitting down at the computer for three minutes is a major luxury.

Thanks for spending that three minutes on me. Let me try to make it worth your while.

Much like the rest of our house, this room was a hot mess when we moved in. Tobacco green carpet that reeked of tobacco, hideous paint, a weird booby light fixture that hung long and low from the faux wood fan… it pretty much had it all.

For a while it was Ben’s office, but then I got knocked up and the baby had to sleep somewhere besides our bedroom, duh.

Except, guess who’s never ever ever in his entire seven months of life slept here?

Thanks a bundle, pyloric stenosis and insane food allergies. I hated sleeping, anyway.

But it’s kind of ok because that means I can keep my sock monkey shrine unbesmirched by snot, and also the hot air balloon sheets that I am unnaturally fond of are still clean months after their debut.

Plus I doubt very much that Luke will appreciate the brass overload that’s going on in here as much as I do.

Brassssssssss.

But I’m betting he will totally love the vintage Dufy screenprint I snagged for him at a thrift shop.

He’s probably not my kid if he doesn’t.

That was a joke since I vividly recall squeezing him out of my lady center.

Some things stick with you.

Things like this guy.

Speaking of sticky important things, do you remember The Great Rug Debate of 2012?

Solved.

I hemmed and hawed over a handful of 8×10 rugs until I stumbled upon the West Elm Souk at the outlets for $70.

Score one for poverty.

It’s cute, but it’s also a mess. I do not recommend it for high traffic areas unless you like to hoard leaves.

Detailz.

I have to say, I love designing kid rooms. There are so many fun details, like this totally crazy chair I had sitting around forever. New upholstery made him a mega comfy scene stealer.

Almost as cute as the dude who lives here. Or sort of lives here. Or will live here someday.

I hope.

Thanks for hanging out for Luke’s grand tour! Sorry the writing is so sleepy, but I am whipped. I’m so tired I’m going to lazily paste the source list from a previous sneak peek I posted.

Paint color is Benjamin Moore Frappe, courtesy of the amazing Sanders.

Chair is vintage Milo Baughman that I had recovered in Togo fabric. This was the big splurge for this room — about $450 total.

Curtains are super cheap Ikea Ritva onto which my sweet MIL spent two nights sewing ribbon trim… LOVE THEM! Four panels cost $65 plus time. Can’t beat that.

Mongolian fur pillow came from the West Elm outlet for $5.

Light fixture came from Ebay.

Vintage Raoul Dufy screenprint came from Room Service for $28. I cut a new mat for it.

Bookshelf is Ikea Expedit.

Sheepskin rug is old news.

Everything else is thrifted. I really tried to reuse as much stuff as possible to keep the cost down.

And that’s it!

I hate to be a ho, but if you want to see another tour please please please let me know. Because in my house, the menu of options goes something like dinner OR shower.  So I’m hungry and dirty. But I wrote a post.

Yay, me!

Until next week.

[all images copyright ERIN WILLIAMSON]

I’m frantically editing pictures for tomorrow’s nursery tour, but this guy just wanted to stop by and say hello:

See you dudes tomorrow!

I know it sounds like I think I’m a rock star or something, but I am pretty excited about this tour. I mean, I only finished this room seven months ago, but back then I was carrying a 700 lb baby in my belly and couldn’t muster the strength to really show you around the place. I also couldn’t tie my own shoes, however that’s another story.

Fast forward half a year and I’m down to my pre pregnancy weight, we just did sleep training and the dude is not keeping me up all night (don’t judge — he’s still keeping me up most of the night), and occasionally I even leave the house to do photoshoots and decorating consults. Like a regular person. By myself. I’d say I pretty much own the world. Let’s celebrate in living color.

This teeny tiny room was used as the formal dining room by the previous owners. Behold:

Yes, it is the same room. Scary indeed. As you can see a full size oval dining table doesn’t even fit lengthwise, so we decided to repurpose this room and use the dinette as our primary dining space. That space is fraught with its own issues, but we’ll deal with them another time since I promised no kitchen talk today… (but look, you can see the kitchen from here).

Ultimately we would like this room to function as an office, but for now it’s actually a playroom. I moved the big wheels out of the picture just for you.

I was kind of going for an old school library look, so Sanders helped me choose some mega dark paint (Benjamin Moore Dark Harbor). Then I added flanking shelves in matching glossy paint, swing arm sconces, and of course my crazy lady painting.

I love her.

Somehow this room has become the repository for all the weird antique things I own. Grab a drink and get cozy, because for some reason I thought you might want to see every single item on my shelves.

On the other side of the room you can maybe kinda almost see my new hall wallpaper…

The styling looks like a dirt sandwich because I’m too afraid to hang anything on the paper. Maybe my new print?

My cat is obsessed with that chair, therefore it is always littered with leaves. I would love to reupholster our vintage rosewood couch and chair someday, but I will probably let the kids and pets totally destroy it first.

This room is great grandmother approved. I hope you enjoyed it, too.

What do you say: should I post more tours?

They take a long time to work up so pretty please leave a comment if you want to see more of this kind of stuff.

Or maybe you just want to talk kitchens?

I just want you to love me. Let me make you happy.

[all images copyright ERIN WILLIAMSON]

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, the most stupidly expensive overhyped day of the year. Well just between you and me, I don’t need roses or fancy chocolates or build-a-bears in pink tutus to get me all hot and bothered. I need wood. Big strong wood. And I’m not talking cherry cabinets and glossy glazed finishes, here. I’m talking ’bout this:

Shut your mouth!

Or actually, please don’t. Because we need to discuss the viagrability of kitchen wood.

Everything about this kitchen says elegant, thoughtful, and practical. Probably those aren’t the precise words that come to mind when you want to get the sex on, but maybe “tactile” moves us closer to that end. These kitchens just seem like they would feel good.

To cook in.

I’m kind of obsessed. I like wood with white counters, I like wood with black counters. I even like wood with wood counters. I would like wood in my kitchen.

But I’m more than a little afraid it cannot be. I investigated the gel stain some of you suggested and it appears to kind of sit on the surface of wood, sort of like transparent paint. I don’t know how I feel about that. Maybe I’m totally delusional about the quality/style of my cabinets, but what I reallllly want is a bare, matte finish — something that looks more like old wood and less like plastic impregnated woodishness.

This is super gorge. Someday our floors might even look like this. Of course those cabinets are repurposed from an Edwardian era storefront so it’s not like this can ever happen in our kitchen. Except maybe the hardware.

Sorry about the dumb picture, but I think this cabinet situation is about the best we could hope for.

What I need to know is, should I even go down this road? Is it worth it? Is gel stain the only viable option or should I actually take on the possibly sissyphean strip/stain/wax triumvirate?

I love the idea of durable, touchable, delicious wood, but am I headed for heartbreak? Is this going to triple our work load only to look crappy with our dumb cabinets?

Ermahgerd.

No cheesy iphone filter can disguise that horror, so I didn’t even bother. They really are that orange.

Would I just be better off stealing Bailey McCarthy‘s kitchen?

And the rest of her house while I’m at it?

Help me out, people. Lower cabinet finish/color is the last decision to make before we tear this mother down.

I promise no more kitchen posts until we actually do stuff.

Also I am hoping to put up some house tour action next week.

Please don’t leave me in my time of need.

[pinterest kitchens]

Hi friends, thanks for all the fab tv suggestions to get me through the plague that has decimated our house… Luther? Yes. Sherlock? Up next. Also, have you watched the first episode of The Americans yet? It’s all perestroika and high waist jeans with an awesome 80s soundtrack. Can’t miss.

So notice my title suggests that the kitchen PLANS have progressed… alas, the actual kitchen is as barfy as ever. We’ve yet to take a sledgehammer to anything, but we’re getting closer. I’ve all but convinced Ben to knock the soffit completely out and see what happens, largely thanks to your comments. It helps to show that I’m not completely nuts when I embark on these grand projects. Also, I have started speaking about the soffit demo as if it were fait accompli, e.g., “after we knock the soffit out…” I think the power of suggestion is working.

So the next step is to figure out what to do with the cabinets once the ceiling is (hopefully) raised. The lovely Naomi at Design Manifest sent over this picture a few weeks ago:

Raise existing cabinets and add shelf below to fill in the space. Brazilliant. But then, Miss Naomi is a professional kitchen designer so she is smart like that.

You know who else is smart like that? Lisa, who commented on my white kitchen post. Behold her horrifying before picture:

And her glorious after:

Let’s discuss how much shuffling those uppers around opened up this kitchen. A whole big lot, that’s how much.

Here’s another reader redo from Justine, who transformed the most hideous ranch oak cabinets into this oasis of soffitless delight, replete with new Ikea cabinet fronts. Oh how I wish! One thing I’m eyeing is the space over the pantry where the soffit used to be. I had planned on building the cases up to the ceiling and ordering new doors, but maybe I don’t have to?

Let’s review the situation:

Oy. My eyes!

Ok, now for the plans:

1. Remove soffit and drywall in beam. Maybe add simple molding.

2. Raise upper cabinets and add shelves below. New glass doors for the uppers. Like this:

What the hell, just give me the entire kitchen.

3. Decide what to do with the floor to ceiling cabinets… build cases up and add new doors? Or maybe something like this?

But I think this is way more than the 12″ soffit removal will give me. This part is confusing … not sure what to do yet.

4. Paint.

And this is where things get really nutty. I’m pretty set on white/cream uppers, but the lowers… well. First of all, I believe the floor to ceiling cabinets should be the same colors as the lowers, right?

Except what about the free standing pantry/fridge cabinet? White, or lower color?

As for the paint scheme, I know I could pull off something like this — even with my bung counters:

This is kinda what our floors look like now.

And this is the color our floors will be someday.

Here’s the two tone white/gray look again…

And yet again… The Inspired Room did a real super good reno that pretty much matches exactly what I had originally planned.

Now, I know this is going to make me sound like an asshole, but the fact that this look has been done (and done beautifully), makes me not want to do it anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, this is still my awesome backup plan.

But now I am hatching a new crazy plan…

Namely, I am considering replacing the wood lowers with… wood lowers. Wait — not even replacing, because we’re keeping the old cabinets. The old SOLID WOOD cabinets.

But what if we stripped them, and stained them darker to tame the grain, and then we waxed or oil finished so they wouldn’t be 80s lacquer perestroika shiny, and then we added some awesome brass hardware?

What if?

I know you probably think I’m crazy, and maybe I am. But just wait until I unleash a torrent of super dope wood kitchens on you. A tiny taste:

Now, how hard will this be to execute???

Remember that I’m sick. Please be gentle.

Kitchen renovations have entered a mystical — dare I say Seussian — territory. I was pretty pumped by the surfeit of AMAZING comments on my last post, and fueled by renodrenaline I tracked down link after glorious link. Man, some of you are pretty freaking talented. And all of you have fantastic taste. I loved so many of the cabinet combos and layout suggestions you offered, and I promise we shall discuss them ad nauseum very soon.

But first, we must deal with this:

Oh yes. It’s true. There are two 2×12 load bearing beams stapled together in that god forsaken soffit. Hell, let’s call it what it is: a tray ceiling. The entire thing save a wee punch out in the center is dropped down to seven feet. As far as we can tell, the beam is the only thing that stands between us and gloriously smooth eight foot ceilings that rival an angel baby’s bottom. But there it is, and it can’t be moved.

Ben and I are going round and round about this… I don’t want to address the cabinets and not bust out the soffit, because I want to raise the uppers and build the floor to ceiling cases up to the (hopefully) new eight foot ceiling. But he keeps pointing out the expense, the mess, and the MF BEAM, and contends it’s not worth removing the soffit.

The whole thing is stressing me out and making me wonder if Stage One should be the floors instead.

It’s come to Jesus time, people. Am I crazy? Should we leave the dropped ceiling in there? Is it worth a thousand dollars, a mess, and possibly more drama (pipes? other beams?) to raise the ceiling when the beam will still be there?

I keep bringing up our old house to make the point that our dining room would have been horrifying with seven foot ceilings. And that maybe we could turn the beam into some kind of architectural detail? (Aside: I am seriously missing our old house right now. Too bad it was in hobo town.)

We don’t have room on the sides next to the cabinets to build out anything too boxy, but I was thinking maybe some glossy trim that tied into the upper creamy cabinet color might work? Yes, I see that there is still some kind of soffit in that room… Ben would be perfectly happy to move the soffit back to the cabinet line.

But I really want the whole thing gone. Perhaps a minimal wood facade would tie into our future light oak floors?

Love this, don’t think we have the room.

Not the best picture, but it looks like this kitchen has a beam on top of drywall maybe?

Or maybe we should just do drywall, perhaps with some arch at the corner, and trim the ceiling with thin molding? Would that look weird on the dinette side of the room, where there’s no cabinets or crown molding?

Oh, and there’s a soffit on that side of the room that hides the roof edge. Awesome!

(ps: the pink is getting axed asap. pregnant women should never choose paint colors. also we are getting a new dining set.)

We could always straight up drywall the beam in and paint it ceiling white.

Or maybe we should build a box out on the dinette side of the room to house some electrical, then hang lights from it?

Ok, HELP. Please.

The beam is literally blocking the path to renovation.

Should we knock out the entire soffit, or do we keep a dropped ceiling that is ugly but perfectly drywalled and functional?

Or maybe we just push the soffit back to the cabinet line?

If we knock it all out, how do we finish the beam? The devil is in the details, y’all.

Thanks. I love you forever and I promise to come back to cabinet colors soon.

[pinterest]

We’re finally embarking on a kitchen redo! I talked Ben into doing it all… but in stages. Stage One will address the ceiling and cabinets. Stage Two will demolish the fugly floors and replace them with natural oak. Stage Three involves jackhammering out the counters and backsplash and sacrificing them to the Milquetoast Beige Overlord. Then I’m thinking white quartz counters and simple carrara backsplash.

In the interest of moving Stage One of our kitchen renovation forward, we priced out midgrade Ikea cabinets and they came in at over 5K. I have to admit I was a little surprised since we did our last kitchen in the most expensive Ikea cabs for less. Luckily the current cabinets are more functional and of better quality than the last setup, so we’re going to work with what we have.

Where was I? Anyway, this whole time I have been planning something dramatic in terms of color for the kitchen… something not all white. Partly this is because my floors are revoltingly beige (for now), but also because I think painted white cabinets often scream HEY I PAINTED MY UGLY DATED OAK CABINETS.

Yes, I am an asshole. But I had to sacrifice this person for the greater good.

There are several things wrong here, but most glaringly the white is too white and the bright uniformity of color calls attention to the crappiness of the cabinetry.

I vow to avoid that mistake.

Low contrast two tone.

High contrast two tone. Both good, just different.

I’m resurrecting the two tone plan for our cabinets. I do love a white kitchen, but I think painting a darker hue on the lowers will break up the sea of cabinets, while painting the uppers light (but not blindingly so) will help to open the back wall and let it recede somewhat.

I mean, if you have fantastic cabinetry and glorious kitchen architecture that you want to highlight, then by all means paint it white.

Yes.

Yes.

Definitely yes.

No.

And my kitchen is only slightly better than the one above. Let’s review:

Yikes. And guess what? It looks worse in real life.

I was really hoping a two tone look would break up the oak acreage… but now that it’s time to choose a color I’m second guessing myself.

We plan to live here for a decade, probably. When it comes time to sell, will I wish I had just painted everything white? Will I be sad that I chose some shade of gray for the lowers, because gray is sooooooooo 2010?

All of the pro color blogs are drilling the WHITE WHITE WHITE kitchen mantra into my brain.

But I just don’t see all white kitchen cabinets looking good in here unless I rip everything else out and go mega snazzy on the backsplash to help distract from the cabinets, like this:

And that won’t look dated at all in 10 years.

So what do you think?

Are white cabinets the only way to go?

Will the two tone look date quickly?

What about gray?

Tired, poor, inquiring  minds need to know.

[images via pinterest]

Yes, I am still alive. I know it may seem like I fell off the face of earth, but that’s only because you don’t follow me on pinterest. Ahhhh, pinterest. Is there any place easier to access with my left hand whilst the right shoves a boob in the baby‘s mouth at 5 am? Nay, I say there is not. And what pinterest is bringing me these days is tile envy. Major major tile envy.

Tile in the kitchen…

Tile in the bathroom…

[Design Manifest]

Tile, tile, tile.

I could go on, but I’m getting sad. Just before Christmas I helped the in laws redo their guest bathroom, and seeing all that fresh new marble go in reminded me that our bathrooms look like this:

I feel that I should defend the cleanliness of our grout — it really is cleaner than it looks in the picture! I promise! Maybe it’s wet or something??? — but seriously, what’s the point? That is 10 pounds of shit packed into a five pound bag. Completely indefensible.

I would kill for those $1 black and white checkerboard tiles (set in a diamond pattern, please), and even the cheapo white square ceramic tiles behind the tub. I don’t need fancy — I need NEUTRAL. For heaven’s sake, who thought greenish khaki (basically bile colored) tiles were flattering in a bathroom?

Oh, and let’s not forget the kitchen.

What. The. What.

So this is how things break down: since we moved in I have either been sick and pregnant, on bedrest, or the caretaker of a newborn and a sassy three year old (they’re still here — just older). I did my best to transform the things I could with paint, curtains, fabric, etc., but there is some fundamental horribleness lurking in this house that must be demolished. The tile must die. The cabinets must be painted. A bowling ball might accidentally be dropped on the granite counters.

I need to win the lottery.

And/or maybe learn how to set tile.

In the meantime, I’m going to return periodically to take you on a tour of the cute rooms I have “finished,” and probably you will be so wowed by my magnificent decorating and photography skills that you will hire me to help you do one of those things.

Won’t someone think of the tile? For only the price of a cup of coffee a day it could be saved.

As long as that cup of coffee is a grande starbucks somethingccino with 24k gold sprinkles on top, but who’s counting.

It’s good to be back.

Happy New Year!

Ok dudes, I have maybe four minutes to write this post before Luke demands to be fed and then proceeds to vomit forth said feeding all over my briefly clean clothes, so buckle your seat belts because this is going to be a lightning fast haunted ass trip.

Remember how I said I can’t stop shopping at 4 am? Yeah, I wasn’t kidding. And at 4 am your brain isn’t wired quite properly… it might gravitate towards the quirky end of the spectrum. So when I saw this, my semi wired synapses sputtered and sparked up the old paypal account pretty much immediately. Love at first bleary sight.

Yes, that is a mega giant hand painted Victorian backdrop used for photographs. Like this.

These painted backdrops were used as early as the daguerreotype era, but more commonly for tintypes or carte de visites. Oh, and did I mention that I used to make daguerreotypes and albumen prints and all sorts of other toxic and delightful antique processes? I had to have this thing. Had. To.

Then it arrived in all its crumbling, eight-foot-square glory. Holy shit — BIG. Oh, and look at my new leprechaun green velvet chairs… they are GREEN.

Anyway, lucky for me Ben and my sweet father in law are handy men, capable of nothing less than magic. In other words, they built stretcher bars for this bad boy and then framed him up with cheapo molding from Home Depot that I spray painted gold (duh).

All along I had plans to transform the back wall of our living room from this drab, flat blahdom:

To this splendifirous rendering:

Ok, sure that may be Albert Hadley’s house, but you get the idea. I bought the backdrop to be a backdrop.

But, huh. Hmmmm. Yeah, I don’t know about that. PS, this is about how dark and flat that wall really is for most of the day. I photoshopped the bejeezus out of the other picture I posted previously… before I had a baby. When I had time to photoshop things and use a tripod and SHOWER.

Where was I?

I think I need to rethink my Albert Hadley plan. I don’t like how much of the backdrop is being backdropified by all the stuff piled in front of it. Should I ditch the mirror? The lamps? The credenza?

All of it?

I haven’t had the time or pumped up the muscles to move that credenza out of the way, but I have had time to make some mockups. Of course. Behold:

Option 1 recycles the rug I already have, tosses the credenza and adds a smaller antique oval library table. I saw one similar to this a few days ago… totally doable. I did black library sconces and muted pillows to tone down the rug.

Option 2 is a little more glamooooor. Brass and glass console (this is an actual table I could buy, thus the wonky angle), brass double sconces, same rug and pillows.

Option 3 is muted maximus. The sconces are similar to a pair I’m eyeing… new rug in this mockup.

I guess what I’m thinking is that the credenza has to go. It might fit somewhere else in this room…

Like where it used to be or behind the couch? But I use that white console as my desk, so then I would lose my desk space.

Also, thank gawd my house doesn’t look like that anymore.

Phew, that’s better.

Also also, whatever I do on the back wall needs to flow with the front part of the room. So I probably shouldn’t go too Tudor Regency all up on it. Whatever that means.

Ok, kids. There you have it.

What should I do?

Here are jpegs of the chairs and backdrop… make your own mockups if you want to.

I’m sure you have nothing better to do — like grocery shop and wash the sheets and sweep dust bunnies under the rug before your Thanksgiving guests arrive.

Speaking of, I need to do those things STAT.

Check y’all later.